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I've completely forgotten how to do this


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m. 25. 3 relationships in the last 9 years.

 

When I was in high school I was with someone for 2.5 years, in college I was with two women, about a year and change each. Since august 2010 I've been on one date, and it didn't go well. I had some trouble with drugs around then, nothing crazy, but enough that I left school for a bit and went to an outward bound sort of program for 9 weeks and then a sober living integration program in salt lake city. I know this sounds odd, but I'm a totally normal dude, I just got myself into some **** and it took a while to get out of it. I went back to school and graduated and am now perusing the career of my dreams. I'm finally ready, in that I'm happy with myself and where I'm at in life, to start dating again. The problem is, I have completely forgotten how to do this.

It was so much easier meeting people in school, but when I was back after my break I didn't feel comfortable discussing my "story" with strangers. I've been using a certain free dating site, which I'll leave anonymous. I have had little success, as I find it difficult just to start a conversation with someone. I'm well aware that online dating is a numbers game, but that hasn't worked out so far.

My only other real opportunity for me to meet women is when I take my dog to the dog park. Sometimes I'll notice a woman looking at me, maybe a smile, I always want to say hello but then I blank and usually end up making some sort of stupid smile and walking away cause I'm so nervous. I used to be good at this!

Does anyone have any ideas for me? Some way to increase my confidence, or advice on how to approach a woman in public?

Any advice here would be greatly appreciated.

 

Sincerely,

VictorKulak

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Practice. It's the only way.

For help with the online dating, try the POF profile review forum. Google it.

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VictorKulak,

Congratulations on your sobriety.

 

I know what you mean about being a normal guy who got mixed up in bad stuff. I hope you find what you're looking for. All things take practice. Eventually you can move on from the simple greetings to a lengthy conversation when you're feeling ready.

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It is easier to meet people in school but not impossible in real life.

 

The dog park is a great place. I went to a singles group called Leashes & Lovers because I could bring my dog. There are all sorts of special interest groups around. Look up the ones by you on the internet.

 

I'm not a big fan of free dating sites. With the for pay ones you at least know the people are committed enough to plunk down $$$.

 

Try an alumni group. Take or teach an adult education course.

 

If you like your job, go to your industry networking events. That's where I met my husband.

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I'm not a big fan of free dating sites. With the for pay ones you at least know the people are committed enough to plunk down $$$.

You would think so, wouldn't you? But remember most paid sites allow you to create a profile for free (to review your matches, look around or whatever). So you never know if the people you're messaging can actually read your message, or if they're just free preview accounts. In my experience you don't get any more replies or dates on a paid site than a free one.

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