? child, shared custody, court, adv/my situationok

[haggard969]

Ok i will try and make this short i have a few questions. and ill explain my situation a bit. this is not about more current Ex but about my baby mom!

 

ok we were together for almost 5 years, then she ended up dumping me and saying she wanted to explore the world and see what else was out there blah blah, she ended up being with one of my friends for a month, then she dumped him , started dating another guy i knew and got married to him in las vegas, then she had a miscarrage and then got pregnant again and now she has a baby. all this happend within 4 months or so

 

. so as the months went by , i was hert n sad yea, but she harassed me like crazy, started threatening me , threatening to take my child away, she would try n say i couldnt see her, she was call me down and just be really rude, this crap went on for like 8 to 16 months. i fell into a depression because i couldnt understand why she all of a sudden dumped me and hated me so much., anyways

 

i lied and said i was recording everything she was saying n i was going to go to the police, the harassment stopped, finally.

 

then she went and got a lawyer and is now taking me to court. she has done alot of crazy things, and she tells my daughter alot of stuff that is not true. i have always taken care of my daughter Equally 50 50,i participate in all activities , docter, dentist, sports , school parent teacher, i by groceries n everything! we used to do every 4 or 3 days, on and off, now its an even week on n off , its been like this for a while, my daughter is now 7.

 

my questions are"

 

-my ex has been trying to "out do" me. she has taken my daughter to the doctor over 35 times this year, and she has been on so many antibiotics its wrecking her teeth, the dentist n my doctor told me(we take her to different doctors) will this make her look bad? or me? does it matter who takes her more? we both have fulll health coverage? She tries to say i owe her money for her taking her to the doctor? even though shes coverd?

 

-me n my ex both put her in activities. the first time my daughter went into an activitie i offered to pay half, my ex told me, eather i pay for everything or nothing. i chuckled n said w.e ill put her in my own things then. this year my ex has put my daughter in 5 different things, i put her in to 2 , n she thinks i have to pay half, of everything , when she didnt even discuss it with me?:S should i really owe her for this?

 

not to mention she has never once offered to help me out with anything!

 

anyways, all i want to know is, we have been sharing her equally since she was born, and ive put up with alot of crap, DO i have anything to worry about in court? like i am a really good dad to her n i do everything i can as equally as i can for my child, and my baby mom is just subborn and has hate and resentment towards me FOR no reason at all! so will they favor her just because she is female? im from canada by the way. just some advice if you can or your story thanks!?

[haggard969]

oh by the way, i am asking for equal shared custody because i know my daughter loves us both, she is asking for full custody and only wants me to have her every second weekend. which is out of the question, will i get what i ask for?

[alonefornow]

Ok i will try and make this short i have a few questions. and ill explain my situation a bit. this is not about more current Ex but about my baby mom!

 

ok we were together for almost 5 years, then she ended up dumping me and saying she wanted to explore the world and see what else was out there blah blah, she ended up being with one of my friends for a month, then she dumped him , started dating another guy i knew and got married to him in las vegas, then she had a miscarrage and then got pregnant again and now she has a baby. all this happend within 4 months or so

 

. so as the months went by , i was hert n sad yea, but she harassed me like crazy, started threatening me , threatening to take my child away, she would try n say i couldnt see her, she was call me down and just be really rude, this crap went on for like 8 to 16 months. i fell into a depression because i couldnt understand why she all of a sudden dumped me and hated me so much., anyways

 

i lied and said i was recording everything she was saying n i was going to go to the police, the harassment stopped, finally.

 

then she went and got a lawyer and is now taking me to court. she has done alot of crazy things, and she tells my daughter alot of stuff that is not true. i have always taken care of my daughter Equally 50 50,i participate in all activities , docter, dentist, sports , school parent teacher, i by groceries n everything! we used to do every 4 or 3 days, on and off, now its an even week on n off , its been like this for a while, my daughter is now 7.

 

Ok. Going to be real honest with you here because there's a child involved. All this **** quoted above is about your feelings towards your ex. Your questions are about your child (as they should be!). You need to separate these areas of concern. If you haven't already, you need to absolutely talk to a lawyer.

 

Talk to a lawyer.

 

Seriously talk to a lawyer.

 

After you've talked to a lawyer here's what you need to do. Forget about how your ex has treated you. What matters is your relationship with your child. Playing a game of who gave the kid what is a lose-lose proposition. You be the best dad you can be... and then be better than that. If you're really serious about being the father this kid needs, forget about your ex and what she has done/is doing to you and focus on that kid's needs.

 

Life isn't about keeping score, and being a parent isn't a competition. Talk to a lawyer and show them, and everybody, how focused you are on your kid's needs. Courts have come a long way in seeing that, but even if they hadn't what really matters here? Does it matter that you "win"? Or does it matter more that your child grows up with a loving, respectable father?