Top Reasons Women Leave Men?

[M30USA]

I'm going to list several reasons why wives might leave their husbands. If you are a woman, please rank these 7 reasons in order from MOST significant to LEAST significant in your mind:

 

Unemployed (or not working)

Emotionally unavailable

Infidelity

Physically abusive

Verbally abusive

Erectile dysfunction

Lack of spark/chemistry

 

Thanks for feedback!

Edited December 10, 2013 by M30USA

[gabgab]

I'm going to list several reasons why wives might leave their husbands. If you are a woman, please rank these 7 reasons in order from MOST significant to LEAST significant in your mind:

 

Unemployed (or not working)

Infidelity

Emotionally unavailable

Physically abusive

Verbally abusive

Erectile dysfunction

Lack of spark/chemistry

 

Thanks for feedback!

 

Physically abusive

Infidelity

Verbally abusive and Emotionally unavailable are tied for third

Lack of spark/chemistry

ED

Unemployed

 

 

Notes:

first 2 are absolute dealbreakers. I am black and white with those issues.

 

 

Unemployed means he is looking for work or has a reason why hes not (medical issues)

ED means he is willing to seek medical treatment

Emotional unavailable means to me a significant amount of time of emotional neglect

Lack of spark is assuming spark was once there

[M30USA]

Unemployed means he is looking for work or has a reason why hes not (medical issues)

ED means he is willing to seek medical treatment

Emotional unavailable means to me a significant amount of time of emotional neglect

Lack of spark is assuming spark was once there

 

 

Let's assume, for the sake of argument, the following:

 

 

-He is unemployed by choice due to laziness and refuses to change

-His ED is not responding well to medical treatment

-His emotional unavailability went on for months and he's not working at it

-The lack of spark is no longer a concern of his and he won't change

 

 

I guess what I'm asking is for you to rank these ASSUMING they are finalities (ie, they won't change). That's the idea of this thread.

[ThatsJustHowIRoll]

Let's assume, for the sake of argument, the following:

 

 

-He is unemployed by choice due to laziness and refuses to change

-His ED is not responding well to medical treatment

-His emotional unavailability went on for months and he's not working at it

-The lack of spark is no longer a concern of his and he won't change

 

 

I guess what I'm asking is for you to rank these ASSUMING they are finalities (ie, they won't change). That's the idea of this thread.

 

If this is the case,t hen Im not leaving because he is unemployed or has erectile dysfunction. Im leaving because there is a problem in the marriage which he refuses to work on.

 

Usually you find a separation or divorce is the result of a number of factors creating a dysfunctional situation that cannot be tolerated, so I find the question a bit difficult to answer, to be honest. They dont happen in a vacuum.

 

Many of these happen in concurrently (eg verbal abuse goes with physical abuse)

 

I guess the only real answer I have for you is Physical abuse and infidelity are deal breakers for me. But even that isn't black and white for me as I have been pushed by my husband on one occasion and I'm still here.

 

Too hard to answer. Sorry OP.

[M30USA]

If this is the case,t hen Im not leaving because he is unemployed or has erectile dysfunction. Im leaving because there is a problem in the marriage which he refuses to work on.

 

Usually you find a separation or divorce is the result of a number of factors creating a dysfunctional situation that cannot be tolerated, so I find the question a bit difficult to answer, to be honest. They dont happen in a vacuum.

 

Many of these happen in concurrently (eg verbal abuse goes with physical abuse)

 

I guess the only real answer I have for you is Physical abuse and infidelity are deal breakers for me. But even that isn't black and white for me as I have been pushed by my husband on one occasion and I'm still here.

 

Too hard to answer. Sorry OP.

 

 

 

I think you've answered it adequately. You've made your point. Thanks for the feedback.

[aussietigerwolf]

physical/verbal abuse

cheating

[NYWoman]

Try cheap and married to his job.

 

That was my second husband. We both had great jobs. His hourly and commission. He hardly ever went on vacation with me and the kids, would pass up and lose his vacation pay as he might miss a commission.

 

It seems his life goal is to be the richest guy in the cemetery

[cozycottagelg]

I'm going to list several reasons why wives might leave their husbands. If you are a woman, please rank these 7 reasons in order from MOST significant to LEAST significant in your mind:

 

Unemployed (or not working)

Emotionally unavailable

Infidelity

Physically abusive

Verbally abusive

Erectile dysfunction

Lack of spark/chemistry

 

Thanks for feedback!

 

None of these reasons. My husband can say mean things when he is drunk, but I wouldn't technically call it verbal abuse.

 

The lack of spark, lately, sure.

 

I want to leave my husband because he is selfish. So very selfish. It is really hard to live with a person who puts himself first, always.

[littlejaz]

Physical abuse-Infidelity

Verbal abuse - unemployed

Emotionally unavailable - lack of spark

 

 

ED would not be a reason for me to leave as long as it was medical problem and not responding to treatment. That falls under in sickness and in health.

 

The first two are absolute deal breakers, no one should live with those. The other 4 are a matter of degree. I have been through all of these except for the physical abuse and put up with some of them for quite a few years but when you added the infidelity and the pissing away a good job and not getting another job - then I was done.

 

I would think the same would hold true for why men leave their wives.

[Iguanna]

I'm going to list several reasons why wives might leave their husbands. If you are a woman, please rank these 7 reasons in order from MOST significant to LEAST significant in your mind:

 

Unemployed (or not working)

Emotionally unavailable

Infidelity

Physically abusive

Verbally abusive

Erectile dysfunction

Lack of spark/chemistry

 

Thanks for feedback!

 

 

1. Emotionally unavailable
   
2. Physically abusive
   
3. Verbally abusive
   
4. Unemployed (or not working)
   
5. Infidelity
   
6. Lack of spark/chemistry
   
7. Erectile dysfunction
   

 

1. The most important thing for me is if he can't feel me, if we can't connect emotionally, if I can't talk to him about my dreams, my thoughts, my worries and if he doesn't want to talk about these things as well.

 

2, 3. Physically and verbally abusive are really important and vital as well. I wouldn't want to spend my life with him if he were one of these.

 

4. If he wasn't working cause he is lazy, this means he can't support a family, which is bad cause this is what I want from a man. If he has some difficulties finding a job while searching, I would of course support him and stay with him.

 

5. I am pretty sure I can also forgive infidelity if he convinces me it was an one time thing and if I can feel he still loves me and he has regretted it.

 

6. I think I would be able to live without spark, after all all couples lose this spark after some months or years. Not a deal breaker.

 

7. I would also survive without sex if he was a good husband and father in the future. I don't consider it that much important, given that he had done some efforts to solve this issue but he couldn't for some reason.

[notbroken]

Those may all be valid reasons, but isn't it possible that the number one reason is something else? Those reasons all put the 'blame' on their partner. Couldn't it be something from within? Like they are bored and want something more out of life. They sense there is something better out there and all of a sudden nothing their husband can do is right? They 'fell out of love' or the dreaded "I love you but am not in love with you?".

 

Often people look for reasons outside of themselves. The real reason might be alot closer to home.

[Confusion_Reigns]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT]This is the way I ranked these:

 

1. Physically abusive - Check
   
2. Verbally abusive - Check
   
3. Emotionally unavailable - Check
   
4. Infidelity - Check
   
5. Lack of spark/chemistry - For some reason I still love him and am still physically attracted to him.
   
6. Erectile dysfunction - No problem there. I think that if the first four weren't an issue then this would be an issue for me if this was present.
   
7. Unemployed (or not working) - No problem there either. There are many-many ways to contribute to the family in other ways than with a conventional job. As long as he's contributing to the overall house hold then there's no worries (or not many worries anyway).
   

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT]

[pteromom]

I'm going to list several reasons why wives might leave their husbands. If you are a woman, please rank these 7 reasons in order from MOST significant to LEAST significant in your mind:

 

My list:

 

Physically abusive - never acceptable!

Verbally abusive - not acceptable!

Infidelity - not acceptable!

Unemployed (or not working) - only if it's an ongoing problem, not just laid off or between jobs

Emotionally unavailable - I'm independent so this one isn't a big deal for me

Erectile dysfunction - this can be worked around

Lack of spark/chemistry - comes and goes naturally in a long-term relationship

[melodymatters]

My list :

 

Infidelity - we are no longer married in my mind if this occurs, no ifs ands or buts, get out immediately or I may kill you and try to make it look like self defense.

 

Physically abusive - Read the above

 

Emotionally unavailable - Whats the damn point of being IN a relationship then ?

 

Verbally abusive - I can dish it and take it, but if it become a habit, again, whats the point ? To feel like crap around the person you are supposed to be closest to ?

 

Lack of spark, ED and unemployment I consider all things that MAY happen if you are married long enough and I would do my level best to at least help us improve as a couple in these areas.

[M30USA]

These are all insightful responses. Thanks and keep them coming!

[30andsad]

Unemployed (or not working)

Emotionally unavailable

Infidelity

Physically abusive

Verbally abusive

Erectile dysfunction

Lack of spark/chemistry

 

I did none of this and was still left, so you never really know. She was confused on "who she was" and "losing herself in the relationship" as well as upset that I didn't want to go out with her friends regularly though I had no problem with hanging out as a group a few times a month and her seeing them regularly.

 

Anyway, I could have been more romantic, yes; I could have gone out a little more, yes, but we still had good chemistry, I was very emotionally available, loyal to a tee, have a great job and make good money, not physically abusive ever or ever yelled at her or verbally abusive and, yet, still here I am after 4 years.

[M30USA]

Unemployed (or not working)

Emotionally unavailable

Infidelity

Physically abusive

Verbally abusive

Erectile dysfunction

Lack of spark/chemistry

 

I did none of this and was still left, so you never really know. She was confused on "who she was" and "losing herself in the relationship" as well as upset that I didn't want to go out with her friends regularly though I had no problem with hanging out as a group a few times a month and her seeing them regularly.

 

Anyway, I could have been more romantic, yes; I could have gone out a little more, yes, but we still had good chemistry, I was very emotionally available, loyal to a tee, have a great job and make good money, not physically abusive ever or ever yelled at her or verbally abusive and, yet, still here I am after 4 years.

 

This shows why PERCEPTION is a key factor. You might have been a pretty good husband but if your ex believed that you didn't meet certain criteria of hers, then you are a "bad husband".

[Shocked Suzie]

This shows why PERCEPTION is a key factor. You might have been a pretty good husband but if your ex believed that you didn't meet certain criteria of hers, then you are a "bad husband".

 

Think you'd find that those that walk away from people that treat them with love and respect have many inner 'unresolved' issues. Yes marriages/relationships breakdown from a lack of something but it takes a certain type of person to just give up, not highlight and work on a relationship before bailing.

[Janesays]

Unemployed (or not working)--- Does he want to stay home and take care of the kids full time? Then, score! Let's find a way to make that happen!

 

Emotionally unavailable --- Dealbreaker

Infidelity--- Dealbreaker

Physically abusive--- Dealbreaker

Verbally abusive--- Dealbreaker

 

Erectile dysfunction---This is not a time to see a lawyer. This is a time to see a Dr. Sickness and in health...I remember those vows.

 

Lack of spark/chemistry---Not possible. I wouldn't have married him if there was no spark.

[Jules78]

I'm going to list several reasons why wives might leave their husbands. If you are a woman, please rank these 7 reasons in order from MOST significant to LEAST significant in your mind:

 

Unemployed (or not working)

Emotionally unavailable

Infidelity

Physically abusive

Verbally abusive

Erectile dysfunction

Lack of spark/chemistry

 

Thanks for feedback!

 

Deal breakers

Physically abusive

Infidelity

Verbally abusive

 

Only after a valiant effort was made on both sides to correct

Emotionally unavailable

Lack of spark/chemistry

 

Easy to fix

Unemployed (or not working) - He would have to be making a serious effort here. If he was just lazy and refused to work (and for a significant amount of time) then I might respond differently.

Erectile dysfunction

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Those may all be valid reasons, but isn't it possible that the number one reason is something else?

 

 

Yeah, how could the number one reason not be

 

 

Lack of communication

[gabgab]

Let's assume, for the sake of argument, the following:

 

 

-He is unemployed by choice due to laziness and refuses to change

-His ED is not responding well to medical treatment

-His emotional unavailability went on for months and he's not working at it

-The lack of spark is no longer a concern of his and he won't change

 

 

I guess what I'm asking is for you to rank these ASSUMING they are finalities (ie, they won't change). That's the idea of this thread.

 

Only thing Id change is moving the ED all the way to the bottom. Someone cannot help a medical problem.

[Loveless21]

I'm going to list several reasons why wives might leave their husbands. If you are a woman, please rank these 7 reasons in order from MOST significant to LEAST significant in your mind:

 

5, Unemployed (or not working)

4. Emotionally unavailable

2. Infidelity

1. Physically abusive

3. Verbally abusive

6. Erectile dysfunction

7. Lack of spark/chemistry

 

Thanks for feedback!

 

I am in a verbally abusive relationship with a man who was unemployed many tims and has been seeking other women for quite wome time.

[KathyM]

Infidelity is probably the top reason women leave their husbands.

 

I'm guessing the second most common reason is neglect/emotional disconnect.

 

Addictions.

 

Physical/emotional/verbal abuse.

 

Chronic unemployment is likely often a factor.

 

Unable to resolve conflicts in an acceptable way.

 

Those are probably the primary reasons people divorce.

 

I doubt ED is the issue, since that can be remedied with Viagra or other similar medication.

[trippi1432]

Infidelity is probably the top reason women leave their husbands.

 

I'm guessing the second most common reason is neglect/emotional disconnect.

 

Addictions.

 

Physical/emotional/verbal abuse.

 

Chronic unemployment is likely often a factor.

 

Unable to resolve conflicts in an acceptable way.

 

Those are probably the primary reasons people divorce.

 

I doubt ED is the issue, since that can be remedied with Viagra or other similar medication.

 

Addictions is a good one Kathy, that should have been added to the list M30. Honestly, when you put addictions at the top of the list, the rest of those seven factors typically happen in some order.

 

ED can be an issue if the person isn't willing to seek help, refuses it...as there is more going on than ED.