really wanting to move on, but heart won't let me

[smuggy95]

So it has been 3 months since my breakup. She didn't love me romantically, but we were amicable, no fault kind of breakup.

The problem is...in my heart i still think there's a chance. My brain knows there isn't, but stupid stupid heart.

I'm realllllly slow at relationships. I don't fall for people easily (I make friends easily, but that's different), and I'm quite reserved when it comes to relationships (not into dating just for the sake of dating, or casual encounters etc). So she was my first actual relationship- at least in my mind.

Since the breakup I've had several people express interest, but I just don't feel it.

My brain knows my ex didn't love me in that complete way we all deserve in our relationship, but my heart won't accept that.

I can't sleep with someone else because it feels like cheating. I really miss the physical part of the relationship.

I find myself being annoyed at these people who express interest, even though I really ought to be flattered...at least be nicer to these people about it...

I've also kind of lost sight on who I am, find myself wanting to change friends, especially those who had an 'i told you so' attitude after the breakup and weren't really there to support me. But those friends were once really close to me.

I'm worried my mindset will cause me to be lonely- not only do i not have a girlfriend and am rejecting new people, but I've lost respect for some of my old friends as well.

[BOREDouttaMymind]

your heart isn't the problem. its your outlook.

 

your heart is hurting because it WANTS to move on. youre just not ready to, and that conflict of not wanting to and wanting to move on is what the problem is.

 

youre ready to move on, you just don't know it yet.

[evagisele]

I agree with the above poster. However, I also think that, for some folks, it just takes longer to heal and find someone for whom you have that sort of attraction. I'm similar to you in that I'm rather reserved, too, and I don't easily fall for anyone who expresses interest in me. I also get annoyed when a guy expresses interest in my when I've really got my eye on another who seems clueless. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself time to heal, but don't wallow (waaaay easier said than done, I know).