Scared of getting fat again but have NO motivation for exercise and eating healthy :/

[Meadowgreen]

Hi everyone,

 

Ugh, must warn you, you're going to be shaking your heads to the max with me and I thoroughly understand.

 

Basically, my weight has yo-yoed all my life and grazing has always been a problem for me. I was a very lonely, depressed child who was bullied a lot so I comfort ate to get through it. This coping mechanism has followed me into adulthood to the point where I'm sometimes snacking without even realising it. I also hate exercise and have to really get into the mindset to do it.

 

I stand at 5ft 8ins and just after Christmas 2011 I tipped the scales at just over 200lbs. After being tagged in a series of mortifying photos on Facebook ( you know the type - the ones that make you say out loud 'holy **** is that how big I've gotten?!) I made a commitment to lose weight and joined WW. I took some 'before pictures' to refer back to to keep me on track, and swore never to get that big again.

 

The weight started coming off immediately and by April I was about 20lbs away from goal weight. I felt fantastic and had a new lease of life, and because I had been eating healthy for a while I couldn't even imagine going back to my own ways.

 

Well anyway, over the last 2 years I've felt my old bad habits starting to creep in (eating late at night, putting off exercise, grazing, forgetting to count calories etc, comfort and boredom eating.) and my weight is steadily coming back. I'm not at the point where I'm depressed about it but with Christmas on the horizon I knoooooow I'm going to indulge.

 

My problem is this: I know I'm going to hate myself should I get as big as I was, and I also have family members who like to 'fat shame' me when I'm heavy, so common sense would dictate that I get back into that healthy mindset, but no matter how much I try I'm just really struggling! What can I do to get over the excuses and get focused on slimming down again?

 

Do you guys have any tips on how to ease myself back into a healthy lifestyle again? Are any of you going through this lack of motivation as well? I genuinely want to make a lasting change as to how I see food and exercise because I know it's beneficial for me, but I just feel like it's futile because I love my food (too bad it doesn't love me back, haha!)

 

Thanks for reading guys and sorry for moaning - told you it was a very silly post

[AShogunNamedMarcus]

Get everything unhealthy out of your house.

 

Only buy good food. No processed food. You should buy plenty of fruits, veggies, meats, eggs... (apples, bananas, avocados are my favs)

 

If you ever have to pig out, it will be nutritional.

 

Every now and then, treat yourself to a nice dessert. Reward yourself for all the work you've done.

[melell]

I think it absolutely sucks that you feel this way and have to deal with this. I completely sympathize, my sister (beautiful girl) has been up and down over the years as well, and she really has to pay attention or she will gain so easily. It really upsets me because times when she is heavy and it gets away on her it completely shatters her self esteem- she has told me she feels like it is failure hanging over her all the time. She doesn't deserve to feel like that and neither do you.

 

I don't have to do much at all to stay at a healthy weight, but find life hard enough with study, work, relationships etc etc, I don't know how people can do it having to worry about weight gain as well.

 

It sounds like you put a lot of pressure on yourself because you are scared of being that way. I really don't know what would help, I personally am unmotivated to do exercise or eat healthy when I am feeling bad about myself. Maybe there is more to the way you are feeling than just the weight?

[Meadowgreen]

Get everything unhealthy out of your house.

 

Only buy good food. No processed food. You should buy plenty of fruits, veggies, meats, eggs... (apples, bananas, avocados are my favs)

 

If you ever have to pig out, it will be nutritional.

 

Every now and then, treat yourself to a nice dessert. Reward yourself for all the work you've done.

 

That's a very good point. I like to munch on carrot sticks and broccoli so I'll try and do that more often. Treating desserts as more of a reward did help when I was on WW.

 

Do you guys ever find that healthy food is expensive though? I'm on a bit of a budget at the minute so I have to be sparing with veggies and stuff.

[Meadowgreen]

I think it absolutely sucks that you feel this way and have to deal with this. I completely sympathize, my sister (beautiful girl) has been up and down over the years as well, and she really has to pay attention or she will gain so easily. It really upsets me because times when she is heavy and it gets away on her it completely shatters her self esteem- she has told me she feels like it is failure hanging over her all the time. She doesn't deserve to feel like that and neither do you.

 

I don't have to do much at all to stay at a healthy weight, but find life hard enough with study, work, relationships etc etc, I don't know how people can do it having to worry about weight gain as well.

 

It sounds like you put a lot of pressure on yourself because you are scared of being that way. I really don't know what would help, I personally am unmotivated to do exercise or eat healthy when I am feeling bad about myself. Maybe there is more to the way you are feeling than just the weight?

 

Thank you so much for your kind words and understanding. I'm sorry your sister goes through it too and I can definitely relate. Weight gain can really creep up on you (which I know is bizarre because nobody goes to bed and wakes up the next day 50 lbs heavier right?). You just don't see it until you see a photo of yourself or realise you're busting out of your clothes, then it's a whole myriad of crappy feelings / self blame / guilt / loneliness. Luckily your sister has a good and caring sibling like you to make her feel better

 

You're right, I do put pressure on myself. My family can be quite cruel when I'm heavy (my father especially, who often compares me to my thinner, prettier half-sister) so I always know when they're scrutinising what I eat or how my clothes fit on me. It pisses me off because I've achieved a lot in my life and have some great friends and life experiences, yet none of that seems to count, I feel. They probably mean well but it still sucks. I'm trying to get to a place now where I feel good enough about myself where validation from others doesn't really matter. I just want to be healthy for my sake and that of my fiance and our future family.

 

As I said before, food has helped me through some dark times, and I'm trying to adjust my attitude towards it. It's pathetic but I still struggle to throw food away (I think that's down to the whole 'there's starving children in Africa' guilt trip I got as a kid, haha)

 

Thanks again for commenting. LS really is a lovely place

[Meadowgreen]

i lost 300 lbs on a diet

 

Good for you, St Nick, what is your secret? low calorie mince pies? Zumba with Mrs Claus?

[Mario79]

I think I remember seeing in a thread that you spend time at home and remained glued to your bed was it.

 

Spend time outside your house, if you remain indoors your mind may look for something to snack on.

 

Also there are foods that boost metabolism, and some people are more sensitive to them. Green tea, coffee, nuts (no snickers bars). Drink water, like a gallon if you can, water is a diuretic and will maintain your body clean. If possible never drink sodas or fruit juices or anything except water. I know this is impossible though, but it goes a loooong way.

 

There are little things you can do, and the main thing is patience. Cause its a life style really.

[jba10582]

I have been starting to eat much less carbs and almost no sugar based food (and have dropped some weight from this alone)...although my reasons have to do with alkalinity and eating foods to promote higher levels of positive neurochemicals and hormones i.e. DMT, serotonin, melatonin, norepinephrine ect.. but as a consequence it will helps with a diet as well, as I know that toxins are often stored in fat cells which can hurt other areas of how you body/mind functions.

 

As far as weight loss goes, I do a lot of cardio and weight lifting. I want to get started in doing krav maga which I feel will be even more motivating to me because it will develop a skill in addition to the levels of fitness. I have never had any problem with motivation or with going to the gym because I enjoy it. I do know people that are more motivated to do an activity they find more fun an instead do activities like mud runs, or take part in gym classes or extra curricular sports if any of that helps.

[Meadowgreen]

I think I remember seeing in a thread that you spend time at home and remained glued to your bed was it.

 

No that wasn't me, although I am a homebird when I'm not at my job

 

I think you're right though about wanting to snack while I'm indoors. Grazing is definitely a boredom thing for me.

 

I love Green Tea! I always feel much better after drinking it

 

Thanks Mario!

Edited December 10, 2013 by Meadowgreen

[Meadowgreen]

I have been starting to eat much less carbs and almost no sugar based food (and have dropped some weight from this alone)...although my reasons have to do with alkalinity and eating foods to promote higher levels of positive neurochemicals and hormones i.e. DMT, serotonin, melatonin, norepinephrine ect.. but as a consequence it will helps with a diet as well, as I know that toxins are often stored in fat cells which can hurt other areas of how you body/mind functions.

 

As far as weight loss goes, I do a lot of cardio and weight lifting. I want to get started in doing krav maga which I feel will be even more motivating to me because it will develop a skill in addition to the levels of fitness. I have never had any problem with motivation or with going to the gym because I enjoy it. I do know people that are more motivated to do an activity they find more fun an instead do activities like mud runs, or take part in gym classes or extra curricular sports if any of that helps.

 

Ooh see, carbs are my downfall too. Bread, mainly. French bread and humous is pretty much my Achilles heel. I do know what you mean though. I found that when I cut bread out of my diet for 2 weeks I felt slimmer and lighter almost straight away.

 

What is krav maga? I've never heard of it. Keep us posted on how that goes

[Mario79]

No that wasn't me, although I am a homebird when I'm not at my job

 

I think you're right though about wanting to snack while I'm indoors. Grazing is definitely a boredom thing for me.

 

I love Green Tea! I always feel much better after drinking it

 

Thanks Mario!

 

I was sure someone was glued to their bed. Well its good you are not glued there. Never eat sweets before going to bed as well and if possible change the size of your bowl and cups to be much smaller. Sounds weird but we did this at home and barely noticed and it helps.

[Elias33]

A healthy diet doesn't have to cost a lot. Veggies can be pricy so I get canned foods. Make sure you eat often a day (5 times/every 3 to 4 hours) but small meals. You will not have to think about losing out too much.

 

Just make sure you eat until you are satisfied, not until you are full. Include fats and protein so you will feel "full" much longer. Hereby you are eating much more effectively while speeding up the ol' metabolism.

 

If you easily gain weight, drink only water. People tend to forget about what high calorie drinks can do to you. They are the worst (yes, even fruit juices -lots of sugar without the fiber).

 

Good luck, hope it helps.

[AShogunNamedMarcus]

A big change I made years ago, was to stop drinking anything sweet. In the southern US, tea is sweetened with a lot of sugar and people think it's normal. It's really liquid candy. I do not put sweetener or sugar in my tea or coffee anymore. I do not drink much fruit juice ever. I do not drink sodas, or any drink that comes in a bottle or can, with the exception of beer.

 

I love unsweetened coffee and tea now. I like the bitter flavor with hints of natural sweetness. MMMM and dark chocolate... soo good. I make my own using honey, coconut oil, cacao, vanilla. It's very dark and bitter.

 

I am now sick of artificially flavored foods. I hate salted snacks. It's incredible how much food is over-seasoned and we don't even realize it. We just accept these assaults on our taste buds. Then when something is modestly seasoned, we don't appreciate it because we've been desensitized.

 

I recommend weening yourself off of flavor enhancers and sweeteners.

 

Regarding budget, you can buy frozen veggies. Just make sure they aren't frozen into a solid block. That usually means that they have thawed out, melted then re-frozen, affecting quality.

 

Bananas aren't expensive and are plenty sweet when ripe. Bagged apples are cheap. Carrots shouldn't be a problem.

 

edit: multi-grain cheerios are lower in sugar than most cereals but can still satisfy my sweet-tooth.

Edited December 10, 2013 by AShogunNamedMarcus

[pteromom]

My family can be quite cruel when I'm heavy (my father especially, who often compares me to my thinner, prettier half-sister) so I always know when they're scrutinising what I eat or how my clothes fit on me. It pisses me off because I've achieved a lot in my life and have some great friends and life experiences, yet none of that seems to count, I feel.

 

 

Do you think on some sub-conscious level, you may be eating and gaining weight just to spite them? Like "f you, I'll eat if I want to. Your cruelty doesn't control me!"

 

At any rate, they can't be a part of your decision to be healthier. It needs to be for YOU. You deserve to feel good about yourself and to feel strong and fit.

 

One thing I do that is helpful is that if I am craving something bad for me, rather than keeping it in my house, I'll buy a single-serving size at the store. So instead of having a big bag of Doritos in the cabinet, I'll buy a small bag at the grocery store. Or a candy bar vs. having a whole box of cookies.

 

You have to keep the stuff out of your house, or you will eat it. Take that option away from yourself

[pink_sugar]

Hi Meadow! I actually have been slim most of my life, but have yo-yoed the past 6 years ever since moving out on my own. I believe this is mostly due to lifestyle changes and before I am able to adjust, I gain weight. This has mostly been do to securing jobs where food and drinks are constantly in my face and I have difficulties with being disciplined enough to say no or not be tempted. Eventually when I gained 25-30lbs, started not liking the way I looked and getting comments by relatives, I was motivated to get back to where I was. This happened a few times including now. Although I recently only gained 10lbs, I wanted to stop gaining weight before it was 25-30lbs later. I wanted to feel good about myself in my clothes, in pictures and just feel healthy. A good trick is to wear your tightest jeans as a reminder that you want to lose weight so you can fit in them again. Not unrealistically, but just a pair of jeans you fit in before you suddenly gained weight. Look at photos of you when you were at your best and become determined to make it happen. Start watching your portions when you eat and eat in moderation. (Portions and overeating are usually the biggest reasons for weight gain, more so than just lack of exercise and type of foods). Start slowly. It needs to be a lifestyle change. Treat yourself to a treat for dessert, maybe one or two cookies...but that's it. Start exercising for at least 30 minutes a day and try and stick to it. Wearing tighter jeans and seeing photos of yourself should give you some motivation to lose weight. Also remember that you are prone to a lot more health problems for being overweight.

[pink_sugar]

No that wasn't me, although I am a homebird when I'm not at my job

 

I think you're right though about wanting to snack while I'm indoors. Grazing is definitely a boredom thing for me.

 

I love Green Tea! I always feel much better after drinking it

 

Thanks Mario!

 

I have this issue mostly at an 8 hour workday at work. But when I'm off work, I am too busy to be eating.

[Meadowgreen]

Guys, thanks for all the suggestions, it's been really helpful. Since I started this thread I've been getting my arse in gear and working out again, if only to mitigate the 'holiday weight' most of us tend to get when the turkey, choccies and mince pies are brought out.

 

I've lost 2 lbs this week which obviously isn't anything to shout from the rooftops about but I'm happy, and I've realised that all that's needed is momentum to get back in the saddle yknow?

 

I've been glugging water like no one's business too, which has definitely helped with curbing the snacks!

 

Yay!

[jba10582]

It's good to know the postive changes that happen with the motivation to take action and do something you know feels good, and, doing these things in your own ways. Imagine how good you will feel weeks and months down the road with the momentum you have, you may find that it becomes more and more fun to see yourself contining to achieve something as you move closer and closer to those goals each and every day.

[manders_01]

I'm in a very similar boat as you...absolutely no motivation. I've tried multiple things to get myself back in gear but basically all for not. I do many of the previous suggestions in this post and it's mostly for not. While I haven't put back on all my weight (272 down to 162), I'm back at 205 right now which I don't like (nor do my clothes ).

 

I vowed the last time I crept back up into the 200s that I wouldn't return but here I am. I do a lot of emotional eating and I've been very bad at it the past one to two months. I can see how that will drop off moving forward, especially with me being more cognizant of where I am and where I want to be, but even that's no motivation for me.

 

I have yet to achieve the motivation I had when I dropped my weight initially. I know that it's a head thing for me but can't seem to get back to where I was. The real downfall of this is that I hate working out. With no motivation, even with a monthly gym membership fee, working out has been nonexistent in the past few months. I prefer to workout via walks and hikes but with the weather growing chilly, that's also caused the workout drop off.

 

I can't offer advice on how to achieve the motivation needed but I can certainly tell you that you are not alone. I guess we all just need to keep plugging along!