People dumping their partners completely out of the blue..

[mtnbiker3000]

Were you frustrated at any point with her and wanted to end it but decided to stick it out? What really angered me was after she broke up with me she told me "you should have broken up with me months ago instead of letting me string you along."

 

Yes. But I loved and cared deeply for this person. Breaking up just wasn't an option for me at the time. What a moron

[LostConfused123]

were you frustrated at any point with her and wanted to end it but decided to stick it out? What really angered me was after she broke up with me she told me "you should have broken up with me months ago instead of letting me string you along."

wow!!!!

[LostConfused123]

Was she a narcissist?

You know, looking back (not to thread jack) but. . . . . .

 

 

As soon as I quit stroking his ego. . . I mean, it was always HIS job, HIS day, HIS being "chased by women" HIS everything!!!!!!

 

 

SON OF A B!TCH!!!!!!!

[mtnbiker3000]

Ex gf and I of almost 3 years went to the Texas State Fair 2 days before we broke up.

 

Abrupt breakups are the worst.

 

LOL!!! My ex and I were at the county fair days before breaking up and also had a great time. I just don't get it!!

 

TBH - I have been a dumper and done the same things my ex did. The BIG difference is that those relationships only lasted weeks or months. I would never treat someone I have spent years with, lived with and been engaged to like that... Don't know if that makes sense or not?? I guess what I'm saying is that when I know I want out, I don't prolong it...

[mtnbiker3000]

You know, looking back (not to thread jack) but. . . . . .

 

 

As soon as I quit stroking his ego. . . I mean, it was always HIS job, HIS day, HIS being "chased by women" HIS everything!!!!!!

 

 

SON OF A B!TCH!!!!!!!

 

Careful. It's easy to label an ex but not always entirely accurate. I guess if it helps with your recovery, than who cares??

[Haydn]

Easy lost. Keep pushing forward.

 

You know, looking back (not to thread jack) but. . . . . .

 

 

As soon as I quit stroking his ego. . . I mean, it was always HIS job, HIS day, HIS being "chased by women" HIS everything!!!!!!

 

 

SON OF A B!TCH!!!!!!!

[LostConfused123]

Careful. It's easy to label an ex but not always entirely accurate. I guess if it helps with your recovery, than who cares??

yeah, just "kicking it around" I don't know for sure. . . and never will.. . . .It doesn't even matter.

 

 

I'm just getting REALLY furious with myself for ignoring my needs and putting his first (which, looking back he loved, who wouldn't) When I finally "grew a pair" for lack of a better word. . . . Out the door he went!!!!

 

 

It's my fault. I thought for sure when I became angry it would be directed toward him, I now realize he treated me that way because I allowed it.

 

 

ACKKKK!!!!!

[organizedchaos]

Right now I'm just sad. I feel like he threw away something so great and what a shame that is.

 

 

I have yet . . . . YET to get to the anger stage. I know it's right around the corner and I'm actually looking forward to it (a little scared too because I know it's going to come on strong) but anything is better than being sad.

 

 

I can't wait to knock him off this BS pedestal that I have him on in my mind.

 

 

 

The only thing you can count on, and it's what I do, is that they will always be comparing any new partner to you. If you treated them well, it will be something hard for someone else to live up to. Maybe not now, but down the line, they will begin to see what they gave up on, and might second guess their decision. Or maybe not. But just know that you are not to blame for this.

[mtnbiker3000]

I'm just getting REALLY furious with myself for ignoring my needs and putting his first (which, looking back he loved, who wouldn't) When I finally "grew a pair" for lack of a better word. . . . Out the door he went!!!!

 

Now you're thought process is where mine is. Time to look at yourself and the reasons why you do things. Why you allow things. I believe this is the ticket to making lasting changes and breaking poor cycles. Nice work!!!

[LostConfused123]

Now you're thought process is where mine is. Time to look at yourself and the reasons why you do things. Why you allow things. I believe this is the ticket to making lasting changes and breaking poor cycles. Nice work!!!

Honestly, I couldn't have come to that realization without the support I have found here. Thanks guys!!

 

 

It feels MUCH better to be mad at myself than to feel sorry for myself.

 

 

Now, hopefully FORGIVING myself will be next.

UGH! exhausting....LOL!!!

[LostConfused123]

The only thing you can count on, and it's what I do, is that they will always be comparing any new partner to you. If you treated them well, it will be something hard for someone else to live up to. Maybe not now, but down the line, they will begin to see what they gave up on, and might second guess their decision. Or maybe not. But just know that you are not to blame for this.

That made me feel much better! Thanks!

YOU ROCK!

[mtnbiker3000]

The only thing you can count on, and it's what I do, is that they will always be comparing any new partner to you. If you treated them well, it will be something hard for someone else to live up to. Maybe not now, but down the line, they will begin to see what they gave up on, and might second guess their decision. Or maybe not. But just know that you are not to blame for this.

 

I have tried this myself, and deep down I know it to be true. But my ex villainized me pretty bad at the end. All she could pinpoint was the negatives and completely ignored the tons and tons of positives I brought to her and the RS. Nope just the sporadic mistakes and things I did poorly. So, yeah... I don't think she looks back at me with much positivity Too bad, because I would have given up my left nut for this girl

[ponchsox]

Now you're thought process is where mine is. Time to look at yourself and the reasons why you do things. Why you allow things. I believe this is the ticket to making lasting changes and breaking poor cycles. Nice work!!!

 

Yep, that was the mistake I made. Never again!

[AnyaNova]

I have tried this myself, and deep down I know it to be true. But my ex villainized me pretty bad at the end. All she could pinpoint was the negatives and completely ignored the tons and tons of positives I brought to her and the RS. Nope just the sporadic mistakes and things I did poorly. So, yeah... I don't think she looks back at me with much positivity Too bad, because I would have given up my left nut for this girl

 

You know, though, sometimes I wonder if my ex doesn't think this about me sometimes.

 

I feel bad about it now, and I know that I tried to correct the impression, but somehow, right after the breakup (not the final end in September), I had this horrible reflexive need for it not to be, "my fault."

 

I remember sitting outside of the home of the people a friend of mine had just introduced me to for game night, and I had called him and I just remember crying and telling him all the things that I had a problem with in the relationship.

 

Later on, I was able to talk with him and make sure he understood that I understood my own part in the whole thing as well, but the longer time goes on and we haven't seen or spoken to each other, I wonder if he forgets. If he remembers that conversation and some of the others recede.

 

I am sorry about the woman who didn't appreciate you!

 

I am contemplating the idea. You can't quite call it "romantic" but it certainly has shock value. I could just see it on a dating profile. 30 Year old (sorry MB'er, don't know your actual age, so throwing one out there) Male. Will give up left nut for the right woman.

[mtnbiker3000]

I am contemplating the idea. You can't quite call it "romantic" but it certainly has shock value. I could just see it on a dating profile. 30 Year old (sorry MB'er, don't know your actual age, so throwing one out there) Male. Will give up left nut for the right woman.

 

HAHAHAHAHAHA!! That was hilarious!!

 

And, 30 was a while ago for me, although sometimes I feel that's about where I am emotionally and mentally right now. 42...

[lil hoodlum]

My ex and I were together for 4.5 years. Never fought, respected each other, complimented each other very well, helped raised her daughter. A week before she walked away without ever looking back, she told me that I was the perfect boyfriend, that I deserved somebody better than her, and that she was holding me back. I was floored and couldn't understand where this was coming from. Told her no that I wasn't perfect and that I was a human and made mistakes like everyone else does.

 

Break up was nearly 1.5 years ago. She said she wanted a "break" and all she ever told me that she wasn't sure how she felt about me anymore and that she was confused. She has been nearly cold-hearted ever since. Ignores me, never took ownership of her part of the BU, never apologized, and nearly 1.5 years later I still don't know why she walked away.

 

And no, my heart is still not healed. This has easily been the worst time of my life. Still don't understand how some people can be so cold hearted.

 

Walking away like that is a very cold, cowardly, and cruel way to break up with someone.

[Jord11]

I know what you're going through! we we're together for 8 months, we had a great christmas went to her place with her family everything was amazing, my birthday is on the 11th of January, she took me out and bought me a $200 gift card told me she loved me well a week later I wanted to see her and she wanted to make more time with her friends, that night she told me she didn't love me anymore over her iPad that I bought her for christmas that's it, I don't love you anymore and left! It's been 8 months no contact not one word, I think she is dating a guy friend now, she used to talk to him all the time when we dated it hurts and still does, how could someone do that, to be so cold hearted, when you give them everything to make them happy, how could they ?

[aelvidge]

My ex dumped me the DAY we got back from a 11 day holiday to Mexico! Totally out of the blue....

[KelC411]

Yep! The wooooorrsssssttt. A couple weeks before my ex left me for another woman we had a conversation about books we would read to our kids. Looking back I think what happened was that I had been stressed/depressed for a month or so (stuff external to the relationship) and despite the fact that I supporte him through a bunch of stressful times, he couldnt handle things not being all shiny and happy and about him. He acted super supportive,but apparently was getting an ego boost on the side.

[mtnbiker3000]

Yep! The wooooorrsssssttt. A couple weeks before my ex left me for another woman we had a conversation about books we would read to our kids. Looking back I think what happened was that I had been stressed/depressed for a month or so (stuff external to the relationship) and despite the fact that I supporte him through a bunch of stressful times, he couldnt handle things not being all shiny and happy and about him. He acted super supportive,but apparently was getting an ego boost on the side.

 

I've done this to. Played the 'if only I...' game. But in reality, it probably had very little to do with anything you did or didn't do. This was most likeley all him and nothing to do with you. So don't worry too much about what you should've, could've or would've...

[feelingtorn]

A hard lesson learned. Some people lie when they say they love you.

[ponchsox]

A hard lesson learned. Some people lie when they say they love you.

 

Very true. Some people say it because it's what you want to hear, not that they truly mean it. My ex never said it with any conviction.

[polynomial]

Very true. Some people say it because it's what you want to hear, not that they truly mean it. My ex never said it with any conviction.

 

mine said he loved me more than anything in this world... so much of that then..

[BC1980]

My ex told me I was the best thing that ever happened to him a few days before he dumped me. Even on the day he broke up with me, he was texting me that he loved me. We had already booked a hotel for a trip. WTF?

 

He was also the one to pursue me. 3 months after we started dating, he was talking marriage. Again, WTF?

 

I actually think you need to be wary of people who come on this strong in the beginning. I'm not saying it can't work in the long run, but I'm going to be more aware next time once the red flags start flying.

[polynomial]

My ex told me I was the best thing that ever happened to him a few days before he dumped me. Even on the day he broke up with me, he was texting me that he loved me. We had already booked a hotel for a trip. WTF?

 

He was also the one to pursue me. 3 months after we started dating, he was talking marriage. Again, WTF?

 

I actually think you need to be wary of people who come on this strong in the beginning. I'm not saying it can't work in the long run, but I'm going to be more aware next time once the red flags start flying.

 

I'm thinking. Even when people say they were dumped completely out of the blue, did they really REALLY saw NO signs or red flags before? Really, NOTHING? I just cannot believe people can be SO cold. It's really scary.