Cosmo article: NYC women dont like short guys

[Bigcitydreamer]

I mean, how many people who are not perfect yet successful at dating have to tell you that a physical feature has not held them back? If you want more success with women work on the things you can change and that you feel you should change (like becoming more social, finding hobbies, growing career, getting fit, etc etc etc).

[PJKino]

Mens height is the most judged physical trait in the dating world with maybe the excpetion of womens weight which can be changed a mans height cant which is why its such a sensitive subject..

 

When you have the least desirable most judged trait in the dating world that cant be changed its gonna make you a little insecure..

[Bigcitydreamer]

I don't know if I agree that men's height is the most judged characteristic. I'd say its probably an attractive face. That's something you can't change either. Facial attractiveness is subjective and as we have seen from many posters height is subjective also. Some people genuinely prefer shorter guys.

 

Ill use a perfect example of a girl I know. She is a nurse and is really really pretty. Tall, thin, long blond hair, pretty face. She is about 5ft 9. She use to be a bit insecure wearing heels because it made her taller than most girls and many guys but it seems like she has gotten over that for the most part. Her bf is 5ft 6. He's the smartest person I know. He's also very nice to her and they are in a very happy mature respectful and equal relationship. I've never seen her be happier. Explain this to me if height means everything?

 

No one blames you for being insecure about your height. Everyone is insecure about something. But you need to effectively deal with that and listen to the advice rather than feel anger over it because people really aren't as judgemental and close minded as you think they are due to being insecure about the way you look.

[PJKino]

ing?

 

No one blames you for being insecure about your height. Everyone is insecure about something. But you need to effectively deal with that and listen to the advice rather than feel anger over it because people really aren't as judgemental and close minded as you think they are due to being insecure about the way you look.

 

Looking at the statistics of women that wont date a man under a certain height in the article i posted i disagree with your statement about people not being close minded and judgemental

 

Especially this https://twitter.com/expsnghghtsm

Edited December 12, 2013 by PJKino

[Bigcitydreamer]

And you ignored the rest of what I said?

 

I didn't say people aren't judgemental. I said they are not as judgemental as you think they are. Height is not a ruling factor for most people. You should listen better to advice from people who want to see you succeed.

 

Tall is attractive, pretty is attractive, nice is attractive, smart is attractive, loyal is attractive. Who cares about what you don't have. Be proud and show off what you do have. That's what all of the other short guys are doing and it's working for them.

 

It's like someone who isn't smart being all pissed off at society because most people can agree that smart is attractive. Lets say a survey is done and 90% say they find intelligence attractive. So naturally all the unintelligent people should get upset because they aren't intelligent. Really they are more likely to be like "oh well what odds, I'm cute and funny and someone will like me for me".

 

Yes intelligence is not a physical feature but I used it to show that you simply cannot have everything. No one is arguing that lots of girls like tall guys. No one is arguing that tallness is an attractive feature. I guess it's more so a "who gives a sh*t type of situation. Lots of short guys have girlfriends so height can't be what is stopping girls from liking you.

[PJKino]

And you ignored the rest of what I said?

 

I didn't say people aren't judgemental. I said they are not as judgemental as you think they are. Height is not a ruling factor for most people. You should listen better to advice from people who want to see you succeed.

 

Tall is attractive, pretty is attractive, nice is attractive, smart is attractive, loyal is attractive. Who cares about what you don't have. Be proud and show off what you do have. That's what all of the other short guys are doing and it's working for them.

 

It's like someone who isn't smart being all pissed off at society because most people can agree that smart is attractive. Lets say a survey is done and 90% say they find intelligence attractive. So naturally all the unintelligent people should get upset because they aren't intelligent. Really they are more likely to be like "oh well what odds, I'm cute and funny and someone will like me for me".

 

Yes intelligence is not a physical feature but I used it to show that you simply cannot have everything. No one is arguing that lots of girls like tall guys. No one is arguing that tallness is an attractive feature. I guess it's more so a "who gives a sh*t type of situation. Lots of short guys have girlfriends so height can't be what is stopping girls from liking you.

 

Im not saying cant be done my point is that i hear women whine how shallow and superficial men are when i can make a good argument women are more vain and shallow..

[Bigcitydreamer]

And that is based on the fact that women have one quality that most agree is physically appealing to them?

[PJKino]

And that is based on the fact that women have one quality that most agree is physically appealing to them?

 

Yes men have a much more diverse taste in their ideal or what they find physcially attractive where womens starts with tall

[MrCastle]

I think OP's main point is that women can be just as shallow as men, which is true. If he's saying anything else besides that I can't agree.

 

I don't think anyone is arguing that tallness is seen as attractive to women. Big boobs and big butts are attractive to men. But if you are specifically ruling people out for lack of height, or lack of curves, that's shallow. Because you're placing a restriction on who you date based on physical measurements. Shallow means, surface level, not deep -- or more simply put, physical, not looking at the person underneath.

 

But as stated by me and others, when it comes to people worthy of dating, they will see someone as a complete human being and not a pair of long legs or a set of boobs or whatever.

 

I've seen the heightism twitter page but you can scan the web for any negative views and make a page of it. I can gather enough posts online to show boobism, where women with flat chests are hated in disgusting ways. That doesn't mean every man is like that.

 

Also, I would ask that you look around, especially on this forum, at those who are shallow and who do put physical limitations on who they date. You'll notice the majority of them are single. There's a reason for that.

[Bigcitydreamer]

Yes men have a much more diverse taste in their ideal or what they find physcially attractive where womens starts with tall

 

But how does having diverse taste mean that you are less shallow? How does having the same tastes mean you are shallow?

 

I agree with MrCastle that one needs to look at the definition of shallow to see that preferences does not equal shallowness. If women are willing to overlook their "collective preference" (which they are because lots of shorter guys get dates) then that sort of makes them less shallow if they are willing to commit to someone who does not meet their physical preferences.

[MrCastle]

But how does having diverse taste mean that you are less shallow? How does having the same tastes mean you are shallow?

 

I agree with MrCastle that one needs to look at the definition of shallow to see that preferences does not equal shallowness. If women are willing to overlook their "collective preference" (which they are because lots of shorter guys get dates) then that sort of makes them less shallow if they are willing to commit to someone who does not meet their physical preferences.

 

That's exactly right. Every single one of us has preferences. What makes someone shallow or not depends on how willing they are to break that preference.

 

Not shallow: I have a preference for curvy brunettes. But if a flat chested, flat butt blonde and I really connect, and we have chemistry. I will date her. Curvy brunettes are not the only physical type I find attractive. I can date all kinds of women.

 

Shallow: I have a preference for curvy brunettes. I will not date a single person who is not a curvy brunette. Don't really care how many other things I like about them or how much we have in common. They're not curvy.

 

And that goes back to what you're saying. I would venture to say most women prefer a taller man, but shorter guys still get dates. Just as many as their taller counterparts, in my experience. So who's dating these men? Women who aren't shallow and date the man because they still find him physically attractive as well as attractive in terms of personality. Who's not dating him? Shallow women who are ruling him out based on height alone.

 

That's the difference.

[ponchsox]

Those women are a little too full of themselves. They are doing you a favor.

[PJKino]

But how does having diverse taste mean that you are less shallow? How does having the same tastes mean you are shallow?

 

I agree with MrCastle that one needs to look at the definition of shallow to see that preferences does not equal shallowness. If women are willing to overlook their "collective preference" (which they are because lots of shorter guys get dates) then that sort of makes them less shallow if they are willing to commit to someone who does not meet their physical preferences.

 

When you factor in how many guys are "tall" meaning in womens minds that magical 6 feet or over mark which is only about 12% of male population then when you figure out of those how many of them are actually classically good looking and handsome? it doesnt leave many of them for the majority of women so they have to settle

[Bigcitydreamer]

When you factor in how many guys are "tall" meaning in womens minds that magical 6 feet or over mark which is only about 12% of male population then when you figure out of those how many of them are actually classically good looking and handsome? it doesnt leave many of them for the majority of women so they have to settle

 

And this is why you can't be helped. The more you respond the more it seems like you are a troll. Nothing I'm saying is too hard for you to understand. By not responding to any of the stuff I'm actually saying shows you don't want to be helped. I know you have been here a while but you are still most likely a troll sitting behind ur computer trying to get a rise out of people.

 

If that's not the case.. Well then you probably should look into counselling or something. Because reasoning with you is like reasoning with a 2 year old- it's impossible.

[PJKino]

And this is why you can't be helped. The more you respond the more it seems like you are a troll. Nothing I'm saying is too hard for you to understand. By not responding to any of the stuff I'm actually saying shows you don't want to be helped. I know you have been here a while but you are still most likely a troll sitting behind ur computer trying to get a rise out of people.

 

If that's not the case.. Well then you probably should look into counselling or something. Because reasoning with you is like reasoning with a 2 year old- it's impossible.

 

No im not trolling and i got what you said i just dont buy it,i still believe women are more shallow

[MrCastle]

No im not trolling and i got what you said i just dont buy it,i still believe women are more shallow

 

If you think that, it will be harder to find someone. You have to go in with the mindset of "women are decent human beings until proven otherwise," not "women are shallow scum until I meet one that proves different."

 

That slight change in belief will do you a world of good.

 

And really, not just in dating, but in life. Assume all people you meet are good people, until they do something that changes your perception of them. You can't look at everyone as a bad person right off the bat because you won't find anyone with that belief.

[PJKino]

If you think that, it will be harder to find someone. You have to go in with the mindset of "women are decent human beings until proven otherwise," not "women are shallow scum until I meet one that proves different."

 

That slight change in belief will do you a world of good.

 

And really, not just in dating, but in life. Assume all people you meet are good people, until they do something that changes your perception of them. You can't look at everyone as a bad person right off the bat because you won't find anyone with that belief.

 

I dont look at people as bad people at all in fact ive probably given them too much benefit of the doubt in my life

 

Relationships are another ballgame ive never had sucess with women then see articles about short men in the city i live in and its hard not to think its at least a part of the reason for my struggles

 

More then that im just sick of seeing posts from women abot how shallow men are and how thwy want to be loved for what kind of person they are not just what they look like y et so many wont do same for men.

[gabgab]

Most women dont like fat men either add in height and women have more physical demands

 

Women dont require men to

-have a perfect body on top of not being overweight (you know, men want women who have a body where they have that perfect 24 inch WITH all natural large boobs and butt)

-wear makeup so their face looks perfect and no skin blemishes are present

-spend money on cute clothing that tailors to their figure

-have long eyelashes, perfectly shaped lips and eyebrows.

 

Most women just want a guy who isnt fat and doesnt have ugly hair or teeth. Not hard. Men expect media images they see everyday

[MrCastle]

Relationships are another ballgame ive never had sucess with women then see articles about short men in the city i live in and its hard not to think its at least a part of the reason for my struggles[/Quote]

 

While I understand why you feel that way, surely, being in NYC like me, you've seen guys your height or shorter with chicks right? I have. I've seen all kinds of guys get girls here in the city. Probably because those guys don't harp on their height. And neither do those women.

 

More then that im just sick of seeing posts from women abot how shallow men are and how thwy want to be loved for what kind of person they are not just what they look like yet so many wont do same for men.

 

I understand. You feel there's a double standard. If people don't want to admit that both sexes are equally shallow, that's on them. Their opinion doesn't change that reality.

[beatcuff]

... Height is not a ruling factor for most people...

 

in this case you are dead wrong. peruse the crowd. it is difficult to find a woman taller than her man. and the one couple we know that is close in 'real' height --- she must wear flats when with him.

 

and there is nothing wrong with a PREFERENCE that is not SHALLOW. that is a preference or should i start looking at 20 year olds (i'm 40+).....

[Bigcitydreamer]

in this case you are dead wrong. peruse the crowd. it is difficult to find a woman taller than her man. and the one couple we know that is close in 'real' height --- she must wear flats when with him.

 

and there is nothing wrong with a PREFERENCE that is not SHALLOW. that is a preference or should i start looking at 20 year olds (i'm 40+).....

 

I am not "dead wrong". I know lots of girls who are close in height to their bf or taller. LOTS! Also men are on average taller than women so..

[crederer]

Cosmo? Man....have you read any articles in there? It is the most misleading mag I've ever seen.

 

Some girls like tall guys, sure. You're not ridiculously short. Most girls just want a guy taller than them. Most girls are shorter than 5'7 so you should be fine in that area.

[ponchsox]

They care about the thickness of your wallet.

[theothersully]

Back to the topic a moment...

 

"short" in nyc is way different than other areas. I am just a tad under 6' tall. Yet... when i would ride the packed subway car to work in the morning years back, I could see end to end.

 

NYC is Italians, Jews, Asians, Hispanics. Genetically, and on average, these groups are not terrible tall people. So... an average height white guy does just fine in nyc.

 

plus, it's loaded with the short brunettes i adore! lol

[MrCastle]

They care about the thickness of your wallet.

 

Among other things.