mario_C Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 In all fairness to POF and O.L.D. sites, some people leave their profiles open even after they go off the market - they don't know how to, or they don't care, or they don't have a clue, or they figure they may have to go back in later and they forget. And the sites' owners/admins make no effort to prune old out of date data - they basically do nothing but grab your money and shove ads in your face. OK, maybe I'm not being that empathic to the O.L.D. site owners - don't get me started on the fake profiles... Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 Well, to go on the offensive about POF at least, the same faces I keep seeing pop up with the "Online Now" status. These women are in a perpetual state of single hood in these backwater towns. Usually they've recently moved this area (probably a regret of theirs - one admitted after moving here, she plans leaving the state once she gets things organized in her life)...they kind of figured out that the community consists of either married couples in HER age bracket, senior citizens, or people of the Larry the Cable Guy variety. lol Some even start adding crap to their profile complaining about the lack of "good men" in the area or just wanting "one thing". As a response to some of them I said, "You might want to consider relocation since things aren't going well for you here." In all fairness to POF and O.L.D. sites, some people leave their profiles open even after they go off the market - they don't know how to, or they don't care, or they don't have a clue, or they figure they may have to go back in later and they forget. And the sites' owners/admins make no effort to prune old out of date data - they basically do nothing but grab your money and shove ads in your face. OK, maybe I'm not being that empathic to the O.L.D. site owners - don't get me started on the fake profiles... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 (edited) Interesting thread, I was looking for something for "older daters". I just turned 50 and have been divorced for about 4 years now, I've been on various online dating sites for about 3. Similar to what other women have said, I'm finding that many men my age aren't interested in someone their own age. When men on any of the sites do contact me, I'm a little picky about who I'll actually meet in person, I don't think I met more than 12 last year & met less the previous years. This is primarily because 1) I don't get a ton of messages, and 2) I don't have high standards in the looks dept but they have to be attractive to me & many aren't, 3) I won't meet anyone who has a profile that's really poorly written, and 4) I won't meet anyone not age appropriate. I got divorced when I was 40 after 20 years with my ex but didn't jump back in the dating pool until just a little over a year later as I needed time to heal and get my sh*t together. Like most people, I decided to OLD mainly because my life can be very crazy between my career and parenting commitments and hanging out at a bar at my age was NOT something I enjoyed. I did the OLD on and off for about 3.5 years and, given how young I was when I met my ex, it is safe to say that I probably did more dating in those years than I did my whole life! Not sure what that means but it was what it was. I got a lot of attention but like most posts regarding OLD, it can feel like a full-time job sifting through all the profiles and trying to establish some kind of connection with the ones that appear to make the first draft. What I have learned is that the longer I was on OLD, my preferences changed - was it by choice or default is still up for debate. The men that most often flocked to my profile tended to be either 20-something year olds looking to fulfill their own Mrs. Robinson fantasy OR 60+ men looking for their own version of "young" arm candy that didn't come off quite so creepy Where were all the men in the middle???? My initial goal was to meet men my own age (give or take 5 years on either side) but as MixedUpChick said, most of those men weren't very interested in women their age. My experience showed me that they were either men who were in the midst of their mid-life crisis and just wanted to play the field a while longer with a hot young piece of arm candy who would stroke their fragile egos OR if they were serious about a relationship it was only after they realized they had been playing the field SO long that it was time for them to settle down and start a family...and that requires a woman of child-bearing years. It was a bit discouraging despite the fact that I had many friends that met men online and were very content. I won't even get into some of the dating stories because that would require a whole new thread!! In the end, I eventually did meet the love of my life and a man who is perfectly suited for me in every way (spiritually, emotionally, intellectually and sexually). And yes, he's 13 years younger than me! Don't knock it until you try it Edited April 1, 2014 by Michelle ma Belle 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MixedUpChick Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 (edited) My initial goal was to meet men my own age (give or take 5 years on either side) but as MixedUpChick said, most of those men weren't very interested in women their age. My experience showed me that they were either men who were in the midst of their mid-life crisis and just wanted to play the field a while longer with a hot young piece of arm candy who would stroke their fragile egos OR if they were serious about a relationship it was only after they realized they had been playing the field SO long that it was time for them to settle down and start a family...and that requires a woman of child-bearing years. In the end, I eventually did meet the love of my life and a man who is perfectly suited for me in every way (spiritually, emotionally, intellectually and sexually). And yes, he's 13 years younger than me! Don't knock it until you try it Your experience sounds VERY similar to mine, I get tons of messages from 19 yr olds to around mid-30s but then they jump way up, far past the +/- 5 yr range I'm interested in. I'd GLADLY date someone 13 yrs younger though if they actually wanted a relationship & not just a roll in the sack Edited April 1, 2014 by MixedUpChick 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 Your experience sounds VERY similar to mine, I get tons of messages from 19 yr olds to around mid-30s but then they jump way up, far past the +/- 5 yr range I'm interested in. I'd GLADLY date someone 13 yrs younger though if they actually wanted a relationship & not just a roll in the sack I got really lucky with him (and he feels the same about me). It's not lost on either of us. Honestly, it was so unexpected and at a time when I decided I was done with dating and the OLD. I guess there must be something to the idea that when you stop looking so hard, they suddenly appear 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts