SadBabyGirl Posted January 3, 2005 Share Posted January 3, 2005 Ok im just feeling a little insecure due to some depressive feelings that are brought on by the weather...but here goes. Its been 9 months since my ex fiance dissapeared out of my life, using exuses to leave me and never contacting me again. After all of the shock, mourning and depression I went through, I became very lonely and I missed having the comfiness of a relationship. I looked and I looked but couldnt not find anybody to go out with, nobody noticed me, it was like looking for a needle in the haystack. Finally I gave up and right when that happened I met the most incredible, amazing man. I find myself constantly thinking about him, we talk days and nites...I feel like Im falling in love again. And because we are like best friends, we tell eachother everything so the honesty is there, no games, nothing to hide. The thing is he has been badly hurt before too. And im proving to him more and more each day that im a big hearted person and i want nothing more then to have a nice long term relation that could lead to marriage. He even told me that if i ever left him, he would be devastated and he wouldnt want another relationship again, that hes done. The thing is, I know he is not going to do what my ex did to me. Its beyond a shadow of a doubt, and everyone tells me he is not like him. Its almost like it could be guaranteed that he wouldnt because, well its a LONG STORY lol, but lets just say that he thinks im one of the greatest things thats ever happened to him. However... My ex was like this in the beginning too. But it seemed put on, like he was over doing it showering me with love right away and jumping into it trying to buy my love... but my new guy is taking it slow and hes nothing like that. Hes very romantic but takes it slow and doesnt really rush the love thing...although his actions very well seem like hes in love with me. I know there are no guarantees in life but im scared to death it will happen to me again, that one day it could be the end. I cant bear losing people...i get very clingy and attached in the beginning and during the relation almost as if their my blood. Do you think i should also take it slow and not be so eager to jump into it right away? Im so lonely and i missed having somebody so bad that im literally pulling on this new guy as if he 'were' my ex coz i so desperately wanted to fill that void. And im not rebounding with him just because hes interested in me, i met many many people after my ex but this one is very special to me. I just knew when i saw him that hes like the man i would want for my husband. He has made me a very happy girl and Ive filled his life with happiness as well and hes doing so much better because of me. Any Advices? I really dont wanna lose this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
innocntlisy1981 Posted January 3, 2005 Share Posted January 3, 2005 sounds all great to me except you seem to be coming across desperate like already searching for marriage and stuff with this guy lay of a bit or u could scare him off the best thing u could do is just strat with a realtionship for now and c how u go from there.life is fully of upsets and we always seem to pik up the pieces agin u cant avoid it ever so stop trying.hope all gos well Link to post Share on other sites
GreenCap Posted January 3, 2005 Share Posted January 3, 2005 I am not a religious person but on Sunday as I was browsing through channels, I came across this sermon by a Pastor Joel Osteen. He was coincidentally talking about letting go of the past and moving on. You see, it has been 3.5 months since my breakup and I have been having a hard time moving on and forgetting her. So the sermon/talk was of some interest to me. Anyway, to summarise, he basically said to leave old baggage behind and not carry it into the new relationship for you will always be looking for trouble where none exists and eventually may drive the new person away - or put it another way, you are setting yourself up for failure when you bring the yesterday's baggage into today's journey. If you do this, you always end up sad and depressed because you are making the new person in your life pay for the misdeeds done to you by the ex. This really hit me and intuitively I got what he was saying. And I hope this makes sense to you as it did me as well. Take care. I sufferred a relapse five days ago and having difficulty sleeping eventhough it is 3 AM and I have got work tomorrow. Life is difficult and no one should have that control over us. But I digress. Good morning. Link to post Share on other sites
7on Posted January 3, 2005 Share Posted January 3, 2005 We're a lot alike on the clinginess issue. I met this great girl, we have all the same interests and when I'm around her I feel genuinely happy and content. And away from her, I long for her. I'm trying to cope with the desperation. Because like innocntlisy1981 said, I don't want to scare her off. We've recently decided to throw benefits into our friendship - though that was before finals and we had no time to hangout. The deal is she is the ideal woman for me. Because I imagined what the perfect woman would be like back in 10th grade or so and she fits all the important details. She'd be my first love, however, she's had 2 relationships that ended somewhat disappointingly so I think that's making her cautious. It's just I accidentally fell in love. And being away from her is hurting my soul. Link to post Share on other sites
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