Is friendzoning that bad?

[Teraskas]

As mentioned before, it depends.

When I'm looking for something serious which leads to a potential relationship (i.e. the past 1.5 years of my life. ), then yes it's annoying.

It also annoys me while I'm 'dating' the person that I have to do ALL the initiating, ALL the asking of questions, ALL the setting up dates, ALL the reminder texts, etc. Only to be let down with the heart rending sentences alone the lines of 'I don't look at you that way, you're like a brother to me, or them going utterly silent and going off the grid.'

 

Conversely, I have no issues being friendzoned by someone who already has a boyfriend, or someone whom I have no feelings to.

However, there was this one time that I met up with someone from a dating site, and she disclosed that she recently (4 months) got out of a relationship.

She kept evading the question of being open to a relationship, even when I asked her directly. She said she'd only see me as a friend and nothing more.

At that time, I was a friend to her but she didn't feel like disclosing ANYTHING about her personal life. 'Oh sorry, but I've got my other friends for that.' Well, then what DO you want with me ? Seriously I wish women could just be straight up and honest. If you've recently gotten out of a relationship and you're on a DATING SITE whilst not having a clue what you're doing there, then stop wasting other's time who actually ARE looking for something serious.

This way I wouldn't unnecessarily waste time on someone who clearly is not interested.

Although, I have yet to see the day when a woman takes the initiative.

If that day comes, I will literally bow to her. ^^

Edited December 10, 2013 by Teraskas

[SincereOnlineGuy]

I find that when I am talking to guys, if they initiate it, they are usually looking for more. I am personally not looking for more, so it makes for a weird situation.

 

There are people that I really like, get on well with, and would be pleased to have them as a friend or someone to talk to. I want to be friends with them, but it almost feels (even if they don't specifically say so) that it has to be a relationship or nothing.

 

 

ROFL - what is "weird" about this?

 

it is the only way guys work. We'd all be on Pinterest with you were it any other way.

 

Outside of coworkers, neighbors, family connections... men have zero interest in being mere 'friends' with women when those men wouldn't rather be in the pants of said women.

 

The stuff you pin on Pinterest - you don't see guys doing, or taking interest in most of that stuff.

 

Alrighty then...

 

 

For more info, visit laddertheory dot calm <I need a 'wink' button so you know I really know how to say dot com instead of dot calm>

Edited December 11, 2013 by SincereOnlineGuy
laddertheory dot com

[somedude81]

Being friendzoned is like when when you really need a job and have been unemployed for a long time, and then a great company takes interest in you, but tells you that you can work for them, without getting paid and zero chance of it happening in the future.

[Eggplant]

But if the guy doesn't outright say, "I want to date you," then you cannot outright turn him down. That would be arrogant to just assume somebody was interested and then on top of that to reject him who didn't even ask you out. Men: if you want more, tell the woman what you're about. Then she can politely tell you what she's about, and problem solved. No ambiguous friendzone. She's beating around the bush, but so are you.

[joystickd]

But if the guy doesn't outright say, "I want to date you," then you cannot outright turn him down. That would be arrogant to just assume somebody was interested and then on top of that to reject him who didn't even ask you out. Men: if you want more, tell the woman what you're about. Then she can politely tell you what she's about, and problem solved. No ambiguous friendzone. She's beating around the bush, but so are you.

A man can be direct and still get friendzoned. Women love being ambiguous because it keeps them from having to be the bad guy.

[Targetlock]

aah, the friend zone, it seems my whole life has been in the friend zone so to speak.

[Eggplant]

A man can be direct and still get friendzoned. Women love being ambiguous because it keeps them from having to be the bad guy.

It's true. Being the bad guy sucks. I've had to turn down guys before, and I always feel like a jerk.

 

Also, in some cases, the woman may be undecided about her feelings.

[joystickd]

It's true. Being the bad guy sucks. I've had to turn down guys before, and I always feel like a jerk.

 

Also, in some cases, the woman may be undecided about her feelings.

Undecided lol. People know what they want. Even if you are undecided you have a responsibility to be direct with someone. It's best if you are undecided to just say no to that person. That way you won't be wasting each other's time

[trevzilla]

if it was laid out that it was because the timing wasn't right in her life and there was potential in the future, I'd hang in there. Sadly, I never find women to be that specific.

 

I just posted about something similar and it seems to be going down the tubes already. She hasn't contacted me in a week and I refuse to do the pursuing just to get thrown some crumbs once in a while; she knows I'm attracted to her and we've hung out a couple of times since I told her. For me it's easier to have no contact with someone I'm attracted to than to keep spending time with them. It's like picking at a wound. I'd be pretty bummed out to watch a women I really liked and invested months with to start dating some other man.

 

It seems I can only be friends with a woman I'm not attracted to. I suppose that's why women like gay friends, that's all they'll ever be. I want a friend and a lover.

Edited December 17, 2013 by trevzilla