LapoElkann Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 Hi Guys and Girls Ive been a lurker on this forum for a few weeks. Here goes... My ex and i had been together for 9-10 years, without getting into details our pattern was one of breaking up and getting back until the next hammer or shoe would fall. We finally decided to get married after a good period in the relationship. We bought a house got married and right away the problems started. After 11 months of marriage we (she) decided that a divorce was the best solution. I was and still am devasted. I stayed in the house and she left. We have kept contact alive because we are selling the house. Since she left we had sex twice and fooled around a few times. She has a new boyfriend..my mistake i listened to her complain about how cheap,fat.ugly he is....This past friday night, she showed up at my house at 5:30 in the morning, we spoke, she left her bf at her house..we made out..she fell asleep on the couch and since then iam trying to keep my distance. I know why she showed up, iam too avaliable for her to be a crutch. It is wrong yet i melt when i see or talk to her. I dont need advice i just needed to express my situation and how bad i feel. Thank you for reading. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 You two had a unhealthy relationship to begin with. You never learned how to fight for your marriage. When things get tough one of you bolts. It's a bad pattern. You need to learn to stick together to resolve your differences without blowing up your whole relationship over some disagreement. Until you master than skill, this destructive pattern will continue. Link to post Share on other sites
revitup Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 Yup, you know why she is coming over.Don't be that man.Maybe she also wants you to have whatever the nasty fat ugly dude has infected her with? You have to move on mentally from this mess.No matter where it ends up months from now and no matter whether she comes home and becomes the perfect wife. You need to get yourself up and find your balance.I know you melt and then you are a mess later. She will do this as long as it is allowed by you.Do not allow people into your life who use you as a soft landing or a way to avoid their own problems with their new man! No "new" woman who comes into your life (one will one day no matter what you think now) would allow you to have her stop by for a little from time to time and you wouldn't ask her to allow that. She has made this mess on her own and needs to live the life she has created. She is not doing you any favors by allowing you to have sex with her.NONE! REVITUP 2 Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 I dont need advice i just needed to express my situation and how bad i feel. . No, you need lots of advice and you need to be following it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LapoElkann Posted December 5, 2013 Author Share Posted December 5, 2013 Thanks guys you don't know how much your responses mean..truth hurts...the journey of self compassion will take time and the cycle will end...I fought for years holding on to someone who didn't want to be held onto. Link to post Share on other sites
keepontruckin Posted December 5, 2013 Share Posted December 5, 2013 She wanted a divorce. She left. She was unwilling to work things out. You see? Let her become someone else's problem. She's not your problem anymore. And ya, if you cannot resist the poon, better buy a box of rubbers, 'cause you don't really know where she's been spreading her legs around... Divorce and broken relationships are bad enough. The last thing you need now is a gift from her that truly keeps giving... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
revitup Posted December 5, 2013 Share Posted December 5, 2013 She wanted a divorce. She left. She was unwilling to work things out. You see? Let her become someone else's problem. She's not your problem anymore. And ya, if you cannot resist the poon, better buy a box of rubbers, 'cause you don't really know where she's been spreading her legs around... Divorce and broken relationships are bad enough. The last thing you need now is a gift from her that truly keeps giving... Excellent! Should be a T-Shirt.. DO NOT SEEK THE POON!!!!! REVITUP Link to post Share on other sites
Canadiangirl78 Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 Haha! Poon..thats just a funny word! That is all..carry on ? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LapoElkann Posted December 6, 2013 Author Share Posted December 6, 2013 Who still uses Poon!! Lol so 90's love it! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
revitup Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 Who still uses Poon!! Lol so 90's love it! REV is getting pretty close to "using the poon" lol REVITUP Link to post Share on other sites
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