Phoe Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 I'm currently setting up an account and it feels a bit scary. It's like I'm filling out a resume or a job application. What should I say? What kind of photo should I use? I want to project myself properly, it just seems so clinical! Haha Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 Naw you're an attractive girl. You don't have to do anything, really. Just don't let some sly guy smooth talk you. Usually they're the ones that are good on OLD. And not in real life.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Phoe Posted December 6, 2013 Author Share Posted December 6, 2013 Good grief, I already got complained at that my photos look fake. GTFO dude... Ugh maybe this was a bad idea! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 I have to say, in general OLD is a bad idea....but based on your past posts you seem to have a hard time finding guys.....so maybe OLD will work. Just be prepared for a flood of ridiculous posts. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 Ugh maybe this was a bad idea! This. My advice when it comes to OLD is -- don't do OLD. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 You will meet a huge number of low quality guys. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Phoe Posted December 6, 2013 Author Share Posted December 6, 2013 This is freaking me out lol. I'm going to bed! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 haha yah women meet a high number of low quality guys and guys meet no girls. Funny how that works. I tried OLD briefly, "never again" I said. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 Phoe, all the attention will give you a confidence boost. It will be good for you because you seem to have low self-esteem. Just don't expect to meet the love of your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 I don't think Phoe has low self esteem. She just seems to have bad luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 Phoe! Just post all the pics you have here there, and it's a good thing someone is accusing your pics of being fake. They think you're too hot to be real. It's a compliment. Don't respond to it though or you'll just get trolled harder. How come this is freaking you out so much? Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 I don't think Phoe has low self esteem. She just seems to have bad luck. It think it's a mix of both. She often talks about not feeling that pretty etc. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
antonio1149 Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 You will meet a huge number of low quality guys. No, you won't actually "meet" a huge number of low quality guys. You'll hear from tons of guys, many of whom won't be candidates for whatever reason. You can give each less than a minute of your time before dismissing them, whittling down your huge queue to a handful of promising prospects. A good deal, if you ask me. Any guy would love to have this "problem." 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Pistol pete Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 In my understanding, the fake photo accusation thing is a 'line', they are just trying to get you to engage in conversation by defending yourself. Others will consider it a form of negging, to make them sound all alpha male. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 Recognize that OLD is a tool. It shouldn't be your only method of meeting new people. I'd use at least 2 photos: One that shows your face & one more a full length shot . . . not cheesecake / sexy per se but something that somebody can get a sense of your proportions. Be positive & witty. Negative adds like "I don't want jerks & game players" fail to explain what you do want. If you have any friends in marketing or PR, have them read your profile. You are putting a resume out there. Use a for pay service rather than the free ones if you want something serious. At least you know the guy was invested enough to shell out some bucks. Don't be afraid to message first, especially if you are pretty. Women get more incoming mail then men. Move to at least talking on the phone fairly quickly. An actual meet shouldn't take too long there after. Don't expect he's going to pay. Understand there will be a lot of rejection. Go with your gut. If it feels wrong, you can't take a chance. Guard your privacy: home address etc in the begining. Keep your 1st meeting short & in public. Tell somebody where you are going. My friend & I used to call each other in the middle of the 1st dates so we could fake an emergency if it was really bad & so we could be assured we were safe. I would arrive at the location early & tell the staff I was meeting somebody from on line so could they pay attention. Call me paranoid but I hoped they'd at least be able to give a description to the police if something went wrong. I watch too much Law & Order lol. Understand the profiles don't come down & you aren't exclusive until you both talk about it & agree 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 I'm currently setting up an account and it feels a bit scary. It's like I'm filling out a resume or a job application. What should I say? What kind of photo should I use? I want to project myself properly, it just seems so clinical! Haha Well, you're definitely going to find favorable market conditions... but indeed some of the adjustment shall be to sensing your relative vulnerability right out in front of you, in print. I'm envisioning a flood/overload of applicants/data... and your having no set criteria by which to winnow down even the top couple of layers of various suitors. In all honesty, the cross-section of your Loveshack photos is quite suitable... and as for which to be your main profile picture... if you use your main LS profile photo, then you can reel-in thousands of applicants, perhaps vs. mere hundreds with one or two of your other LS pictures. (but everybody here knows as much) As for what to write... I guess you'd need to show some vulnerability in your words... as that would assure sincerity... but perhaps you should ready yourself to cull through the responses with an iron thumb... (it's easy to choose, from among 4 or 7 responses... but when one has 1400, she just has to reduce the numbers quickly and efficiently) It doesn't do you any good to (say just what you think the audience will want to hear)... but to tailor your written statements to every curve of your personality equates to even more vulnerability "out there"... but, sadly, that vulnerable feeling IS the right one for the scenario. (and I mean "vulnerable" in the sense that it's really you - (and you never thought it would be) rather than 'vulnerable' as in, going down a dark alley) *er, well, forget that last reference to the dark alley LOL Link to post Share on other sites
MsOptimist Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 (edited) I've only done OLD once and had quick success. I don't know if that's highly unusual, but here's what I did: My main profile pic wasn't a closeup of my face, it included my whole body and was more of a scenic pic from a vacation where the background was the main focus. I did this intentionally so that guys could see my whole body (fitness is important to me) and so that they had to look further into my profile to see a closeup of my face. My only other picture was a closeup of my face. What I wrote was short and simple. Guys tend to be direct and have more straight forward thinking. I was honest about the qualities in men that I like and what activities I enjoy doing. I was not negative at all. Positive, straight forward, and simple. I think that guys may look at a long profile and get bored and not read any of it. You may get a lot of messages or winks or whatever is used on the site, but don't get overwhelmed. I had some standards that I went by as far as who I replied to. I didn't respond to any "wink" or a message that only said "hi." If you don't have the balls to say more than that, next. If I was blatantly unattracted to their picture or what they had to say, next. Some guys will literally get all Joey from Friends and "how YOU doin!" Next. My point is that I weeded them out pretty easily and quickly. And don't be afraid to message a guy. I messaged my current serious bf and was straightforward with a "Hi, I think we have a lot of things in common. Let me know if you'd be up for grabbing a beer and/or going for a run." Short and to the point and we spoke on the phone and met very quickly. If he's afraid to talk on the phone, I'd next him. I met one other guy from OLD and he was handsome and a perfect gentleman, we just didn't hit it off quite as well as my bf and I did (it was a fun date though and we laughed a lot). Had I not been interested in my bf I would have given the other guy another date. The main thing is to not take it too seriously. Edited December 6, 2013 by MsOptimist 1 Link to post Share on other sites
deathandtaxes Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 Be honest. Just put a few pictures up. Kill the group photos. If you're using a site that has e-mail filters, like match, put those things to good use. Average women will get bombarded. Above average looking women get blown up. OLD is such a crazy thing. Just have fun!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Phoe Posted December 6, 2013 Author Share Posted December 6, 2013 Well I got 12 messages, 3 of which were from guys I messaged first last night. Not bad! I'll browse through them after work 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 Well I got 12 messages, 3 of which were from guys I messaged first last night. Not bad! I'll browse through them after work More messages than I received ( including replys ) in 3 months and it took you lees than 24 hours. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Phoe Posted December 6, 2013 Author Share Posted December 6, 2013 I'd message you keenly! You're adorable seriously 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 Clear, current head shot and full body shot. Simple! Don't write a detailed description of what you are looking for beyond basics because many men will SAY they have those characteristics, goals, interests but they won't. You don't have to write much at all because men are mostly interested in photos. Perhaps your first sentence should read, "If I am not interested, I will not reply." Saves time and energy. Paid sites are better. I do think this time of year is bad for dating because people can meet others through parties and you avoid the awkward, "We've only just met, do I buy a Christmas present?" Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 You will meet a huge number of low quality guys. For men you will meet a huge number of low quality women. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 I'd message you keenly! You're adorable seriously I would message him too Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 I would message him too Wtf , then what am I doing wrong lol. ( no seriously, I refuse to hijack phoes thread ) Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts