confusedinca06 Posted December 2, 2013 Share Posted December 2, 2013 I've been dating my boyfriend on and off (mostly on) for three years. I love him dearly and am still very attracted to him. Would spend the rest of my life with him if he asked. He is going through a really stressful time in his life. It's too much to even get into, some issues include stress with finances, a new job that's not going well and his ex-wife getting re-married. But I have understood and not let it get to me. But it's now been 3 months since we have had sex. I have asked him about it several times and he just says it's not me, but just his own stuff. But then the other day we were discussing it and I asked him if he was sure it wasn't just me, and he said he wasn't actually sure. He's just confused and doesn't know what is wrong with him, but hates feeling like this and hurting me. Am I just wasting my time here? I love him so much, but it's killing me being with a guy who does not want to even touch me. We don't even kiss anymore or cuddle when we're watching TV at night. He doesn't even look at me and smile anymore. It's like having a roommate. How much time do I give this? And before you all ask, no, nothing has changed about my appearance. My weight fluctuates 5-10lbs throughout the year, but always has. I am not overweight. I am athletic and work out (run and do cross fit) and no one ever guesses I am 41. I look great for my age. He is also in great shape and very good looking for his age - he's 41 as well. I am also positive there is no one else. We live together, he hardly ever goes out with his friends anymore, and he hasn't gone away w/o me in months. And I am embarrassed to admit, I have snooped in his phone to see if there is any sexting going on and nada. We previously had a very active and fun sex life. He said he would talk to a therapist about it and wants to give it more time. But is it possible he just is not attracted to me anymore and is just not wanting to break my heart? Anyone experience this in the past? Is it possible to get the spark back? I don't want to pressure him and make it worse. Thank you for your advice! Link to post Share on other sites
Eggplant Posted December 2, 2013 Share Posted December 2, 2013 Is he on an antidepressant? Those will kill sex drive, even in a man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author confusedinca06 Posted December 2, 2013 Author Share Posted December 2, 2013 Hi Eggplant, yes, he is on meds. But he has been for over a year. He doesn't think they are the problem as his dosage hasn't changed. He says he functions ( I assume this means he gets aroused) but that he doesn't want to touch or be touched. He doesn't know anymore if this means by me, or by any woman. I am starting to think I should just tell him to go meet someone else and see if he gets those sparks and that intimacy again, and then if so, we both have our answer. I am devastated just at the thought. Link to post Share on other sites
theothersully Posted December 2, 2013 Share Posted December 2, 2013 He's in a funk/depression for sure. He's probably right when he says it's not you, it's him. Link to post Share on other sites
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