amun Posted January 1, 2005 Share Posted January 1, 2005 summed up background info of last 6 years... met at 15.. fell in love right after. semi long distance, her mother didnt like me, my parents(very traditional) didnt like interacial relationship we still tried it, grew up together, homecoming, prom, graduation, first car, first sex partner, college, students, same jobs twice(still same job) broke off three times 1) my fault, i wastn feeling i was ready, i was 20 for god sake.... like a girl at moment, clicked slept together with the new girl, rest is history got back togheter, fed her the " i was immature and wanted to know life" line 2) the girl i clicked with and me remained best friends (not smart) she didnt accept and one day found emails between me and her... not too good.... 3) broke up cause she doesnt trust one word i say... its harder this time cause i got my first full time job, bout to graduate from college, and looking for a career, wanted to settle down with her, my first love.. my only love... i was maturing. she wasnt an angel either, she slept with a guys while we broke up the first time. she has always been over jealous of me, even before cause of her insecurities. i got really fit and healthy and always pushed her too.. think that drove us apart too... but i still love her.... now im just replaying everytime i hurt her, everytime she cried infront of me and im sad. Im having a hard time moving on, i know she is my love.... go ahead insert the over used cliches: "if you loved her you wouldnt have done all that to her" "plenty fish in the sea" "time heals all wounds" "fall, get back up and learn" But i want to lead my life with her, being me now.. know what i know now... am i just feeling like this cause im lonely or is it because i really love her?? she says she wants to be friends.... i want more... should i just not talk to her?? will it make it better for her??? more importatly, what did u guys do?? reading this forum makes me not feel that alone in my personal hell... this has helped.. but im scared of what is gonna happen, her finding someone, sleeping with someone else.... things like that..... how should i look at them and how did u guys do it?? should i be happy that this ended the way it did and not being played out with a bad ending??? are we good people that never worked out?? SHOULD I FIGHT BACK and get my love back?? I know she still loves me, not denial, i just know it.... but if i still love her, should i just leave her alone to heal the wounds and continue later on if thats our "destiny"? Thanks wiseones, ahead of time for ur responses.... Link to post Share on other sites
Carleigh23 Posted January 2, 2005 Share Posted January 2, 2005 Maybe your just needing to be with someone. i know when Im single I have ex's. including my first love that was my first for everything too, that I run back to, and think, huh maybe I shouldnt have screwed around. If you love her you love her you always will. But do you want her back because you love her or because theres no one keeping yoru bed warm? Hey, I know exactly where you comeing from I just split with the guy I was supposed to marry, and im going out of my mind crazy. Have you always been "with someone" or are you okay flying solo? Ill sit here and say give her space, but as i just posted in my sad drama, thats what a hundered ppl told me too, easier said then done. Bottom line, you cant make her love you liek that again. I wish it was that easy. Id have *Chris back. Its the hardest thing to do, let someone go. It sucks, I honestly would rather phycially break something cause you know its going to heal. But a broken heart, it feels like it never goes away. or that its never going to get better. And trust me, it does. Link to post Share on other sites
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