Found nude photos on my boyfriend's USB

[g1gg13z]

Last week my boyfriend of almost 2 years lent me a USB stick. I noticed he had a folder titled "Mobile photos", so I thought I'd have a look just to see if he had any photos of the 2 of us that I might not have. There was a sub-folder called "Downloads". I opened that one first. BIIIIIIG MISTAKE! About 800+ photos of nude women & screenshots from porn videos appeared. We got together in early 2012 & some dated as far back as 2009. The more recent ones stopped around August this year (while we've been together). I felt sick to the stomach. There were nude selfies that women had sent him (including one of a mutual friend we have). I haven't told him yet that I've found these photos....& I really don't know how to. I know his previous relationship with a much older woman was quite intense (sexually) & he's always told me he has a very high sex drive. In our day to day conversations, he'll often bring up about something he's seen in a porn movie, so I've always known that he's watched them previously, but wasn't aware that he still is. Also, some of the photos I found are of his female Facebook friends (mainly just their profile pix). He has told me time & time again that he'll never cheat on me & he does treat me really well (like his princess), but this revelation has really stunned me. I never did find any photos of the 2 of us....I just gave the USB back to him without a word.......

Edited December 4, 2013 by g1gg13z

[FitChick]

I'd only be concerned about current photos sent to him of female friends. You can't change the past. I've never been in this situation but if I were, I'd let the woman know I saw naked photos of her, in case she was trying to tempt my guy. Can't imagine anything more humiliating for another woman than to have the wife or girlfriend see those pix.

 

I wouldn't be surprised if a man had photos of naked women. I would be more surprised if he had photos of naked men.

[g1gg13z]

Interesting. While there's something to be said that he's not actually PHYSICALLY cheating on you (to your knowledge), him accepting and storing photos sent by female friends strikes as odd. I don't blame you for being worried or hurt by that, pornstars are one thing, anonymous selfie nudes of strangers found online are yet another, but personally sent nudes from friends is an entirely different matter. I'd call it a red flag.

 

Ask him about it immediately.

 

The selfies were taken & sent before we met, but at one point he must've had them saved into his phone before he moved them to his usb

[Khyla]

guys love to look at women's bodies. I dont see the problem. Is he cheating on you? Does he frequent stripclubs or webporn?

 

Besides, you dont know that he regularly even looks at these pics. Maybe he just likes showing them off to other guys.

 

ANd since the folder was labeled "mobile", doesnt that mean their original location was his or someone elses cellphone? That coud mean that he was, but now is no longer carrying them around on his phone with him anyway.

 

You should get over it, and be glad you have a guy who appreciates the female form so much.

[g1gg13z]

Wait, how do you know when they were sent? Had he mentioned them previously?

The date "saved" was on the file ~ in 2010. Sorry if I'm not making much sense

[Enema]

Have you ever told him you don't want him to look at porn?

 

How did he respond?

[ThatMan]

The date "saved" was on the file ~ in 2010. Sorry if I'm not making much sense

Jesus some people here are stupid. Don't tell people to get over it...

Sorry, not you g1gg13z, but anyways:

Check the properties of these photos and scroll down 'camera' on the details tab. You'll discover if he took these photos himself with his own cell as I suspect. Bottom line is you know his history and that he deliberately kept those photos after entering a relationship with you. You need to sort through your feelings to decide what's best for you.

[g1gg13z]

Have you ever told him you don't want him to look at porn?

 

How did he respond?

 

According to him, porn has always been "educational".

[BOREDouttaMymind]

same thing happened to me years ago. of coruse I didn't want to believe anything bad, so I just was stupid and listened to him. of course, I found out she cheated on me months later.

 

look girl... ask yourself this.. why is he doing it? just to look at nudies? does that really make sense? no. hes planning on cheating on you. hurts I know. but I went though the pain and in the end.. its worth it. listen to your heart.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Men can view porn in a relationship and it's not cheating. I agree.

 

I don't give a flip about the porn and otherwise that he currently has, that's a different argument and one I generally side with the porn viewer on.

 

The concerning thing here is that he moved the friends' photos over to his phone. I don't know how recently he did this, but in any case, holding on to nudes of friends

 

 

Does somebody need to explain to you just exactly what 'pornography' is???

 

Your statements are, at best, contradictory.

[acrosstheuniverse]

In my eyes, the fact that he's saving porn screenshots is not a problem, not in the slightest. It's wank-fodder. Unless you have an issue with him watching porn (and he knows this) there's nothing to worry about there.

 

But having nude pics of friends that they sent while you were together? Soliciting or accepting/saving those pictures are not the actions of somebody who is committed to you. I can forgive the odd nude pic from an ex that he forgot about and never got round to deleting, but I'm sure he was saying something to these women to get them to send naked photos, how many women would spontaneously send a naked photo of themselves to a taken male friend?

 

You can't not bring this up now you know, even if he gets pissed you snooped. The stuff he's done is a bigger transgression imo.

[Grumpybutfun]

^^^Skuds is right. Professional porn use is one thing but to have nude "selfies" of exes or friends is crossing a boundary. You two need to have a talk about boundaries. I am pretty certain that he wouldn't appreciate you hanging onto nudes of ex-bfs, hook-ups or your male friends for any reason. Once again, this has nothing to do with porn use, but I would mention that you two need to sit down before marriage or a LTR promise and negotiate what is acceptable to you both regarding his/your use of porn. Communication is the key to both of you feeling accepted, respected and valued in a long term relationship.

Time to talk about some serious topics,

Grumps

[jphcbpa]

obviously he is not trying to hide anything from you by freely giving you the usb. perhaps he forgot they were on there. are the photos still on his phone?

[crederer]

Porn? No issue at all.

 

Pics of past girls. Yeah I can see how that'd make you feel jealous but you're over thinking it. As long as it was before your relationship started.

 

I don't know where I have them, but I'm quite confident if I looked hard enough I could find plenty of pics of past girls from prior relationships. It really has nothing to due with any current or future relationships and I wouldn't delete them cause I wouldn't even be thinking about them.

[Khyla]

Porn? No issue at all.

 

Pics of past girls. Yeah I can see how that'd make you feel jealous but you're over thinking it. As long as it was before your relationship started.

 

I don't know where I have them, but I'm quite confident if I looked hard enough I could find plenty of pics of past girls from prior relationships. It really has nothing to due with any current or future relationships and I wouldn't delete them cause I wouldn't even be thinking about them.

 

Totally agree with you, crederer.

[ChessPieceFace]

Porn is a normal weakness of men. He's not right for looking at it behind your back, but he's not a freak either.

 

The nude selfie of a mutual friend? 1000x worse. That's dangerously close to cheating, and I can't conceive of how a guy would do that and be a loyal type of guy.

 

Maybe this story will help. I'm single and I look at porn all the time. It's porn. I use it. One time, my male friend received a nude pic from his GF and he was such a sleaze he insisted on showing it to everyone without her knowledge. I refused to look. He kept insisting. I kept refusing. I told him that's for him, not me. Not quite the same thing, but the point is that porn is porn (fantasy.) When you know them, that's something else.

[fixing]

if I saw naked pictures of my gf's exs on her phone/flash drive/whatever, that would be the end of it for me.

 

 

I don't accept any disrespect

 

This 100%

 

Its highly disrespectful OP. He has nude pictures of women from his facebook on his phone/usb? As in right now? When your are both an item.

 

Confront him and tell him its unacceptable

[Elias33]

Definitely worthy of a talk. And not about the porn...

[Debanked]

Your boyfriend is definitely guilty of an unsecured "spank bank." Talk about loaning the wrong drive!

 

Nudes of female "friends" etc., think most guys would consider that gold. That is fantasy meets reality. I'd wager that the vast majority of guys would consider them save-worthy.

 

I remember a commedian doing a bit about guys hoarding porn as if there's going to be a nuclear haulicost and they, being the sole survivor, will need some proof of what the female body looks like in great detail.

 

That's how guys are wired. Sorry but the female form is beautiful and the variety never gets old.

[tlegend]

Your boyfriend is definitely guilty of an unsecured "spank bank." Talk about loaning the wrong drive!

 

Nudes of female "friends" etc., think most guys would consider that gold. That is fantasy meets reality. I'd wager that the vast majority of guys would consider them save-worthy.

 

I remember a commedian doing a bit about guys hoarding porn as if there's going to be a nuclear haulicost and they, being the sole survivor, will need some proof of what the female body looks like in great detail.

 

That's how guys are wired. Sorry but the female form is beautiful and the variety never gets old.

 

We ARE wired this way. That doesn't excuse the behavior.

 

Also, you need to open a line of communication with this guy. The fact that he gave you the drive with those pics on it, and that you gave it back and he didn't even ask if you saw the photos...makes me believe he doesn't even remember them being on there.

 

In fact, I would go as far to say that he moved those on to a USB stick to save them for a holocaust....but not actually look at them. I'm willing to bet he moved them so that you wouldn't get this exact idea when looking through his phone and finding nudes.

 

If he had given you that usb stick and then acted wierd after you gave it back, then I would hard pressed to give this guy a bye. However, it seems he still has no idea about those pics. Those pics aren't even in his thoughts.

[yankees51988]

He probably even forgot he had nude pics of his friends they sent him. When I get in a relationship the first thing that comes to my mind isn't "Oh crap I need to go delete all the nudies people sent me!", seriously isn't a thought at all. It's just porn, and these people sent them to him before you were together, right? That doesn't mean he is spanking it to them at night. I've gotten quite a few naked pictures from female friends, I kinda just forget they're there. At least he was respectful enough to take them off the phone. I don't think he would have given you the USB drive to use if he even remembered they were on there knowing full on he would likely get caught, just seems stupid to me.

[soccerrprp]

He kept nude pics of past gfs on a usb drive that he could have lost, misplaced, forgotten about. Irresponsible....

 

But, as troubling that alone is, he could have easily forgotten and had no idea that the pics were there. Of course, it tells you about his past exes and him bold enough to keep nude pics of each other. Ugh.

[gabgab]

if I saw naked pictures of my gf's exs on her phone/flash drive/whatever, that would be the end of it for me.

 

 

I don't accept any disrespect

 

Yes but you are a guy and anything involving mistrust and disrespect, women are expected to put up with more because "guys will be guys." No woman can use their biology or nature as an excuse...its a real double standard that exists. Women are supposed to be more sacrificial than men and ignore their egos more than men.

 

I think whether you are a guy or girl, having naked pics of your exes is a dealbreaker, unless they genuinely forgot they were there. Don't think that's the case with the OP's guy...what man would hand his gf a drive with tons of pics of naked exes without thinking "oh wait, I should delete those in case she finds them!" I doubt he "forgot" they were on there.

[ThatMan]

Yes but you are a guy and anything involving mistrust and disrespect, women are expected to put up with more because "guys will be guys." No woman can use their biology or nature as an excuse...its a real double standard that exists. Women are supposed to be more sacrificial than men and ignore their egos more than men.

 

I think whether you are a guy or girl, having naked pics of your exes is a dealbreaker, unless they genuinely forgot they were there. Don't think that's the case with the OP's guy...what man would hand his gf a drive with tons of pics of naked exes without thinking "oh wait, I should delete those in case she finds them!" I doubt he "forgot" they were on there.

Please consider that although people may shill out an excuse, it does NOT mean you have to sit there and agree with them. Biology and nature is a terrible excuse and I hope you can see it for what it is. You should know that nobody is 'supposed' to do anything. You are free to make your own decisions and if you don't want to be sacrificial then more high-fives and power to you.

 

I also think that forgetting images from three years ago isn't out of the realm of possibility. But I would certainly have doubts myself...

Edited December 11, 2013 by ThatMan

[gabgab]

Please consider that although people may shill out an excuse, it does NOT mean you have to sit there and agree with them. Biology and nature is a terrible excuse and I hope you can see it for what it is. You should know that nobody is 'supposed' to do anything. You are free to make your own decisions and if you don't want to be sacrificial then more high-fives and power to you.

 

 

Oh I agree. But the fact that men constantly use "nature" and "biology" in their excuses and women don't shows there is a definite double standard.

 

The US is still a patriarchy and women are held to higher standards behaviorally and character-wise than men. When it comes to shallow, selfish, disrespectful behavior and getting excused for it, men have it better. There are no "nature" or "biology" excuses for women, even though they have a nature and have biological tendencies like men do. There is no phrase that justifies us like "girls will be girls" and "hey shes just being a girl" or "girls will do that"....they don't exist.