Getting through the Days

[AriesFire1382]

Hi Everyone,

 

I will try to keep this short but not guaranteed. Anyhow I will tell my story its been five months now since I have seen the guy that I am still love with. Back a year ago we worked together and at the time he had a g/f, the thing is I have never dated and I am 22yrs old. Well the thing is because I am a "good girl" from the church I chose to focus on College right now but the heart will find a way. Anyhow the thing is he is a year younger then me, he is 21. Well at work when we did work together I kind of had a crush on him yes the typical "bad boy." Anyways he broke up with his x g/f because the thing is "we" had to much in common after two months of working with he and I became quick friends. I mean I have other guy friends but they never caught me like he did nor did I ever develop feelings for them. Although his other female friend who also worked there did not like the way we were always together. She got jealous ect. He began hinting that he had feelings for me and try to give me the hint that in a few years that he wanted to marry me and have kids because I was the girl he was looking for and he was ready to change his ways until his other female friends found out about me and kept putting bad things in his mind to get into trouble. Although he never really never listened to them even though he knew them longer because I spoke to him like an adult and not a child like they would. However I left my job because of many reasons nothing to do with him because my ex-boss was an idiot. Anyhow I wanted to date him but my parents stopped me by saying he was to young and I should date someone a little older but I didn't so we never hooked up because my parents could see him as a friend but deep inside I knew he was something more. When we would go out to lunch and others would come we would always ignore them and speak with another as if we were by ourself. However something changed. He changed and so did I. When he would call he would slightly give me an attitude and I would give him one back. Back in August we went out to lunch for the very last time and things were just cold between us. Though deep inside I could still see the love he had for me in his eyes but something was hurting him and I began to suspect the worse. Well anyways we had not talk for three weeks after that. I thought I give him some space to himself back in September and then I went to my ex-work and saw one of my manger's who told me that my guyfriend began dating his best female friend three weeks ago and suddenly I just everything that I knew from many great memories that I cannot write because it will take forever become devasted and one of my manger's knew that I had feelings for him and then suddenly my assistant manager at that time kept asking me out on a date. Yes one of my manager's was trying to hook up with me and he is 36yrs old. TOO OLD!!! So I said no to him and then left.

So I became deeply wounded by this and then back in October a bad feeling that he was going to get in a car accident but I wanted to call him up and tell him but I stopped myself because I did not want to show that I was weak without him and wanted to prove myself that I needed to move on even though he was dating his best female friend. So in November I bumped into one of my ex-coworkers and we began talking and she told me that my guyfriend was in a car accident back in October and she told me the date and a few days I had that feeling before it happened and he nearly lost his life because someone ran a red and smashed into him. So quickly I called him and left him a voice mail that I would be praying for him to heal and the thing is that my dumb ex- assistant manager never called me nor was I ever called by any of his other jealous female friends, anyways he returned my call a few minutes later and we talked for about 20 minutes. I enjoyed hearing his voice but after that we have not spoken again. The thing is I don't want to call him because he has a girlfriend and I don't want to interven between them. To me it is a wrong idea. Everyday is a battle not to see him or talk with him. On some days I don't think about him and on others he keeps going through my mind. We're at the same college but our days are different. I am now at a wonderful job where I see very good looking "single" doctors or paramedics come in but strangely it does not feel right with them like it did with him. My other friends have told me that his relationship with his best friend who is only 19 won't last and they tell me to wait and see what happens in a few years, but the thing is I don't want to hold on anymore thinking what we had. I want to move forward and I am trying to stay focused on school, work, and church but something deep inside that I don't know how to explain and so I am coming here for help because I have no idea what it is that is telling me to hold on but I don't want to. And the thing is I am in still in love with him but my feelings don't want to let go and that my heart is telling me is he "the one" but not right now. Has this feeling that I am talking about ever happened to anyone. Like I said earlier I have never dated and I am kind of glad sometimes I don't but I really don't understand any of this. Please help. The five months are to long for me and I just want to move ahead but something won't let me. Any advice is given.

 

Thax and sorry it was so long

[7on]

22 and 21 too young?

 

My parents met when my mom was 27 and dad was 21. They just celebrated their 21st anniversary.

[AriesFire1382]

Yeah I know age is just a number, but because I really don't want to blame or point the finger at my parents because what they said, but sometimes I do wonder what of would of happened if they didn't intervene. They don't understand that age is a number, my cousin's wife is five years older than him. So that is why I really don't chose to date because my parents don't mind their own business. They want me to date someone who is older and wiser in thinking and in life. And because of this I may of lost the one who I was meant to be with. But I can't change the past yet only focus what comes to me in the future.

[7on]

I think whom you love shouldn't be up to your parents. You should go with your heart. To me it seems this guy does like you, but I'm weird. So you might want the advice of someone a little older than I.