My fault?

[familygone]

14 YEAR MARRIAGE GONE. She put the blame game on me,when shes the one who cheated and on a sex site with videos of herself polishing guys ----! I did my fair share around the house.Fixing things, to snow shoveling.mowing to vacuuming ,to cleaning bathrooms to washing my daughters clothes.etc.She got everything she wanted. Our sex life was great i thought had sex all the way to the divorce.I did the stage of trying to fix things to losing my appetite.,To save this marriage.one spouse cant do it alone. There were things i could have worked on . i come to realize that trying to fix things and changing for wouldnt mattered anyway !I am not perfect by any means.She is the one who needs to be fixed..Am i wrong to say that?

[Keenly]

14 YEAR MARRIAGE GONE. She put the blame game on me,when shes the one who cheated and on a sex site with videos of herself polishing guys ----! I did my fair share around the house.Fixing things, to snow shoveling.mowing to vacuuming ,to cleaning bathrooms to washing my daughters clothes.etc.She got everything she wanted. Our sex life was great i thought had sex all the way to the divorce.I did the stage of trying to fix things to losing my appetite.,To save this marriage.one spouse cant do it alone. There were things i could have worked on . i come to realize that trying to fix things and changing for wouldnt mattered anyway !I am not perfect by any means.She is the one who needs to be fixed..Am i wrong to say that?

 

Not at all. Your feeling are valid.

 

 

When we Do the absolute best we can and its still not enough, we start feeling pretty rejected. Just make sure you deal with the pain so you can heal properly.

[RightThere]

14 YEAR MARRIAGE GONE. She put the blame game on me,when shes the one who cheated and on a sex site with videos of herself polishing guys ----! I did my fair share around the house.Fixing things, to snow shoveling.mowing to vacuuming ,to cleaning bathrooms to washing my daughters clothes.etc.She got everything she wanted. Our sex life was great i thought had sex all the way to the divorce.I did the stage of trying to fix things to losing my appetite.,To save this marriage.one spouse cant do it alone. There were things i could have worked on . i come to realize that trying to fix things and changing for wouldnt mattered anyway !I am not perfect by any means.She is the one who needs to be fixed..Am i wrong to say that?

 

You are not wrong.

 

She is in a fog where nothing is her fault and she accepts responsibility for nothing. Set her free to the real world and let her do some of her own self discovery.

[familygone]

She wants me to live close so it isnt like a divorce for our 7 year old,and go places together,like we did before the divorce.It sounded ok at first.I know some people do that after a seperation.I cant bring myself to be like a false fake family,after the lies and cheating ,and two facing me.Wrong to say that?

[RightThere]

She wants me to live close so it isnt like a divorce for our 7 year old,and go places together,like we did before the divorce.It sounded ok at first.I know some people do that after a seperation.I cant bring myself to be like a false fake family,after the lies and cheating ,and two facing me.Wrong to say that?

 

I'm currently doing that with my STBXW. We do activities with our daughter together and try to keep things very civil. But we communicate to our daughter that mom and dad aren't living together anymore.

 

It was tough at first for me, but I'm much better with it in that I know it's for our daughter. My STBXW is a terrible wife and a horrible person, but overall she's a good mom and deserves to be treated as such in front of my daughter.

 

But you need to be comfortable with it too. If you're not, then don't feel bad for saying you don't want to tag along with your wife because of what she did to you.