Craziest examples of Affair Fog/WAS Syndrome

[RedHawk08]

As we all have been told,

"Believe none of what they say, and half of what they do".

This is to protect your soul from delusional self justifications of their unreasonable behaviour.

 

What have been the craziest or most harsh things you have been told as they try to self justify their wicked behaviours?

 

I have just heard,

"If I had stayed with you I would be on anti-depressants by now" (Below the belt considering she left me 4 days after being diagnosed with it myself).

 

"I don't see why I should feel guilty for wanting a better life for myself" (Moving to an apartment in a crime ridden area, with a hole in the roof)

 

"I am tired of having people lean on me" (Check your bank statements to see how your husband has bailed you out financially 10 times)

 

My personal favourite.

Despite constant intentions of divorce from your spouse, but constant excuses as to when it's coming, you lose patience after a 9 month wait and file yourself.

Their response?

Absolutely nothing.

Edited December 10, 2013 by RedHawk08

[RightThere]

My STBXW telling all the other guys she slept with "her marriage has been over for a long time."

 

Meanwhile constantly pressuring me to look at new houses with her, have another baby, look at moving our family to far away locations.

 

The fog is a powerful tool on the weak minded.

[RedHawk08]

The Fog is almost encouraging in itself. It shows that the spouse is genuinely feeling chronic levels of guilt. Why come up with ludicrous reasons to justify their behaviour to themselves otherwise.

[Raena]

How about texting me to tell me he isn't with the OW because he saw that she posted on Twitter that she was with her "sexy" when he was supposed to be at work...

 

Fast forward a few weeks and the OW posts a picture of the two of them together at a restaurant... with his new phone in his hand... texting someone with a look of guilt on his face and phone turned away from her... while she sits there looking pissed off.

 

Because of the new phone in his hand, I knew when the picture could have been taken and since she feels the need to blast her entire life on Twitter, I knew that the only weekend she was in the area was that same day that he lied and told me he wasn't with her.

 

This was all 2 weeks BEFORE he told me the truth about what was going on between the two of them. I guess he thought I wouldn't be smart enough to figure it out.

 

The countless lies after that are even worse:

• No, she isn't living at my place, there is nothing going on between us... meanwhile she's tweeting about how happy she is to be living with him.
   
  
• I dumped her... meanwhile she starts posting a bunch of pictures of the two of them together after he supposedly dumped her.
   
  
• After the truth came out about her staying at his place.... oh, I'm only letting her stay here because I want to convince her to give up custody of her kids and then I'm going to dump her. I want to hurt her as badly as she hurt me.
  

• 
  

 

and then people wonder why I would bother to watch what she is posting on social media.... if I didn't, I wouldn't know the truth.

[littlejaz]

One of my favorites was "I have decided I am going to stop lying to you and I am not going to get on those websites any more (marital affair websites) because the computer at my mom's house (where he was staying) is broken and the computers at the library have filters on them so they won't go to those websites."

 

He moved out Friday night, this was Monday morning and he had been on those websites all weekend. Of course, he is addicted to prescription meds.

[firststeps]

Here are my top 6 that my STBXH said to myself and others for reasons for leaving me after 20 years for another OW:

 

1: If l come back, l wont be able to stay faithful

2. lm now free

3. She can drive better then you. She is more carefree

4. I dont like to deal with your family and culture

5. She is more confident then you

6. l was coming by to see you as l wanted to know if l still had feeling for you, but now l know that l dont .

 

Completely unreal!!!

[TheBladeRunner]

My STBXW telling all the other guys she slept with "her marriage has been over for a long time."

 

Meanwhile constantly pressuring me to look at new houses with her, have another baby, look at moving our family to far away locations.

 

The fog is a powerful tool on the weak minded.

 

I guess those Jedi Mind Tricks DO work on the strong minded:D

 

I fell for that crap for so long; I first felt like a schmuck then I quickly realized how deviant she REALLY was.........for a little while. Kind of like those serial killers that get away with what they do for years and never get caught. The clowns at CNN interview the neighbors and they always seem to say "He was such a nice guy". All my friends say the same about my XW: "She was the last person I would have expected to do that (A)".

 

As far as crappy things said, my favorite was "I can't believe how easy it is to have feelings for someone else". Man those words make a guy feel good:sick:

[trippi1432]

1. I just started seeing her two weeks ago, I can't leave her now...I can't do that to HER. (but could to his family of 15 years)

 

2. I'm sorry son, I had no idea (after four years of being with HER) that there was a tradition that non-family couldn't touch "certain" ornaments...I'll make sure it never happens again (empty promise).

 

The "fog" can go on for a very long time, depends on how much of a pathological liar they can be to themselves.

[RedHawk08]

I started this thread because I thought it would be good for everyone to offload the things they've been told.

But also, to remind each other that we shouldn't take these things they say personally.

 

This is just cr*p they tell themselves because they are feeling guilty as hell.

 

I was talking to a psychologist friend recently who went into great depth on the subject.

[Shocked Suzie]

My top three

 

'it's a shame cause you'd really like her'

 

'its just happened, I wasn't looking for it'

 

And after a week of my kids finding out (seriously it was like my kids were still standing there in frozen shock, with their mouths wide open) ... him going on holiday with her in that week, he comes back all happy and excited and says 'kids she cant wait to meet you and we're gonna take you on holiday'!?

[Shocked Suzie]

I started this thread because I thought it would be good for everyone to offload the things they've been told.

But also, to remind each other that we shouldn't take these things they say personally.

 

This is just cr*p they tell themselves because they are feeling guilty as hell.

 

I was talking to a psychologist friend recently who went into great depth on the subject.

 

It's a great idea ...

[The dad]

"I don't want to be in a relationship anymore" about a month before she moved in with my ex friend (om)

"Our daughter is the most important person in this" She hasn't seen her in over a month.

"I had to move to his town, it's the only place I could find work" After walking out on her job less than 10 miles from home. She now lives an hour away and claims not to have the money to even come to our daughters therapy appts.

[BeingMe]

"I don't think I'm cut out for relationships" - This after 14 years marriage and leaving to be with the OW. Really, he expected me to swallow that one?

 

"If things were different I think you'd be friends" (about the OW). Yeah...I just love surrounding myself with 28 year old slappy knickers who write emails like a teenager and get off on splitting up families. Oh no, that's right, I don't.

 

And then there's all the cake eating flirty / yearnful chit chat that he would never do in front of OW...I've made it very clear that this bakery is closed. And the fantastic thing is that I'm looking hotter than ever and he keeps commenting on it. But I don't do open relationships and find men in relationships a real turn off.