Not sure ?

[Daisy2013]

: I want to leave, but I don't know if that will happen and I don't want to make promises that I can't keep.'

 

He's telling you in his way he can't or won't leave. I heard these words for 2 years before he finally admitted it and asked if I could handle our relationship for what it was. Regardless of whether he loves you. Mine loved me, it wasn't enough. Believe what he is saying, listen. It's hard and it hurts, but for your own sake, move on.

[experiencethedevine]

Offered to leave him? Do him a big favour? I agree, seems like you're trying to manipulate him and I am telling you now, it will not work. He is LYING to you, can you see this? Take a step back and take the blinders off, see without rose coloured glasses... Really if he wanted to leave his wife, he would have when she found out about the affair. Look where he is now, at home. He has lied and betrayed his wife so don't fool yourself into thinking he would never lie or bend the truth or omit truths from you. Give that some thought.

Stop making him such a priority! He isn't making you one, so stop being so considerate of his feelings all the time.

 

 

 

 

As age old as this is, it is the truth. If the married man really was in such an awful position, when the chips were down, he would have left his 'rotten' marriage to be with you, no?

[flipatable]

It's so difficult. Because although he keeps saying that he can't promise anything, he also says it's highly likely that he'll leave.

 

I can't expect him to leave though if I haven't yet either.

 

But I'm still feeling that I should just walk away. Why didn't he leave when he got caught?

 

And something Snipeercat said is sticking with me: only he can honor his promises. And only he can know if he'll leave., that's telling me it isn't happening,

 

I just am finding it so hard to cut ties.

[Popsicle]

I'll save you the guess work: no, he won't leave. And I'm serious.

 

Get on with your life.

[Snipercatt]

Because although he keeps saying that he can't promise anything, he also says it's highly likely that he'll leave.

 

IF he were leaving he could promise. He can't promis because he isn't leaving.

 

I can't expect him to leave though if I haven't yet either.

 

Excuse me? What does one have to do with the other? You are leaving your M for your reasons, and not because of him, right? Be honest here, because if you are leaving for HIM then you have a recipe for disaster. He should be leaving his M for reasons particular to him, and them, not you.

 

Of course you find it hard to cut ties. That's why it is recommended not to develop ties until you are free to do so. When you are out of your marriage this man may appear as a whole different creature to you. You only know him while he's in his marriage. And were he to leave his marriage he might appear different again. Our circumstances can alter who we appear to be.