grahamssss Posted December 31, 2004 Share Posted December 31, 2004 anyone give me some advice. my ex who i broke up with cus i was scared of commitment, i think i have done the same and confused her too!! and i have desperately been tryin to get back with wen i realised after some space (week) has been seein a lad, totally the opposite of me, within the week!! and texts him 10 times and day and rings him for an hour at nite. We were together 2 years, and were incredibly serious bout each other. never argued and were talkin bout marriage and movin in. my mates tell me she is seein him to give her self esteem and to see if the grass is greener on the other side and will come back wen she wakes up one day and says 'hes not graham'. we were always obsessed with each other. now i really want her back and have acted needy and obsessive over her recently, tryin to push her into a relationship which i know is wrong. we spent time together and she said she loved it but didnt like the needy obsessive me, and was seein him occassionally too!! (prob tryin to make up her mind, and cus he was new, he jus played it off and shes now interested in him where as i never gave her space to choose - wrong again!! )I need some advice as how to act. i am bound to bump into her, see her or she rings me, shall i jus say to her 'ring me if u ever fancy a laff or need anything' and jus play it off as a mate. then if she rings me jus go wherever with her, have a laff, treat her totally as a mate - he knows how serious we were. she says the thing she liked most was i was hard to get and she was instantly attracted to me, more than anyone before. should i believe this is a rebound and in time he may make a mistake or she may realise and we may get another chance? yet i know the second chance would have to b us both together as a new relationship. i am goin to live my life for a bit, i dont need a relationship unless its with her. i finish uni in 5 months and jus want a laff!! think thats what i need, to show her i can live without her, im great fun and ppl want me. shes so jealous over other girls still!!! ta!! CONFUSED G!! oh and sorry for the long post but does anyone think this is a rebound?? how long do they last and what are the signs? Link to post Share on other sites
GirlDown Posted December 31, 2004 Share Posted December 31, 2004 you already showed her you can live without her because you broke up with her. you made your decision and you changed your mind. now she has a chance to deicide what she wants. tell her you'll be around IF she's looking for you. then leave her alone to make her own decisions. Link to post Share on other sites
Author grahamssss Posted December 31, 2004 Author Share Posted December 31, 2004 thanks, just wanted it clarifying. thanks for being honest graham Link to post Share on other sites
Author grahamssss Posted January 1, 2005 Author Share Posted January 1, 2005 the first week i broke up with her, i didnt speak to her and as soon as i saw her she was all over me. then i decided i needed space, went for a week, came back and shed found someone else? i dont understand it, she was tellin me she loved me and all i needed was space and time. i dont know how to act wen i c her. i dont know what to expect from her. i will give her the time and space she needs. wen i see her ill be happy, chatty and fun. i guess wen she sees my face it mite jog her mind. she knows my internal telephone no, and she can ring it. wen we were together if i got text or she heard i was chattin to a girl she was so jealous? i jus cant help thinkin one day she will wake up and realise and its drivin me crazy!!!! i just dont understand y she texts him so much? is it jus needin someone there, does she like him, is she replacing me, is she on the rebound. i jus feel i cant escape it any time of the day. i wish she'd sit down and think bout me and her, but she wont, she speaks to him?!?! then i think does she spk 2 him cus she likes him or cus shes coverin!!!!! arrrgghhhhh im goin mad...... surely if she hated sex with him and cried to me she;d realise??? or maybe have i scared her off being too upfront. i dont know how to undo the damage. time will tell and i must give her that and space. i guess NC from me will only help as she will ring me wen she wants. Link to post Share on other sites
Author grahamssss Posted January 1, 2005 Author Share Posted January 1, 2005 i jus dont know what he wants from her.... i guessed sex cus shes lonely and needy and if he does itll crash round her ears, but surely if he wanted sex y does he keep such good contact with her? its screwin me over!!! my mates say go out and chat to women, get urself seen with girls, get the msg back to her, make her jealous and shell wonder y shes jealous, but i dont wanna play tit for tat Link to post Share on other sites
smile Posted January 1, 2005 Share Posted January 1, 2005 I know this is hard but you really need to stop worrying about who she txts and how often. It sucks I know. My ex and I share a phone plan and when he was seeing someone else I would have to see the breakdown of phone calls on the bill. That hurt. But I made myself realize that he broke up with me. He wasnt doing this to hurt me.. he was getting on with his life. I cant take that personally. He wasnt calling her when we were together... he is moving on. Yeh that sucks but when I stopped taking it personally it made all the difference. It hurts yeh sure it does. There will be moments when you can think of nothing else.. what is she doing, who is she with.. but I promis you after a bit of living your life and no contact.. you will wake up one day and realize you slept through the night without waking up and wondering who she is with and if she is ok. I dunno.. this is just my opinion. I hope it helps. Take care... you matter to her or she wouldnt have called you and cried, thats true. But right now she is with someone else.. or trying to be....go out and live your life. If its meant to be she will come around. Link to post Share on other sites
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