How to indicate my interest in meeting?

[Sentry]

I’ve been talking to this woman for several weeks. She messaged me first on an OLD site (does that seem strange? I know online dating still has a bit of stigma surrounding it), and we seemed to hit it off. We sent tons of messages back and forth – like over 50 each, sometimes our conversations were happening in real time where we’d respond to each other in a few minutes.

 

At some point I suggested exchanging numbers so we could talk freely. She responded positively to that (ie.: “Sure! My number is xxx-xxx-xxxx! ” – this is literally what she wrote me.) Since then we don’t talk much on the website anymore, I mean there’s no point if we could just talk any time. Which is great! It’s making progress and I’m happy about that. The conversation has sort of dwindled a bit – compared to online where it seemed we chatted often, in texting we don’t talk much at all. I’m fine with that, it’s not like I expect to talk every day. But here’s my problem… of late I’m the one always initiating the conversation. She’ll respond just as friendly as she usually does, but then it will end after a few messages and then we don’t talk again.

 

I think she’s a really awesome person but I realize I’m seeing that through the eyes of the internet at most, and a few text messages at least. I’m not looking to jump into a relationship but seeing how she and I both share the idea of becoming friends first, I’m looking to see how we could actually meet up sometime. But that’s where the problem currently stands. I really don’t know if she’s interested. I know the ultimate solution is to just ask if she’s interested in meeting up (not directly, but like asking what her plans are for the weekend I suppose?). What’s stopping me is that if I’m not feeling she’s all that interested why bother asking?

 

I’d love some opinions. Is her interest minimal at best and I’m better off keeping things as they are with just sending text messages? A second question I’d like to ask is at this stage, what could I possibly do to suggest about meeting up.

Edited December 11, 2013 by Sentry
Edited because apparetly copying/pasting from word messes things up.

[KathyM]

Just invite her on a date. She's probably starting to lose interest because you are taking this too slow, and it's taking too long to get to the meet up stage. Women (and men) lose interest if the meet up stage is delayed for too long.

[Teraskas]

In my opinion, the very fact that she messaged you first on an OLD, is a HUGE indicator that she's interested. I have yet to experience a woman who does that. (and if she does she'll receive my eternal respect for it. )

 

A second indicator of interest is the exchange of phone numbers.

In most cases, the women I talked to on OLD seemed to be reluctant because they wanted to get to know me better before exchanging numbers.

 

The waning of interest on her end is probably because you are moving too slow. Also, try to do more of the initiating via texts, as this could potentially spark increased interest from her.

 

Ultimately, what I would do here is say something along the lines of 'Hey, I've had a busy week and would need to relax this weekend. You fancy meeting up for a drink ? No pressure environment , and we'll have a good time. ' (Or call her and say that)

Take advantage of the situation and see where it goes from there.

[PegNosePete]

Call her up and ask her out. Jeeze why are you over-thinking this so much? It's really simple dude you ask her out and if she says yes then she is interested, if she says no then you say OK bye.

[Leeway Harris]

You should ask her if she wants to meet because YOU want to meet her, not because it's appropriate or "the right time". Because it never is. There is absolutely no way of knowing if she wants you to ask her to meet or not. Maybe she's getting frustrated because you're moving too slow. Or at the other extreme, maybe she thinks you're a rapist because she met you online, and teh intarnets are SCARYYYYY!!! It's not your problem either way. Ask her if she wants to meet you in person. DIRECTLY! Not "Sooooo... Whaddya doin' after work?" Again, not because she she wants you to, and not because you're sure she'll say yes, but because YOU want to meet her. Take care of your own wants and needs, and let her take care of hers.