8 months and still not over it.. :(

[freebird31]

Its been 8 months since the BU and almost 3 months NC. Idk why but these last 2 weeks have suddenly been so hard I came across an old picture of my ex and i just realized how much i still am so crazy over him. is this normal? I mean I am happy, doing my own thing. working out! focusing on school, and myself. But he still lingers in my mind. Just seeing that picture opened up all these feelings i still have. what do i do? some advice would greatly be appreciated

[robbysurfs]

You feel them and make it through the other side. You will be a better person after the smoke clears...

[freebird31]

UGH. /: i just REALLY hate knowing that I have these feelings still here. Maybe it would be just BEST if he got a new girlfriend. Then i would be over it, and could let go!!!!! Its So hard to be strong ALL THE TIME. Sometimes, i just let the weakness take over and I just give in and reminisce on the memories and good times. When i think about them, it gives me a sort of pleasure. I hate that I do this. But I DO, ive been giving in a lot lately to these "flashbacks" I have.

[skydiveaddict]

But he still lingers in my mind. Just seeing that picture opened up all these feelings i still have. what do i do? some advice would greatly be appreciated

 

Then you live learn to live with it.

[freebird31]

Then you live learn to live with it.

 

I guess. I guess you just have to learn to live with knowing that, that person was only a temporary part of your life. Its a ****ty thing to accept, but yeah pretty much, you just have to deal with it and live with it. Thats what I have been doing. Well, trying to do.

[skydiveaddict]

But he still lingers in my mind. Just seeing that picture opened up all these feelings i still have. what do i do? some advice would greatly be appreciated

 

Then you live learn to live with it. And you charge ahead. I bet you will find someone anyhow.

Edited December 8, 2013 by skydiveaddict

[freebird31]

I have been okay for the last 2 months, i finally started to feel happy again. It wasnt until this last week, the emotions were returning. And i reaally just want to grieve PROPERLY. I want to get all this emotion out of me. I want to think of the past times and i want to think of the times he truly made me happy. i DONT want to erase that from my mind. And I want to just cry it all off! And I just have come to terms that its over and its just done and its so hard and I am still grieving with that loss. I just want to grieve properly. I dont want to push this to the back of my mind. Id rather get THROUGH this than get OVER it, if that makes sense. Even if its been 8 months, i miss him and what we had so much. but i accept its over. Maybe this weakness isnt so bad...its just called grieving?

[mtnbiker3000]

According to my own experience, I'd say there is nothing strange about your timeline. I am almsot a year post BU and 9 months NC and I am still in recovery. It takes as long as it takes... for you. You can't compare your situation to anyone elses. Your recoevery is unique to you. You're doing fine

[freebird31]

According to my own experience, I'd say there is nothing strange about your timeline. I am almsot a year post BU and 9 months NC and I am still in recovery. It takes as long as it takes... for you. You can't compare your situation to anyone elses. Your recoevery is unique to you. You're doing fine

 

Thank you, that means a lot to me. Wow 9 months! Thats amazing. I am only 3 months NC bearly. I just am happy there is PROGRESS, even if its slow progress im okay with that. Im okay with knowing ill be completely fine even if it takes another couple of years, just as long as ill be fine.

[mtnbiker3000]

Thank you, that means a lot to me. Wow 9 months! Thats amazing. I am only 3 months NC bearly. I just am happy there is PROGRESS, even if its slow progress im okay with that. Im okay with knowing ill be completely fine even if it takes another couple of years, just as long as ill be fine.

 

You're past the difficult part which is usually the 2 month mark. Now you will just gain strength and resolve as the weeks and months go by. You're well on your way. Keep it up and never, ever break NC!!

[freebird31]

You're past the difficult part which is usually the 2 month mark. Now you will just gain strength and resolve as the weeks and months go by. You're well on your way. Keep it up and never, ever break NC!!

 

God, you have no idea how much those words mean to me. Thanks, and i wont. Even if i get a random text/call from him. I have to ignore it. At least until im over it and in a better place. Theres no way Id even consider talking to him or breaking NC, its the best for everyone right now.

[freebird31]

You're past the difficult part which is usually the 2 month mark. Now you will just gain strength and resolve as the weeks and months go by. You're well on your way. Keep it up and never, ever break NC!!

 

Also 9 months, thats pretty impressive! Has your ex tried contacting you within those 9 months? My main concern isnt that i will reach out, but that he will. I mean i could easily ignore the text, but thats just such a pain to deal with. I really hope I dont run into him anywhere either. ugh.

[BOREDouttaMymind]

you keep doing what youre doing and youll be fine.

 

its kind of like a scar that keeps getting reopened by a papercut. it hurts, right?

 

OUCHY!

 

that's you. your heart is scarred, and when you see things that remind you, that's the papercut.

 

but yay!... papercuts heal too, riiiight??? right.

 

youll be just fine. youre a super strong girl for making it this far. youll see. a few more months and youll be like, 'oh that guy?.. ya... anyways.. whats on Netflix?'

[skydiveaddict]

Thank you, that means a lot to me. Wow 9 months! ompletely fine even if it takes another couple of years, just as long as ill be fine.

 

I'm on year four. Somethings just never seem to go away.

[freebird31]

you keep doing what youre doing and youll be fine.

 

its kind of like a scar that keeps getting reopened by a papercut. it hurts, right?

 

OUCHY!

 

that's you. your heart is scarred, and when you see things that remind you, that's the papercut.

 

but yay!... papercuts heal too, riiiight??? right.

 

youll be just fine. youre a super strong girl for making it this far. youll see. a few more months and youll be like, 'oh that guy?.. ya... anyways.. whats on Netflix?'

 

THANKS :] i did, i somehow made it this far. Thing is, im NOT concerned that I will be weak enough to contact him. Im just concerned HE will be the one to contact me and I will not be strong enough to handle that. But We will see what happens. He has thing where he just doesnt seem to understand what respecting someone's space means. Its been 3 months NC BUT i just have a hunch, he will be around again. ugh. I just have to be strong enough to ignore him...

[freebird31]

I'm on year four. Somethings just never seem to go away.

 

Year four??? That is so long! Maybe it just takes meeting someone new to really get over someone. Damn, i really really feel for you. But I mean i guess that is normal to grieve over a loss. Just as long as you dont let it control your life.

[mtnbiker3000]

If you're that concerned about him contacting you, then remove the possibility. If you have to, change your number and email. Delete FB, etc. Do whatever you have to do. This is all about survival.

[greenflower]

I'm at 1,5 month post BU, and 2 weeks NC. I still feel so so so bad, crying almost every day.

 

My ex lives so close to my place, and I'm so scared to run into her, or see her, whenever I leave my house. I think about it all the time.

 

I know I have to move on, but I still hope that one day, she will realize I was amazing.

[freebird31]

If you're that concerned about him contacting you, then remove the possibility. If you have to, change your number and email. Delete FB, etc. Do whatever you have to do. This is all about survival.

 

That's really my last resort, to change my number. I already have blocked him on Facebook and I deleted my Instagram bc his posts kept popping up even after I blocked him. I really don't want to change my number. I mean in all honestly I am curious with what he would gave to say if ever reaches out or if he follows through on respecting my space. I'd like to just ignore the call/text if it ever comes....and idk.:/ maybe I haven't let go? Bc I am just still a little curious if he contacts me. NOT bc I want to get back together in the near future. But just to know, instead of being left wondering if he ever did.

[MoveAlong]

I haven't been able to delete her number or even block her fb. I've just been trying to hang in here...slowly removing one thing at a time. I'm pretty bad at getting rid of things.

 

I'm at NC for 6 weeks now, and I actually felt great for two days. Those two days were highly unusual. It was right after 3 weeks of NC. I just felt confident and like my old self. It was actually pretty good. But then...I got a text from her...and as if I drew a go back to go card...I got sent back to the start.

[Simplysimon]

Your relationships are just your first ones so hit you harder. Your young and have little experience of how awful life can be.. You will get over them if you just get someone else....

You know nothing of real heart break until you have been together 25 years then if screws you up...

Enjoy the experience, move on, fall in love again. It's the best..

[LostConfused123]

That's really my last resort, to change my number. I already have blocked him on Facebook and I deleted my Instagram bc his posts kept popping up even after I blocked him. I really don't want to change my number. I mean in all honestly I am curious with what he would gave to say if ever reaches out or if he follows through on respecting my space. I'd like to just ignore the call/text if it ever comes....and idk.:/ maybe I haven't let go? Bc I am just still a little curious if he contacts me. NOT bc I want to get back together in the near future. But just to know, instead of being left wondering if he ever did.

I just blocked my ex on my cell. You can get free apps to do that.

I know you don't want to but I was surprised how much better I felt after blocking him. I know how much you're hurting but it really is a huge relief to block.

 

Best of luck to you!

((hugs))

[Jenny1234]

I'm on year four. Somethings just never seem to go away.

 

I've been there too.... Just keep moving along.....one day it will pass!

 

I'm currently recovering from 3 year relationship ... 7 months out..... Feels horrible ... I think of him all the time.......and now with all these emotions stirring up I keep thinking about all my previous relationships and why they went wrong too..... Emotional mess!

[freebird31]

Your relationships are just your first ones so hit you harder. Your young and have little experience of how awful life can be.. You will get over them if you just get someone else....

You know nothing of real heart break until you have been together 25 years then if screws you up...

Enjoy the experience, move on, fall in love again. It's the best..

 

You are not the first to tell me that young love/heartbreak will pass. Ive heard that from many older peers. I guess later in life when an immense amount of time has passed, it will be just a smart part of my life compared to the bigger scheme of life. But right now, at this very moment, i cannot help but just feel vulnerable to the pain that I still feel. I absolutely HATE that in life, we have to let people go. Its so sad and it makes me angry, especially knowing that this will probably happen again. I HATE IT. if it were up to me, i would remain friends with him. but i know thats not a reasonable decision. I just wish breaking up didnt have to hurt so much. If were not together, OK FINE! But its so unfair to have to live without this person in my life and go cold turkey in order to heal. I wish a friendship after a breakup was possible, but its not, well for me anyway. I am still so attracted to him, even when i just see a picture, i smile and get butterflies, (along with a list of other emotions.) This sucks...

[freebird31]

I haven't been able to delete her number or even block her fb. I've just been trying to hang in here...slowly removing one thing at a time. I'm pretty bad at getting rid of things.

 

I'm at NC for 6 weeks now, and I actually felt great for two days. Those two days were highly unusual. It was right after 3 weeks of NC. I just felt confident and like my old self. It was actually pretty good. But then...I got a text from her...and as if I drew a go back to go card...I got sent back to the start.

 

Did you reply to her text? I know i can easily block his number, and wah-lah! No more texts/calls. But I am curious to know if he does follow through with respecting my space or if he contacts me. Is that so bad to be curious about? I just want to be strong enough to IGNORE the message this time around.