I Love You???

[Jan]

HELP!

 

I have been in a relationship with a guy for three years. NEVER once has he told me he love's me. He does thing's that would lend you to believe he love's me but he never comes out and say's it to me. I have told him I love him, and he responds with a smile. Yesterday I asked him do you love me, and he said he is not sure but he still want's to date. and I was like HUH?!. After three year's of dating wouldn't you know if you loved someone or not?

 

At this moment I wondering if I should be ending this..what I am looking for I guess is a little feed back..am I doing the right thing? or could this be something he learned from his parent's?.

 

THANKS!

[Beesting]

I can only tell you that if it were me in your situatoin, he would be kicked to the curb. I said "I love you" to my fiance first, but he followed with his own pledge only a few days later.

 

Sounds like he has a problem with committment. By dating him for the past 3 years without his committment of love, you may be missing out on whatever else is out there. Why not ask i fyou can date other people so at least you have SOME chance of finding love?

[Jaylene]

I think that if he still does not know if he loves after three years that you should not be wasting your time. I understand that it is hard if in fact you have strong feelings for him, but you must think of your emotions being hurt. Three years is a long time to invest in a relationship; it is only fair that you get something out of it too.

 

I think that you should break up with him and see how he reacts. And don't give in right away if he tells you he loves you just to satisfy you. Wait at least a month ro however long yuo think is proper and let him prove it to you. Your emotions are soemthing not to be payed with. You deserve to be with soemthing wholoves you back the same way you love them. Good luck hun!

HELP! I have been in a relationship with a guy for three years. NEVER once has he told me he love's me. He does thing's that would lend you to believe he love's me but he never comes out and say's it to me. I have told him I love him, and he responds with a smile. Yesterday I asked him do you love me, and he said he is not sure but he still want's to date. and I was like HUH?!. After three year's of dating wouldn't you know if you loved someone or not? At this moment I wondering if I should be ending this..what I am looking for I guess is a little feed back..am I doing the right thing? or could this be something he learned from his parent's?. THANKS!

[Tony T]

There are many people who come from homes where there was little verbal or physical demonstration of love. Most fall into the category of dysfunctional families where there was alcohol consumed by parents along with administration of physical and.or emotional abuse. Other people are just born with an innate shyness about the topic, althoug they are fully capable of feeling deep love for another person. They are just not good at expressing it.

 

Perhaps he was emotionally or physically abandoned by one or more people he loved very much as a youth...and therefore is terrified of venturing to love again for fear of reliving that pain.

 

If you came from a more healthy family, I can't believe you've waited this long for a high-sign. You have great patience.

 

Three years is plenty of time to know whether or not you have deep feelings for someone. I'd bet my life he does.

 

What you should consider doing is very patiently and calmly sitting down with him alone somewhere and going over the issue very slowly. You must understand that for some people who have gone through a great deal of trauma or who are extemely shy about this particular issue, getting him to actually tell you he loves you might be akin to winning the lottery. It may take you a while.

 

Maybe you could ask him to rank his feelings for you from one to ten. Anything above an 8.5 would be love.

 

You won't get miracles overnight with this guy. It could take him a very long time of being with you to freely use the L word. But you wouldn't have been around him for three years if he didn't have other great qualities you admire...and he wouldn't have stayed with you this long if his feelings for you weren't very deep.

 

I do give you my word that if you left this guy because of this problem, his life would most likely crumble. Trust me. When you have this talk with him, if you are kind and slow, you will have him in tears...guaranteed.

 

Please let me know.