Dating after 40's, 50's: LET'S SHARE WITH EACH OTHER HERE.

[SadNLonley]

Wow, Im not exactly ready to get back into the dating scene, but unfortunately when Im ready Im going to most likely have to look online. I just dont get out to place where I'd meet anyone.

 

I'm already concerned I will not find anyone. UGH. Im currently 43. Not that young cute thing anymore. Bad thing is that Im picky. I wont go out with anyone just go to have a date. Think I may be single for a very long time.

 

Doesn't sound promising for online daters.

[Khyla]

Wow, Im not exactly ready to get back into the dating scene, but unfortunately when Im ready Im going to most likely have to look online. I just dont get out to place where I'd meet anyone.

 

I'm already concerned I will not find anyone. UGH. Im currently 43. Not that young cute thing anymore. Bad thing is that Im picky. I wont go out with anyone just go to have a date. Think I may be single for a very long time.

 

Doesn't sound promising for online daters.

 

I hear ya. I dont really like the way the dating sites are set up ... I just joined a flirting chatroom site with webcam options. Anyone have any experience with them?

 

I like the concept but havent really tried it out yet. I'll let y'all know how it goes.

[Tayla]

I hear ya. I dont really like the way the dating sites are set up ... I just joined a flirting chatroom site with webcam options. Anyone have any experience with them?

 

I like the concept but havent really tried it out yet. I'll let y'all know how it goes.

 

Here's the lo' down. One is either a voyeur or an exhibitionist on such sites.

To each their own. I find them creepy and a bit ego centric, be it mild flirting or full blown out "shows". The Human body includes the mind.

 

In reading some of this post, I sincerely do hope you gain some dating opportunities, you deserve to live life after such a loss...Celebrate it in your own way...

[Khyla]

 

It's great that there are so many available men my age, but why is it that all of them are looking for a LTR rather than being happy with an uncomplicated, temporary FWB deal.

After meeting me in my chat room, just like the neighbor across the street, they don't seem to be interested in just a fling with me, rather they all make me feel like I might break their hearts or expose their vulnerability if I slept with them, so they wont even consider a one-night stand. I have to commit to wanting it to be more first.

 

And my life is in such a state of upheaval right now, that i dont feel i can do that. I just need a f--kbuddy right now damnit!. It seems there are a lot of young studs out there who would offer their services, but I'd hate to be the cause of possible lifelong damage to a young impressionable heart.

 

Is it really that unusual for the woman to always be on top?

 

Hubby and I would change it up as far as positions went in the earlier years. But as the years went on, (with the exception of a quickie doggy style) we seemed to gravitate toward me always being on top, just because it was the best for both of us that way.

 

I really hope I can find a new partner who likes it best that way.

 

Well, unexpected surprises last night!

 

Someone had told me be careful what you wish for. Looks like I may have got my wishes and in one big package! lol

 

I think he's happy with just the f-ckbuddy status,

 

He's safe because he belongs to the association my hubby belonged to and has mutual friends,

 

And he likes me on top!

 

AND, he's a little younger than me, and assures me he never has impotency issues.

 

I had gotten pretty drunk while we were chatting and next thing, he's taking me home and i got him by the balls, literally! lol. It was just how I wanted it, Wham Bam thank you Sam!

 

Oh, and i'm only 5ft 1, 130 pounds, and this guy is huge!

 

I never had a F-ckbuddy before and I'm wondering how we go about scheduling "meetings".. He lives about 10 miles away, works every day, so I guess it will revolve around his schedule, but what if I'm not in the mood when.... Who am I kidding?.... Me not in the mood? lol

[irc333]

It's been over a yr since hubby died

 

It's only been a year since his death??

[Khyla]

It's only been a year since his death??

 

14 months to be exact..

 

But what are you really questioning?

[Tayken]

14 months to be exact..

 

But what are you really questioning?

 

Perhaps...that you might have bumped him off for insurance? Kidding of course

So I read your other link, and it sounds all like Wisteria lane ish...desperate housewives mature version

 

I sure hope when am in my 50s and 60s..I end up on a street with women like yourself.

[Khyla]

...

I sure hope when am in my 50s and 60s..I end up on a street with women like yourself.

Well, i didnt think I was all that unusual, but my daughter even would say "It's not normal for people your age to still be so into it". She said that even she and her boyfriend didnt do it as much as her Dad and I did. lol

[Tayken]

Well, i didnt think I was all that unusual, but my daughter even would say "It's not normal for people your age to still be so into it". She said that even she and her boyfriend didnt do it as much as her Dad and I did. lol

 

You daughter is just jealous.....

 

Problem with the younger crowd and some in my age group (40), is that they still don't know what they want yet, and let the romance and other bonding aspects go by the wayside

 

Mature women know what they want, and as long as there is a very reliable honest guy ready to take the plunge.....it's all good

[Negative Nancy]

I think the middle aged women have never come better: educated, financially independent, in good shape, sporty, having learnt from their mistakes, with lots of love to give.

And yet they are being overlooked by guys their age. Time and time ago I see guys my age go into a relationship with a woman much worse than many single women that are out there, but often younger and more sh? (showing them they "need" them. I really think that it has to do with the intimidation factor

 

No, sorry to break it to you, it's nothing to do with "intimidation". The things women care about in men (educated, financially independent) are not the things men care about in women. For men, the first thought about a woman is: would I like to F her? (your looks). As a distant 2nd comes in a feminine personality. This is how it is for most men, men do not feel "intimidated" by your education or financial status, they feel intimated by a beautiful woman. And younger women in general are more pleasant to look at than older women, that's just how it is.

 

Women seriously need a reality check.

[suds00]

i just made my own post here before i read this one.i'm 64 and about ready to give up on the internet.i have a handicap so maybe that's w hy i'm not successful.having some one cook and clean for you in return for sex doesn't sex right.maybe i'm missing something.

[Tayken]

No, sorry to break it to you, it's nothing to do with "intimidation". The things women care about in men (educated, financially independent) are not the things men care about in women. For men, the first thought about a woman is: would I like to F her? (your looks). As a distant 2nd comes in a feminine personality. This is how it is for most men, men do not feel "intimidated" by your education or financial status, they feel intimated by a beautiful woman. And younger women in general are more pleasant to look at than older women, that's just how it is.

 

Women seriously need a reality check.

 

You were doing so well until you mentioned this stuff in BOLD. For me...a professional career male, not bad looking in his 40s (but I pass for being in my 30s because I don't smoke or drink)...I have never personally been into girls younger than me. My ex is 4yrs older than me, and when I was in my 20s, I dated women older than my ex.

 

Yes I will occasionally look at a younger woman (mid 20s up to my age), but it's only for the f**k factor, not that I'll like to spend all my time with her. I see a lot of older women that put younger women to shape physically, dress sense wise and of course experience and accomplishment.

 

It's fair to say my next squeeze will be someone older than me. I mean just look at all the younger women drama we read on here...why would I want to put myself through all that

[PinkInTheLimo]

No, sorry to break it to you, it's nothing to do with "intimidation". The things women care about in men (educated, financially independent) are not the things men care about in women. For men, the first thought about a woman is: would I like to F her? (your looks). As a distant 2nd comes in a feminine personality. This is how it is for most men, men do not feel "intimidated" by your education or financial status, they feel intimated by a beautiful woman. And younger women in general are more pleasant to look at than older women, that's just how it is.

 

Women seriously need a reality check.

 

No that's not how it is. I will be 50 at the end of the year but when I tell people my age they are shocked. They think I am a lot younger, like mid-thirties or forties. For starters, I have European size 36 which according to the internet is size 6 in the US so I am slim. I have always been active and done some sports so I also look rather athletic. I have hardly any wrinkles because I have moisturised my skin since I am a teenager. Furthermore I don't have any grey hair.

 

Put me next to the average overweight woman with kids in her thirties and there will be no doubt about who the more beautiful woman is.

I see women with young kids all the time who carry a lot more kilos with them and look a lot older than me.

 

For the rest I doubt that men don't care about education or being financially independent. Some might not but I think that a smart man with a good job certainly cares about having a woman he can be proud of. In my professional environment I certainly notice that being married with a SAHM is not having a positive influence on the status of a man. Being married with a woman with a succesful career has become a status symbol. And rightly so.

[Tayken]

Put me next to the average overweight woman with kids in her thirties and there will be no doubt about who the more beautiful woman is.

 

Not to take anything away from the self awareness....but why did you choose that demographic of a woman...You do realize that they are a lot of women in their 40s and 50s with kids (plural) that fit the bill of what you described about yourself?

 

It's like me saying put me next to the guy with the beer belly, that I can run faster than him.....not fair some will say, and I won't be happy with myself either

[PinkInTheLimo]

Not to take anything away from the self awareness....but why did you choose that demographic of a woman...You do realize that they are a lot of women in their 40s and 50s with kids (plural) that fit the bill of what you described about yourself?

 

It's like me saying put me next to the guy with the beer belly, that I can run faster than him.....not fair some will say, and I won't be happy with myself either

 

Well I chose the demographic of younger women because it is so often assumed that younger is better and more beautiful.

Of course there are plenty of women my age who are overweight. Thanks god, it might improve my chances of finding a man my age...

[Negative Nancy]

No that's not how it is. I will be 50 at the end of the year but when I tell people my age they are shocked. They think I am a lot younger, like mid-thirties or forties.

 

Yeah, keep telling yourself that. I always laugh when I hear women claim they look so much younger or when they tell anecdotes about how others guess their age so much younger - people do it out of politeness because everyone knows that being guessed younger is flattering. I look exactly my age and would never claim nor believe if anyone told me I look early 20s.

 

For starters, I have European size 36 which according to the internet is size 6 in the US so I am slim.

Yeah I have the same size, so what? Being thin doesn't make you look younger or does anyone say that the Golden Girls look like they are in their 20s?

 

I have always been active and done some sports so I also look rather athletic. I have hardly any wrinkles because I have moisturised my skin since I am a teenager. Furthermore I don't have any grey hair.

I do have grey hair and I still look younger than you simply because I AM younger. That's how nature is.

 

Put me next to the average overweight woman with kids in her thirties and there will be no doubt about who the more beautiful woman is.

Put yourself next to the average cute slim 20 year old and there will be no doubt about who the more beautiful woman is. Don't be delusional...

 

For the rest I doubt that men don't care about education or being financially independent. Some might not but I think that a smart man with a good job certainly cares about having a woman he can be proud of.

Men are proud of beautiful, nurturing, feminine women. Which men thinks about f*****g your degree? The first thing men are attracted to in women is their appearance, no two ways about it. Even you instinctively recognize this or else you wouldn't be talking about how much "younger" you look. Maybe some lazy "artist" / "musician" is content about your supplementary income, but even they judge you on your appearance first. Education (and we are not talking about degrees here, any woman can go through college nowadays, with quotas, affirmative action, easier curriculums etc) comes as a distant third after 1. looks 2. a pleasant personality.

 

Men want feminine women, and women want masculine man. We are equal in dignity, yes, but it's time for women to stop thinking men want the exact same things in women that women want in men, or that we are equal in our ABILITIES or DESIRES. Women's Master degrees, travel experiences, the money they make, matter LESS to a man than those same things matter to women when they look for a man (for obvious evolutionary reasons).

Edited February 23, 2014 by Negative Nancy

[Khyla]

You daughter is just jealous.....

 

Problem with the younger crowd and some in my age group (40), is that they still don't know what they want yet, and let the romance and other bonding aspects go by the wayside

 

Mature women know what they want, and as long as there is a very reliable honest guy ready to take the plunge.....it's all good

 

So, a whole week went by before my FWB and I could get together again. He called me like every day until then, sometimes twice a day! It was nice getting the attention, but then after our second encounter I didnt hear from him all week.

 

I suppose he had a good excuse, with the terrible snow storms and he did call once to tell me his truck broke down. But I think he was supposed to get it fixed this weekend and I still havent heard from him....

 

I finally registered with an online dating site and got dozens of messages before I even got my pictures up. I read through and found 3 guys interested me so I respoded. Right away they say they want to meet, I say OK. ...

 

It's been about 2 weeks and I had to let a few days slip by without messaging them and now found 2 of them are deleted! WTF? At least the one guy gave me his emai before he went "poof" so I sent him an email but havent heard back yet. (It's only been a day.) I just dont understnd why they wouldn't say they were deleting their accounts after sending me mesages every day. It's got me wondering if the site deleted them for some reason).

 

Has anyone else had this experience?

[salparadise]

I just dont understnd why they wouldn't say they were deleting their accounts after sending me mesages every day. It's got me wondering if the site deleted them for some reason). Has anyone else had this experience?

 

Yea, it happens all the time. They may have been West African scammers. It's a big industry over there. I went out with a woman two weeks ago who told me how she had been taken in by a scammer. She is an English teacher. I asked her if the guy's grammar was poor, and if that wasn't a dead give away. She said, well English was not his first language so I didn't think much of it. It was after he traveled out of the country and found himself stranded and short on fund that she got suspicious, but the confidence building phase had gone on for several weeks.

[salparadise]

I have a new and interesting twist in my dating life. I have been meeting people via online dating sites since my divorce 4 years ago. It has been my only way of finding people since I have little opportunity to meet single women in my age range otherwise. It has been working in that I've always been able to get dates, but chemistry, attraction and circumstances converging has been somewhat elusive. My enthusiasm for going on first-time dates with people I've never met has diminished. My last mini-relationship ended two months ago.

 

So I volunteer with a group of smart, caring, wonderful people. We all take specialized training and are committed to what we do. Ninety percent are females but most are in their 20s. Last summer a new trainee caught my eye. Early 50s, beautiful, articulate but demure and aloof as all classy, sophisticated women of this generation are supposed to be. Over the months I had occasion to work with her a few times and she started opening up some. My attraction grew stronger, but in the absence of extended conversation or overt flirting it's just hard to know if she's thinking what I'm thinking.

 

Our interactions were friendly but always professional boundaries in place. Similar to a regular workplace, you just don't want to screw everything up by hitting on women who may not be receptive. I decided something had to give. In the real world you have to transition from platonic/professional to personal, and then at some point you have to transition to romantic/sexual interest. in OLD it's implied from the start. So I contacted her outside of work under some helpful pretext. She was more than just polite, so I took that as a green light and asked out to dinner.

 

We went out Saturday night and had a really nice time. In fact, more than nice––enthusiasm, butterflies and all. Walking her to the door at the end of the night is another one of those moments. I gave her a little hug and kiss and smiled. She smiled back and looked me in the eye as if to say, wouldn't you like try that again. So I pulled her close and kissed her like I meant it! It was supercharged! Whew! We exchanged texts the next day. She's in. I haven't felt this way in years. Beautiful, smart, caring... ENFJ I think (my best guess, will confirm), which is good. I hope she doesn't get scared and run away.

[Under The Radar]

I have a new and interesting twist in my dating life. I have been meeting people via online dating sites since my divorce 4 years ago. It has been my only way of finding people since I have little opportunity to meet single women in my age range otherwise. It has been working in that I've always been able to get dates, but chemistry, attraction and circumstances converging has been somewhat elusive. My enthusiasm for going on first-time dates with people I've never met has diminished. My last mini-relationship ended two months ago.

 

So I volunteer with a group of smart, caring, wonderful people. We all take specialized training and are committed to what we do. Ninety percent are females but most are in their 20s. Last summer a new trainee caught my eye. Early 50s, beautiful, articulate but demure and aloof as all classy, sophisticated women of this generation are supposed to be. Over the months I had occasion to work with her a few times and she started opening up some. My attraction grew stronger, but in the absence of extended conversation or overt flirting it's just hard to know if she's thinking what I'm thinking.

 

Our interactions were friendly but always professional boundaries in place. Similar to a regular workplace, you just don't want to screw everything up by hitting on women who may not be receptive. I decided something had to give. In the real world you have to transition from platonic/professional to personal, and then at some point you have to transition to romantic/sexual interest. in OLD it's implied from the start. So I contacted her outside of work under some helpful pretext. She was more than just polite, so I took that as a green light and asked out to dinner.

 

We went out Saturday night and had a really nice time. In fact, more than nice––enthusiasm, butterflies and all. Walking her to the door at the end of the night is another one of those moments. I gave her a little hug and kiss and smiled. She smiled back and looked me in the eye as if to say, wouldn't you like try that again. So I pulled her close and kissed her like I meant it! It was supercharged! Whew! We exchanged texts the next day. She's in. I haven't felt this way in years. Beautiful, smart, caring... ENFJ I think (my best guess, will confirm), which is good. I hope she doesn't get scared and run away.

 

 

 

 

 

This is awesome!

[Tayken]

So, a whole week went by before my FWB and I could get together again. He called me like every day until then, sometimes twice a day! It was nice getting the attention, but then after our second encounter I didnt hear from him all week.

 

I suppose he had a good excuse, with the terrible snow storms and he did call once to tell me his truck broke down. But I think he was supposed to get it fixed this weekend and I still havent heard from him....

 

I finally registered with an online dating site and got dozens of messages before I even got my pictures up. I read through and found 3 guys interested me so I respoded. Right away they say they want to meet, I say OK. ...

 

It's been about 2 weeks and I had to let a few days slip by without messaging them and now found 2 of them are deleted! WTF? At least the one guy gave me his emai before he went "poof" so I sent him an email but havent heard back yet. (It's only been a day.) I just dont understnd why they wouldn't say they were deleting their accounts after sending me mesages every day. It's got me wondering if the site deleted them for some reason).

 

Has anyone else had this experience?

 

 

You naughty little thing...look at you

 

Depending on whicg site we are talking about here...you do realize that some of these sites setup bogus profiles just to have people sign up? This is how they make their money, and it's no uncommon to have computer generated responses

 

That might explain the deleted profiles, or it could just be those guys found someone else.....be careful

 

Meeting right away is good...that way you don't waste your time sending endless messages back and forth with someone.

[darkmoon]

if you are old, get real, you are not going to be successful as often as you were when you were young, do not expect strangers to owe you a thing, you will get men, but less of them, okay, quality not quantity, yada yada

 

 

am 60, ageing is part of life, decrepitude will come, no amount of self-delusion or self-righteousness will stop Old Father Time, you will look like your granny one day, deal with it, or save up for surgery, I do have a fwb, age 70, btw, it is possible to hook up, we like our techniques

Edited February 24, 2014 by darkmoon

[Khyla]

You naughty little thing...look at you

 

Depending on which site we are talking about here...you do realize that some of these sites setup bogus profiles just to have people sign up? This is how they make their money, and it's no uncommon to have computer generated responses

 

That might explain the deleted profiles, or it could just be those guys found someone else.....be careful

 

Meeting right away is good...that way you don't waste your time sending endless messages back and forth with someone.

 

heehee!

well it's PlentyofFish, and I have heard of bogus profiles,etc. but I dont see how that could be the case here;

 

I got an email reply tonight from one. He said he did meeet someone and is going on a second date. Apparently she works alot faster than I do. lol

 

The other guy had sent me about 25 messages, and I even told him I was an adult webcam model, and he thought that was cool and even visited me in my chat room.,, so that is just weird that he's suddenly gone with no "forwarding address",...

 

Oh, and I heard from my FWB. He just had a really bad week and on top of everything he said his back was killing him (injury from a couple years ago); but he said he definitley wants to get together soon.

 

but honestly, i dont think once a week is gonna cut it. i need the energizer bunny! LOL

[irc333]

You not having had kids helps out at your age.

 

I've noticed older women, without kids and never married, tend to look younger.

 

I guess the lack of stress in your life by not having kids and such tend to keep people youthful. lol

 

No that's not how it is. I will be 50 at the end of the year but when I tell people my age they are shocked. They think I am a lot younger, like mid-thirties or forties. For starters, I have European size 36 which according to the internet is size 6 in the US so I am slim. I have always been active and done some sports so I also look rather athletic. I have hardly any wrinkles because I have moisturised my skin since I am a teenager. Furthermore I don't have any grey hair.

 

Put me next to the average overweight woman with kids in her thirties and there will be no doubt about who the more beautiful woman is.

I see women with young kids all the time who carry a lot more kilos with them and look a lot older than me.

 

For the rest I doubt that men don't care about education or being financially independent. Some might not but I think that a smart man with a good job certainly cares about having a woman he can be proud of. In my professional environment I certainly notice that being married with a SAHM is not having a positive influence on the status of a man. Being married with a woman with a succesful career has become a status symbol. And rightly so.

[Tony T]

I HOPE IN THIS THREAD WE CAN SHARE WITH EACH OTHER.

 

YOUR IDEAS, EXPERIENCES, etc

 

I must have had my horns out today. (It's been over a yr since hubby died). I saw this guy at the market. I was humming "I got a brand new pair of roller skates" by Melonie, and I saw this guy smiling as he helped his elderly father shop. He had a beard and was a bit scruffy-looking, and I felt this attraction to him and kept glancing at him while i was shopping, while scenarios ran through my mind like how I could bump into him. and i probably JUST NEED TO CALM DOWN AND GO HOME AND "TAKE CARE OF MYSELF" LOL.

 

He was behind me in checkout, but then I got called over to go to the next station. I kept myself closed off to him, because I was scared, of what, i dont know. maybe myself. I THOUGHT AFTERWARDS, i COULD HAVE JUST SAID SOMETHING TO HIM, LIKE HOW NICE IT WAS OF HIM TO TAKE HIS FATHER OUT SHOPPING, or I could have raced to put the shoppingcart back at he same time as him.

 

Then I told myself he's probably taken anyway.Guys who are attractive often have someone keeping them happy. Being happy and loved and loving is what makes ppl beautiful!

 

“Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been.” ― John Greenleaf Whittier, Maud Muller - Pamphlet