katie Posted January 22, 2001 Share Posted January 22, 2001 It is nice that you worry about him but is not nice that he is making you unhappy by his actions. Definetely, he has problems but you are not responsible for his sanity. Don't let him abuse you with psychological threats. Talk to him and explain him that his actions are hurting both of you. if you continue to feel uncomfortable end the relationship ASAP! Link to post Share on other sites
maffy Posted January 22, 2001 Share Posted January 22, 2001 Hello confused, When i was sixteen i used to date a guy kinda like yours. Very troubled and rebelious, but intelligent and nice to me. I did have a good influence on him, and he told me so. But our relationship didint last. One day i realised that we were too different people. I was more positive and focused about school and life in general where as he was down and frustrated. I eventually left him for a much happier guy! However i have had similar relationships since then, where i was hoping the guy would change or get through his phase. Unfortunately you cant make people change that much. A little perhaps, but you dont have that much power. That's why it's not only important to love someone but to choose someone who can love you back the way you deserve, and that you will feel comfortable with, and not worry about endlessly. Helping other people with problems, being compassionate and understanding makes us feel better but you have to truly ask yourself, are you happy with this guy, are you getting what you want (ie a honest and caring relationship on both parts)... In the end you have to think about yourself, your needs, because no one else will do it for you. You should start now and not wait till your 30 like i did! You shouldnt take on somebody elses problems unless your in a very commited relationship and that your both determined to improve the situation. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted January 22, 2001 Share Posted January 22, 2001 This guy's life is NOT your responsibility. When somebody treats you like crap, get away from them. What they do to themselves is not your doing and you should not be concerned. Your main focus should be on how you are treated. If this guy is so concerned about you keeping him sane, he should have a lot more consideration for your feelings and respect for the relationship. The guy has cheated on you and lied to you more than once and that's not the kind of person you want to hold you hostage. If he does something crazy, send flowers. Just be sure he doesn't do anything crazy to you...beyond what he's already done. Link to post Share on other sites
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