Need a little guidance

[Tberg]

Hi, I'm looking for advice and a little guidance. I have been married for 18 years and not only do I love my husband but I still like him. We were pretty happy for the first thirteen years of our marriage but then my husband was in a really bad sledding accident and he became addicted to painkillers. Things went downhill fast and he became a different person. I won't go into all of the details but I do believe that he cheated. Although I have no actual proof, my suspicions are pretty solid. He has been clean now for two years and he is back to his old self. He is kind, supportive and a great dad. My problem is that he continues to lie. It's about stupid stuff that would in no way effect our marriage but I feel like I can't trust him. It is making it very difficult for me to get over everything that has happened in the past. I really want our marriage to work but it hurts and I am leaning towards a separation. Any suggestions other than MC. We have tried that in the past but he has trouble opening up and being honest especially when it comes to things that I may need to work on.

[mikei880]

I feel for you! This sounds almost exactly like what hapened to me... I know what you are going through, and the advice I will give is for you to get some counseling yourself. Therapy will help you sort through your feelings and put things into perspective. It does help if you go in trusting the process. If you can get your husband to go to marriage counseling concurrently that would be great too. Depression during pain is tough and with the addiction and stress that goes along with it he probably made some horrible couices. He probably feels terrible and carries around a big bag of guilt. This will take a lot to get through if you BOTH want it bad enough. Use your head along with your heart.

[Tberg]

Thanks for your reply. I know he wasn't himself and that he does carry around a lot of guilt. I will try counseling and I will also ask him to give it a try