Im lost any guidance would be great!

[maximum1948]

Let me start out by saying that I am not a virgin and I have been with my current girlfriend for about 3 months now, she is my first girlfriend, and im her first serious boyfriend the most she has ever done with any other boy is kiss them. I am senior in high school, she's a junior, she is a great girl! cute, smart, never talks to other guys, would do anything for me, and just a very good person in general. Any guy would be die for her! Now the fun part, when we first started talking I knew how into me she was so there was no challenge and we started dating within the month. I know this sounds shallow and granted it is, but I was never really that into her, the whole reason that I started dating was because I enjoyed the attention and wanted to feal what it was like to have a girlfriend, and I knew I could get her to put out within 2 months.

 

So like I said we have been together 3 months now about a month and a half ago she let me finger her for the first time and she got really upset because she viewd and probably to an extent still views sex and sexual acts as dirty and wrong, and ended up crying herself to sleep that night. That kinda woke me up to the fact that I shouldn't take advantage of her, and I was going to breakup with her. Then she told me she loved me and I told her I loved her back, and I do love her, but not on a romantic level if that makes scene. So we continued dating and have done every thing there is to do sexually, but have actual sex.

 

Now the dilemma. She is my best friend and treats me so good, and I am the same to her, she says I treat her better that anyone else, and I do treat her good, and care about her! I love having someone who genuinely cares for and loves me in my life, and we get along great except for when I don't recipricate the love she shows me. I love her but I guess im just not "in love" with her, I wish I was, infact it breaks my heart that Im not and I have cried for the past 3 nights beacouse I feal so bad about it. Now She wants to have sex, but im not sure if i should. Shes very emotionally fragile and values her virginity very highly and I fear that if I did have sex with her she would get even more atached to me then she already is and when I decide to break up with her it would just crush her. I know the fact that I don't want to have sex with her is ****ing her head up and is probably reigniting underlying self esteem issues she has. So I guess my question for you all is what do you think I should do? I care about her very much and want to stay with her, but I don't think I am in love with her or I ever will be. Could I tell her that? Or should I just end it now? Or should I have sex with her?

 

Either way thanks for reading all of that I know it was long, and any imput would be much appreciate

[Phantomu]

if you are thinking about ending it then you better just stay away from the sex. She is a young lady so if you did go through with that and ended up breaking up with her then that would do more damage than good. If you care about her like you say then you shouldn't make her more attached if you are not willing to stay with her. There was a girl I dated when I was in HS and I was her first and she was mine. She loved me tons! But I ended up breaking up with her and she took it really bad. Like, it really messed her up. So if you care about her then you should avoid that because it wouldn't be a very nice thing to do.

[Lillyfree]

Let me start out by saying that I am not a virgin and I have been with my current girlfriend for about 3 months now, she is my first girlfriend, and im her first serious boyfriend the most she has ever done with any other boy is kiss them. I am senior in high school, she's a junior, she is a great girl! cute, smart, never talks to other guys, would do anything for me, and just a very good person in general. Any guy would be die for her! Now the fun part, when we first started talking I knew how into me she was so there was no challenge and we started dating within the month. I know this sounds shallow and granted it is, but I was never really that into her, the whole reason that I started dating was because I enjoyed the attention and wanted to feal what it was like to have a girlfriend, and I knew I could get her to put out within 2 months.

 

So like I said we have been together 3 months now about a month and a half ago she let me finger her for the first time and she got really upset because she viewd and probably to an extent still views sex and sexual acts as dirty and wrong, and ended up crying herself to sleep that night. That kinda woke me up to the fact that I shouldn't take advantage of her, and I was going to breakup with her. Then she told me she loved me and I told her I loved her back, and I do love her, but not on a romantic level if that makes scene. So we continued dating and have done every thing there is to do sexually, but have actual sex.

 

Now the dilemma. She is my best friend and treats me so good, and I am the same to her, she says I treat her better that anyone else, and I do treat her good, and care about her! I love having someone who genuinely cares for and loves me in my life, and we get along great except for when I don't recipricate the love she shows me. I love her but I guess im just not "in love" with her, I wish I was, infact it breaks my heart that Im not and I have cried for the past 3 nights beacouse I feal so bad about it. Now She wants to have sex, but im not sure if i should. Shes very emotionally fragile and values her virginity very highly and I fear that if I did have sex with her she would get even more atached to me then she already is and when I decide to break up with her it would just crush her. I know the fact that I don't want to have sex with her is ****ing her head up and is probably reigniting underlying self esteem issues she has. So I guess my question for you all is what do you think I should do? I care about her very much and want to stay with her, but I don't think I am in love with her or I ever will be. Could I tell her that? Or should I just end it now? Or should I have sex with her?

 

Either way thanks for reading all of that I know it was long, and any imput would be much appreciate

 

firstly, you might have posted in the wrong section, i believe your topic would be more suited to dating.

 

now, i've highlighted a few bits and pieces that screamed self-entitlement and douchebaggery to me. i understand you're young and immature, but c'mon.

 

simply put: her virginity means a lot to her, and i would say she'd prefer to lose it to someone who loves her. she could also be sensing that you're not 100% into this relationship and is using sex as a barganing chip...

you admit that you don't love her, not like she loves you. think it's time to break up and stop using her to feed your ego. in the end that's the kindest thing to do.

[Phantomu]

LillyFree is right.