Trying to show more empathy, and stress less about being "right".

[Elliotte]

After spending a lot of time focusing on self-improvement and improving my relationships with others, especially my son and wife, through reading, therapy, and talking with friends one repeating theme I've found is learning to be more empathetic. Being able to listen to others' feelings and express my own without it becoming an argument about right, wrong and what needs to be "fixed", is a skill I am not very good at, but know that in order to improve my life, it is vital.

 

I was raised in a family where emotions were expressed way too quickly and fights were way too frequent. For some reason that still has left me with this idealized idea that being honest and expressing your feelings all the time to everyone is always the best way to go through life. But this has often made things worse!

 

I am curious who has put a lot of work into being more empathetic and expressing yourself more productively while taking others' feelings into account, and avoiding the usually go-nowhere he-said, she-said arguments with family and friends? Any advice? What has worked and what has not, in your experience?

[Mario79]

Hey Eliotte,

 

Empathy as I get it is to walk a mile in my shoes sort of thing. Sometimes it's not possible though, people react differently and sometimes what seems like a big deal to you is not to them. But trying to just imagine the intensity in which someone feels something helps.

 

Being able to listen and understand without prejudice I feel is the best way to go. Something that can be hard. Sometimes people just need to bent.

 

I lost my girl because my emotions got the best of me, I thought I knew empathy and humility. I got schooled on both and still it takes so much restraint to not just react to the first thing you hear.

 

Thats all I have.