Would you sign a Relationship Agreement?

[Agent Orange]

I've recently been watching a lot of reruns of The Big Bang Theory mostly because it's ALWAYS on one channel or another.

 

Anyway, the Relationship Agreement between Sheldon and Amy got me thinking…would anyone on here actually draft and sign a Relationship Agreement if their S/O asked?

 

**In case you're wondering/have no clue what I'm talking about - the Relationship Agreement as portrayed on the show is basically a contract between the two people with the various terms of their relationship i.e. methods of communication, requirements for celebrating their anniversary, etc. Think of it as any other contract, only this one states the rules of your relationship.**

[Phantomu]

hahaha, uhhh. Probably not

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Gosh, the only thought in my head upon reading the title of this thread was "Sheldon Cooper" ("Shelly" to his mom)

[Lokie]

You know what, I kind of like the idea! It would take away a lot of this "what is he/she thinking?" stuff. At least expectations would be clear. It's done in the workplace all the time as well as any type of contractual business arrangement. I think it would be interesting for friendships too. Of course, I'd probably have no friends - or a boyfriend - once I suggested it, but hey, I still like it. :-)

[Eggplant]

Absolutely! The agreement sounds like a great idea. Then when there are problems later in the relationship, you can go back the agreement to renegotiate. It puts in clear black and white what you both think. It's great to understand each other.

[Agent Orange]

I think it would be interesting for friendships too. Of course, I'd probably have no friends - or a boyfriend - once I suggested it, but hey, I still like it. :-)

 

 

That actually happened on Real Housewives of Atlanta… one of the women drafted a friendship agreement as a joke but it got really weird and kind of spiraled out of control.

 

You should definitely try it though and see what happens.

[Agent Orange]

Absolutely! The agreement sounds like a great idea. Then when there are problems later in the relationship, you can go back the agreement to renegotiate. It puts in clear black and white what you both think. It's great to understand each other.

 

Part of the point would be to avoid problems though. For example, you could have a section specifically for arguing with the terms of how and where arguing is acceptable and how the conflict will be resolved. Almost like a contract/instruction manual.

 

OMG, is there a relationship instruction manual? If not, I call dibs.

[d0nnivain]

There was a college in New England, I think, that tried making the students sign a code of conduct that required them among other things to do this.

 

 

My husband & I signed a pre-nup. There are other pre-martial agreements that specify how much sex, weight, where you spend holidays etc.

 

 

While I think signing such a document makes for good television & is in keeping with Sheldon's character, it's a bit much for real life, although I don't see anything wrong with it. In a healthy relationship the people involved should be able to talk about these things.

[hotpotato]

Yes!

 

Terms and conditions:

Length of relationship

Sex

Financial obligations

Household obligations

[Agent Orange]

There was a college in New England, I think, that tried making the students sign a code of conduct that required them among other things to do this.

 

 

While I think signing such a document makes for good television & is in keeping with Sheldon's character, it's a bit much for real life, although I don't see anything wrong with it. In a healthy relationship the people involved should be able to talk about these things.

 

Antioch College in Ohio has a similar contract for students which requires them to ask permission/consent before engaging in sexual activity.

 

I agree it's a little much for real life, but it's really no different from a prenup especially given the content and restrictions of some prenups.

[acrosstheuniverse]

No. I want my partner to act in a way that makes me happy with the relationship because he wants to and because he cares about what I need from him. I want to keep my weight low, have lots of sex, etc. because I want those things for myself, and I want to do things like spend time with him, cook for him, do things I know he'll enjoy, make him feel appreciated because I get a kick out of making him happy. Once it gets put on paper sex would feel an obligation, I'd feel resentful that I was obligated to maintain a certain weight (not that that has ever been an issue for me) because 'it's MY body!', you get the picture.

 

A pre-nup for financial reasons I can more than understand, as you can never predict how the other person is going to act or change, however much you love them or believe in the relationship. But an agreement like that is just silly for a dating relationship.

[Got it]

Sure, depending on the details. But I have no issues with contracts and am all about getting rid of ambiguity!

[Woggle]

I support prenup agreements because people need legal protection in divorce but something like this just seems too formal to me and it takes the fun out of love. I don't need a contract to do right by somebody I love.

[xxoo]

No. I find it preferable by far to work things out as they come up. I want to know how he feels about things and why, not fall back on a predetermined agreement when he possibly felt differently.

[Shaine]

I think this is a good idea. Like when you have a disagreement, what will you two do.

 

Will implement this on next rs

[Grumpybutfun]

I have one. It isn't written down but we discussed and reiterated, renegotiated aspects of our relationship concerning needs/ expectations and the boring stuff such as who does what/when.

She also throws new stuff in when it is convenient for her such as last night when she said cuddling/lovemaking is required after she takes a bath with her new LeSource bubbles. I pick my battles.

Grumps