Guys -have you ever fallen in love with an average/not super-pretty girl?

[Iguanna]

Women who do that constantly make the guy's life miserable because they feel they settled then break his heart.

 

This is just an assumption you make from a couple of similar experiences you have had or heard of. You can't make it general (not even the opposite). All situations are different and we can't create a general rule based on some experiences.

 

At least shallow men are honest from the start and don't waste a woman's time.

 

Honesty that excuses ****ty behavior is not considered good honesty. But from the other side of view, it's better that these shallow men show early their ****ty character so good girls don't bother with them. You are kinda right there.

 

What you all seem to forget it that an average girl with good personality will not be interested herself in such a shallow guy. Just cause she is average looking does not mean she will compromise with every d#ck she may like for 5 minutes.

 

And if I'm allowed to create another rule: shallow men who go for the hotties end up alone, while their friends who have chosen a good and caring and loving personality versus a perfect beauty are happy.

[FrankieFrank]

I know that 'average' women get married/partnered every day and are loved by their partners and happy etc

 

...but I was wondering whether or not that crazy/all consuming madly in love feeling is reserved for the likes of beautiful women only?

 

Is it possible for a man to be madly head over heels in love with an average woman? Have you ever been truly in love with a woman that perhaps didn't meet the typical definition of pretty or beautiful?

 

Uhhhh...

 

When I fall in love with a girl, she becomes beautiful to me by default. What rest of the world thinks doesn't exactly bother me.

[Vogeltron]

Not that I disagree, it's your point of view, but in the way you describe it is as if you compromise to an average woman cause you can't afford or deal with a hot woman and for this reason you like the average woman less. Is this the case or did I misunderstand it?

 

Essentially, I can not be myself. I roll over, and give into anything she wants. Basically anything she asks for I go into autopilot and do. I become so enthralled especially if she is very nice and understanding. Even if I know it I can't help myself I end up doing way more than I should. Eventually becoming the woman and the one that lets themselves be walked all over.

 

Maybe it is a typo on your end but that means I am more attracted to average woman. One that I can relate to and so on. Most very attractive women don't understand that they live by a different set of rules. And it is very true they can get away with much more than average/regular women. Personally, I prefer to be with someone I feel like I am on the same level with. I may not be every guy but I found that is what works best for me. While looks are still important it is a split between that and personality/character at-least for me.

[TheBigQuestion]

I've fallen the hardest for women that one would call "objectively beautiful," but that wasn't always a good thing.

 

But yes, I've dated, and in many cases been very much into, women who are average-looking.

[gabgab]

Essentially, I can not be myself. I roll over, and give into anything she wants. Basically anything she asks for I go into autopilot and do. I become so enthralled especially if she is very nice and understanding. Even if I know it I can't help myself I end up doing way more than I should. Eventually becoming the woman and the one that lets themselves be walked all over.

 

This and THeBigQuestions response support my claim that men fall hardest for more beautiful women than average looking women, but they are capable of being into average women (just not enthralled with them, of course) Men are extremely visual creatures.

 

Do men fall in love with average women? Sure. Do they fall MADLY in love with them? Nope, but they do with beautiful women.

[Iguanna]

This and THeBigQuestions response support my claim that men fall hardest for more beautiful women than average looking women, but they are capable of being into average women (just not enthralled with them, of course) Men are extremely visual creatures.

 

Do men fall in love with average women? Sure. Do they fall MADLY in love with them? Nope, but they do with beautiful women.

 

That's the rule YOU created cause another poster said his experience? Don't you understand it's not logical to create rules only based on individual experiences? If I come and say now that I know a story where the man is totally madly in love with an ugly woman, will I create a new rule?

[ltjg45]

This is basically my stance on this.

 

When it comes to women, you need to be attractive in my opinion for me to even consider approaching you for anything more than friendship.

 

That's the first part that is needed. That can't be substituted esp. if I have to be the one to approach, as deemed by society, to get anything started.

 

That level of attraction varies, of course. My bare minimum is not that high (to the point where half the women I see around me, I am attracted to) but, of course, the more beautiful the woman is to me, the more I desire her.

 

So, by that method, it is easy to say that if an average successful model and an regular overall woman both approach me at my cashier lane, normally, the model would be more attractive to me just by profession alone and the level of beauty being a model demands. But that is not always the case. I have seen some very attractive regular women that, in my eyes, I consider to be model-like in looks and, in my opinion, can def. be a model if she wanted to.

 

However.....

 

If a woman thinks she can keep my attention by just looking gorgeous, that is COMPLETELY false. I can't emphasize "completely" high enough in that previous statement.

 

If she is rude, has a negative attitude towards men, doesn't do anything productive, smokes, constantly cusses, has a scowl on her face all of the time, etc etc, my attraction to her drops depending on how bad it really is. I generally get a decent idea of the person that she is just by watching her in public and then deciding if she is worth the risk of approaching.

 

This method allowed me to pass up on approaching a ton of women that I consider attractive enough to approach and start a conversation because the negative things I noticed she has was enough for me to back off.

 

An example is that I have been looking at a ton of women from Ukraine and their profiles and photos off of a Russian dating site. A lot of the profiles I read there is almost generally the same so I only look through them to see if there is any truly big deal breakers there like having 2 or more children, at least 10 years older than me, if she smokes, etc etc....

 

The photos, however, almost all of them is insanely beautiful and I got a big contact list as a result of it. Some of them happens to be models so that explains why their profile looks so good.

 

However, the woman that I have the most interest in happens to not be a model, if I were to go off of her profile. She is, to me, the most attractive woman I have met on the site by far, which is incredible considering all of the photos of other women I have seen, but she also has a outstanding personality to go along with her beauty and, in her interview, she not only answered every question there but also had at least a paragraph of words in each answer.

 

I have yet to see that kind of in-depth interview and everything she had said, I'm totally in sync with. So far, if I were to make the trip over to Odessa, she would be the first woman I want to get to know and speak with.

 

So, yes, it is definitely possible for me to fall in love with an not-so-pretty woman, in comparison to other women. In fact, I would have fallen in love with quite a few here in Jacksonville if she wasn't playing so many games or generally is more negative than I am.

[millymollymandy]

Thank you all for your replies!!! I've had a great time reading through them and will follow the discussion with interest if it continues (and I hope it will).

 

I think on balance it seems safe to conclude that it would indeed be reasonable (and not delusional) to go through life with the belief that profound love/intense passion is a very real possibility for everyone, regardless of looks. Isn't that wonderful!

Edited December 11, 2013 by millymollymandy
typo

[Leigh 87]

This is total horse sh*t.

 

I had a guy fall MADLY, totally crazy in love with me. He has had those skinny hot girls before, yet he completely lost his sh*t with me..

.... He had to go get psychiatric help due to him falling so madly for me; he thought of me every waking moment, when I did not love him back in the same way.

He thought I was the most beautiful girl he had EVER seen. Ever. To HIM I was, even though I am just yo' average girl:lmao:

 

I am an average looking girl and I think my boyfriend will fall madly in love with me. Because he honestly thinks I am beautiful. To him.

 

My gut instinct is that we both felt something very genuine and special between us from the moment we met, and I don't think he would go THAT MUCH more crazy about me if I was a 9/10.

 

I honestly do not believe my current boyfriend would have fallen any harder for me if I was hotter.

I believe he thought I was gorgeous ( to him, since I am only average to most guys, I suppose), and he liked the way I was.

...Thinking a girl is adorable and as a button and with a great figure is ENOUGH for a man to fall madly in love; being a great beauty is not necessary.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is Ludacris to think guys ONLY fall madly in love with the most beautiful girls.

[Leigh 87]

This and THeBigQuestions response support my claim that men fall hardest for more beautiful women than average looking women, but they are capable of being into average women (just not enthralled with them, of course) Men are extremely visual creatures.

 

Do men fall in love with average women? Sure. Do they fall MADLY in love with them? Nope, but they do with beautiful women.

 

 

 

This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.

 

This whole thread is ridiculous:lmao:

 

A man cannot be "enthralled" with an average girl?

 

[Iguanna]

Do guys and girls confuse desire and love? Do guys and girls have a different definition for these two feelings? I can accept a guy will DESIRE a model style woman more. But will he LOVE her more? How can we know? The only thing that we know about her is that the size of her body is one that is appropriate for her to work as a model = wearing small size clothes of designers who of course don't want to spend more fabric than this. So we don't know the basics for her, her personality, her character, her habits, how she behaves, how she entertains herself, how she is in general, and if we miss this knowledge how can we decide if a man can love this woman?

 

I'm average, maybe below average also compared to the standards of the society. I know (at least) two men who loved me and will always love me for who I am. I'm sure more average women will say the same.

 

An interesting matter jan_may talked about is this: why are men embarrassed to admit they like and love a woman who has unconventional looks? I have heard about this before, I have asked men to explain this to me but I still don't get it.

[millymollymandy]

This is total horse sh*t.

 

I had a guy fall MADLY, totally crazy in love with me. He has had those skinny hot girls before, yet he completely lost his sh*t with me..

.... He had to go get psychiatric help due to him falling so madly for me; he thought of me every waking moment, when I did not love him back in the same way.

He thought I was the most beautiful girl he had EVER seen. Ever. To HIM I was, even though I am just yo' average girl:lmao:

 

It's so sad when one party feels it and the other doesn't. I hope he has recovered and moved on from you now and is happy. I was crazy in love with a man who didn't feel that way about me, it was terrible, but it gave me an idea of how amazing it would have been had he reciprocated my feelings.

 

 

I am an average looking girl and I think my boyfriend will fall madly in love with me. Because he honestly thinks I am beautiful. To him.

... but Leigh you are not average. I can see from your photos you are a beautiful blonde that most men would find beautiful, so it's not really the same, but anyway I do now see that there is magnificent love out there for everyone.

 

 

I honestly do not believe my current boyfriend would have fallen any harder for me if I was hotter.

I believe he thought I was gorgeous ( to him, since I am only average to most guys, I suppose), and he liked the way I was.

...Thinking a girl is adorable and as a button and with a great figure is ENOUGH for a man to fall madly in love; being a great beauty is not necessary.

That is wonderful that you have now found someone and you both feel the same way about each other!

 

It is Ludacris to think guys ONLY fall madly in love with the most beautiful girls.

I'm glad about that!

[Els]

Experience states simply: Yes

 

Honestly, from observation, extremely good-looking women do not receive more 'love' than others. They simply receive more lust, which is not the same. Yes, there will be plenty of men tripping over their feet to get to her, but how many of them will still be there for her in several years' time, after having held her hand through the bad times?

 

The answer: As many as there would have been had she been 'average'-looking. I count myself such, and yet my R brings me more happiness than some of my model friends' Rs bring to them.

 

Have faith in the male species, OP. Not all of them are as superficial as some here would have you believe

Edited December 11, 2013 by Elswyth

[regine_phalange]

I'm a woman.

I have a great appreciation for male handsomeness. I like to be surrounded by beauty.

But, which people do I consider handsome?

Thing is, they are usually average-looking to others.

Male models? Not my type!

 

I want a man who thinks that way about beauty too. I want someone who has a freaky taste (in everything). And there are such guys; for everyone. There have been men who have worshipped the ground I was walking on, as there have been men (a lot more than the 1st category) who thought I looked weird.

[Leigh 87]

It's so sad when one party feels it and the other doesn't. I hope he has recovered and moved on from you now and is happy. I was crazy in love with a man who didn't feel that way about me, it was terrible, but it gave me an idea of how amazing it would have been had he reciprocated my feelings.

 

 

 

... but Leigh you are not average. I can see from your photos you are a beautiful blonde that most men would find beautiful, so it's not really the same, but anyway I do now see that there is magnificent love out there for everyone.

 

 

 

That is wonderful that you have now found someone and you both feel the same way about each other!

 

 

I'm glad about that!

 

 

 

 

Thanks very much for your kind words:) how flattering:love:

 

My ex was not all that into my looks and hardly wanted to have sex with me.

My orgasms were entirely derived from me going to bed at night next to him and masturbating. Since he never got that "urge" to please me sexually.

Another guy who was sitting with our group of friends, for no apparent reason, said " you know Leigh 87, I don't find you remotely attractive"

 

 

The guys that have fallen hardest for ME, seemed to not have felt anywhere near that level of "crazy" love feelings for their exes..... some of who were BETTER LOOKING than me, objectively speaking...

The cute guy who fell in love with me and is not dealing with a world of pain living without me ( after a mere month of hanging out).

 

...HIS ex was hotter than me by most peoples standards. He didn't fall as crazy for her as he did me.

 

You know, my current boyfriend had an ex who I would consider to be unattractive or average by societies standards...

Yet he is not the type to leave a girl like that just cos' a "hot" girl comes along. He is just NOT like that. In fact, he loved her enough to not leave when she was a moron to him. He is cute and can get hot girls and had done prior to that girl, too....

[M30USA]

I suspect that "average" looking women, on the whole, make far superior wives. Actually I don't suspect, I am certain.

Edited December 11, 2013 by M30USA

[ltjg45]

This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.

 

This whole thread is ridiculous:lmao:

 

A man cannot be "enthralled" with an average girl?

 

 

Every guy's definition of "average" can easily be very different. My definition of "average" can be seen as much higher quality than the majority of US males' definition of "average" since I have yet to feel the feeling of true love with a US woman yet, hence my bigger interest in foreign women instead.

 

Hell, I can see people call me being too darn picky. I am cool with that. I wish there is more like me. Being single until you find someone that is suitable is not a bad lifestyle at all.

 

Just wish I had more opportunities for sex. That is the only thing I truly miss from not being in a relationship.

[hotpotato]

I suspect that "average" looking women, on the whole, make far superior wives. Actually I don't suspect, I am certain.

 

Why would you think that?

[hotpotato]

This and THeBigQuestions response support my claim that men fall hardest for more beautiful women than average looking women, but they are capable of being into average women (just not enthralled with them, of course) Men are extremely visual creatures.

 

Do men fall in love with average women? Sure. Do they fall MADLY in love with them? Nope, but they do with beautiful women.

 

Not true.

 

Men fall in love with average or below average looking women all the time.

 

Do you know the difference between love and lust?

[MalachiX]

This and THeBigQuestions response support my claim that men fall hardest for more beautiful women than average looking women, but they are capable of being into average women (just not enthralled with them, of course) Men are extremely visual creatures.

 

Do men fall in love with average women? Sure. Do they fall MADLY in love with them? Nope, but they do with beautiful women.

 

Calling BS right here. If you love someone, there's no such thing as average. For that matter, feeling romantic towards someone is very different than feeling super hot for them.

 

I fall in love with someone's eyes, or, more accurately, how their personality shines through their eyes. Yes I want to be attracted to them (so I may be less likely to fall for someone VERY overweight or who has some major physical problem); but falling in love isn't based on their hotness. It's just not.

 

I want someone sexy but I also want someone unique. Any woman who looks too like a supermodel is not going to be someone I'd likely feel romantic towards because she looks too much like an image that's being sold to me by the media rather than an individual who I love and want to be with.

 

As I said before, eyes are a big thing because I think you can often get a sense of who someone is by looking into their eyes when you hear them speak. It's like their soul shines through.

 

I fell in love with my longest relationship for her eyes. I think she was attractive but she wasn't a supermodel. That didn't matter to me. She kinda has a Kate Winslet look to her (a little shorter and a tad pudgier) and I've always found Kate Winslet attractive because she has very intelligent eyes that convey a strong and sophisticated person.

 

I've also started to fall for someone I hadn't previously been enthralled with after I got to know them more. In this case, the girl was reasonably attractive (I really don't know what average means in this case), but I hadn't been particularly into her. Then, I got to chat with her and saw her laugh. Something about seeing how she lit up when she smiled suddenly made her incredibly attractive to me (and made me feel romantically inclinded to her).

[MalachiX]

 

An interesting matter jan_may talked about is this: why are men embarrassed to admit they like and love a woman who has unconventional looks? I have heard about this before, I have asked men to explain this to me but I still don't get it.

 

Because they're insecure.

 

I don't have any problem with someone who looks different from the rest because I like people who are unique.

 

I remember I got into an argument with a friend over the actress Jennifer Connely (who I think is utterly stunning). Apparently some guys find her very pronounced eyebrows a turn off because they look different than most women's. I think she has amazing eyes and gets my vote for the most beautiful woman on the planet.

[gabgab]

That's the rule YOU created cause another poster said his experience? Don't you understand it's not logical to create rules only based on individual experiences? If I come and say now that I know a story where the man is totally madly in love with an ugly woman, will I create a new rule?

 

Nope because that doesn't exist. Or at least not "madly"

[Iguanna]

Nope because that doesn't exist. Or at least not "madly"

 

Then we can't have a conversation. Have fun

[hotpotato]

Nope because that doesn't exist. Or at least not "madly"

 

Ive been told im really good looking and smart, but yet I have guys leaving me for more average women.

 

Im like the female Good Luck Chuck. Guys will come at me for sex or whatever. They drop me and get married or engaged to a more average looking woman often pretty quickly.

[Revolver]

Ive been told im really good looking and smart, but yet I have guys leaving me for more average women.

 

Im like the female Good Luck Chuck. Guys will come at me for sex or whatever. They drop me and get married or engaged to a more average looking woman often pretty quickly.

 

It's Usually the other way around though. Guy uses the average to below average women for sexual favors then dates/marries the "hot" girl. Look at male celebrities with groupies