penultimatethrow Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 So... I'm coping quite well on the whole. There's days I feel better, though still not yet a single day without thinking about her. There's days I can't stop thinking about the good times and missing her. And there's days when I can only remember the bad times, the hurt, the pain, and I don't think fondly of her at all. Then there's days like today when I'm just sick of it, I don't want to think about her, I don't want her in my head, my heart, anywhere. I want to stop wondering what she thinks, whether she still misses me, whether the part of her that did/does love me still exists, or ever did, the future, everything. I want her gone from my mind. How can I do this?! It should be so much easier than this. I have so much else I need and want to do, and things I need to figure out apart from her, but I can't seem to stop going back to her everytime. Thanks if you read my little rant. It's been helpful to vent to you all. Would love some advice or encouragement if you have any to spare. Link to post Share on other sites
bedelgeuse Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 no advice here other then I'm in the same boat with you! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mario79 Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 If it were possible... You will always hear the advice to remove all things that remind you of her, delete information or pictures from phone or computer, leave social media, forget any kind messaging. Doing this shows that you are willing to take a step in that direction. But your emotions and memories, reminders of the time spent together, you cant handle that the same way. I live this everyday, every hour, I am sure you do as well. Hell I can't go to public places because I find myself looking for her, and I see couples and all I feel is anxiety. I tell myself this is a lesson, it revealed weaknesses and its a chance to address them, our happiness should never be tied to a person or a thing. Sounds like you hold some of your own answers if you have things you want to do. I sometimes imagine, what if I died tomorrow, would I honestly say I lived my way. You should share your plans, seeing them written down helps 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Sharpender Posted December 10, 2013 Share Posted December 10, 2013 I've found that staying busy is the only thing that works for me. People say time heals, and I'm sure that's true 99% of the time. Unfortunately, that hasn't been the case for me. It's been more than 20 years for me and there are some days when I still feel like I'm drowning. She and I have "moved on" and we have our own families now; I think about her everyday and I miss her desperately. There is a great quote by Jim Frey; “I miss everything. I miss talking to her, hearing about her day. I miss her voice all gravelly and smoky, I miss hearing her laugh, I miss getting her letters, writing her letters. I miss her eyes, and the smell of her hair, and the way her breath tasted. I ****ing miss everything. I miss knowing she was around, because it helped me to know that she was around, someone like her existed. I guess most of all, I miss knowing I would see her again. I always thought I'd see her again.” People say I still feel this way because I idealize her and have forgotten her faults. It's not true. I remember her faults and I hated them when we were together...and now I miss those faults. Just stay busy brother, stay very busy. Link to post Share on other sites
hrtblds2ez Posted December 10, 2013 Share Posted December 10, 2013 I think only time is the cure. And that amount of time is different for every person and every situation. Hang in there!! A poster once mentioned "baby steps". That's the best way I can see. Most days it feels like I'm not even doing that. Other days I think I've come to a realization and moving forward, there's always setbacks. Try not to make them self inflicted!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SerCay Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 Same here OP... I'm gladly reading all the tips of other posters Link to post Share on other sites
TrappedWanderer Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 Meee tooo....some days I'm angry at what he did, others I'm terribly hurt...and others I'm missing him and can't stop that "what should have been" thoughts....usually it's a mix of all of those things at once. I can't wait for a time when he's not a part of my thinking anymore, sigh... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SerCay Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 I can't wait for a time when he's not a part of my thinking anymore,.. This is my new favourite quote. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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