iplaymybassinthesun Posted December 5, 2013 Share Posted December 5, 2013 I've been told I come across as closed off, arrogant, weird, that I have strange interests, that people just don't get me, it takes a long time if ever for me to open up to people, friends included. I've almost never had a dating prospect offline, probably because of the above mentioned pointed out to me. If I'm unable to be open anyway, would online dating be a waste? At the same time as I unintentionally broadcast being closed off, I'm pretty desperate for attention, affection, love, etc. But I feel online dating should be a fun SUPPLEMENT to your regular dating life, not the whole enchillada. Or would therapy be a better option than all of the above? If that's the case, I'd have to figure out how to fund it.. Link to post Share on other sites
Khyla Posted December 5, 2013 Share Posted December 5, 2013 Hi, I find this forum is helpful, in that even if you don't get answers, you are making connection with others. I've only been on here about a week, but I have felt good just reading and responding to others posts. I haven't tried the online dating sites yet. I dont know that I will. I just dont like the way they work. I like it better here. I like forum layouts where you can talk and leave your opinions with several ppl at once. Are you a bass guitar player? Are you in a band? Link to post Share on other sites
Author iplaymybassinthesun Posted December 5, 2013 Author Share Posted December 5, 2013 Yeah I've been a bass player for the last 10 years I'm not currently in a band per se. I have been in the past but they all played to much older crowds with much older music. I really would like to find one. Link to post Share on other sites
Teraskas Posted December 5, 2013 Share Posted December 5, 2013 I wouldn't necessarily say that online dating would be a waste. I'm more or less in the same situation that I can't find dating prospects in real life, but then again come across a few in the online world. So I guess I'm doing something right despite their outcome. What you could do is set up your profile, talk about interests, etc. which you think others might find interesting. Try to talk about as many subjects which you think would appeal to others on online dating sites. Then later on, when you meet up with some and decide to take it a step further you can always divulge your other interests. However, if you're willing to go through with online dating beware that it is not for the faint of heart. The most prevalent issue is no doubt the lack of answers by women, which can often lead to questioning your self-confidence and mental exhaustion. Link to post Share on other sites
Gemini47 Posted December 5, 2013 Share Posted December 5, 2013 I've been told I come across as closed off, arrogant, weird, that I have strange interests, that people just don't get me, it takes a long time if ever for me to open up to people, friends included. I've almost never had a dating prospect offline, probably because of the above mentioned pointed out to me. If I'm unable to be open anyway, would online dating be a waste? At the same time as I unintentionally broadcast being closed off, I'm pretty desperate for attention, affection, love, etc. But I feel online dating should be a fun SUPPLEMENT to your regular dating life, not the whole enchillada. Or would therapy be a better option than all of the above? If that's the case, I'd have to figure out how to fund it.. I don't think it matters what others have labeled you as. I also don't think you need therapy- unless you yourself believe that you do. Some people are just not comfortable socially. I would suggest being as open-minded as possible when meeting new people. If you're talking to a girl (or a guy- I can't tell what your gender is nor does it matter), and she says she really likes cats and has a few of them. Don't give a weird look and say, "Oh wow that's unusual, well, I'm more of a dog person" That would be bad and would make him/her not feel a connecting to you. Instead say, "Oh that's neat I'd love to meet them. I, myself, am more of a dog person but I do like animals." Some of us can be very opinionated and like to show the traits and preferences that make us unique. However, it seems like you're coming across in a way that is turning some people off. Try being open minded and don't put down any peoples interest and try to not inadvertently put up an barriers to future communication. Hope this helps. Also, do you really play your bass in the sun? I've never played my bass or electric outside, although it does sound tempting (although not right now bc it's cold). Do your neighbors hate it?! Link to post Share on other sites
Elliotte Posted December 5, 2013 Share Posted December 5, 2013 If seeming to be that way makes online dating a waste, why does it seem like a huge amount of the people on dating websites are that way? If anything you will definitely find a lot of people with the same personality traits! Link to post Share on other sites
Khyla Posted December 5, 2013 Share Posted December 5, 2013 Here's an idea. somethng really different you might try that I think might actually work for you. Dont just disregard it right off, until you try it. You like to play bass and i assume you're good. Would you have anything against putting up a video of yourself playing it on youtube? (Or maybe you've already done this?) You dont even have to say a word, just play, maybe as accompaniment to a piece you like would be good. I love Bass players! I married one! I love watching them play when they are really into it. I find it arousing, and i don't doubt there are other women who feel the same way. You write a little something about yourself on it too. Don't expect to get a million hits right away, but if you give me the link when it's up, I will watch it and pass it on. make sure you allow/enable comments, and that's a start. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 5, 2013 Share Posted December 5, 2013 You are right, OLD is a great supplement. It's a tool. If you have never tried it, give it a shot. When putting your profile together, don't just slap something up there. Have somebody you know & trust (preferably a member of the opposite sex) help you with it. Put your best self forward but don't distort who you are. Highlight your interests. They are what make you unique. OLD & therapy are not mutually exclusive. How about doing them simultaneously or get some therapy then try. Link to post Share on other sites
Author iplaymybassinthesun Posted December 8, 2013 Author Share Posted December 8, 2013 Okay Khyla I'll give it a try Link to post Share on other sites
Author iplaymybassinthesun Posted December 8, 2013 Author Share Posted December 8, 2013 You're right Elliotte, the numbers don't lie! Link to post Share on other sites
Author iplaymybassinthesun Posted December 8, 2013 Author Share Posted December 8, 2013 gemini 47: lol usually indoors this time of yr but I have played outdoor shows! I must have had that old steve miller band song about playing my music in the sun in my head when I hashed out a screanname lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Khyla Posted December 8, 2013 Share Posted December 8, 2013 gemini 47: lol usually indoors this time of yr but I have played outdoor shows! I must have had that old steve miller band song about playing my music in the sun in my head when I hashed out a screanname lol I'm a joker I'm a smoker I'm a midnight toker I get my lovin' on the run Wooo Wooooo You're the cutest thing That I ever did see I really love your peaches Want to shake your tree Lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey all the time Ooo-eee baby, I'll sure show you a good time Cause I'm a picker I'm a grinner I'm a lover And I'm a sinner I play my music in the sun I knew that's what your name wa about. I love that song! Link to post Share on other sites
Khyla Posted December 8, 2013 Share Posted December 8, 2013 Okay Khyla I'll give it a try Don't forget to give me the link when you get it up! Link to post Share on other sites
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