trying4better Posted January 3, 2005 Share Posted January 3, 2005 I have been with my boyfriend for three years, and we had always been open and honest with each other. Although we have dealt with our ups and downs, we love each other and could work out our differences. In the past I have been a serial monogamist. I would fall for one person, be with them a year or so, and then a new and more 'suitable' suitor would come along and I almost always replaced the guy I was with. I was not honest about my feelings of attraction to this new person with the boyfriend I was with at the time. It was different with my current boyfriend, until now. Several weeks ago I developed a crush on a new friend, and I realized that I not only had a crush but an addiction. I crave the attention a potential love interest shows me. I don't know what this addiciton is labeled, but I've just realized what an incredible path of destruction this addiciton has left in my life. I've felt incredibly ashamed, weak and inadequate as a consequence of this discovery of myself. My newest crush follows the traditional pattern: he is attractive and compatible in ways that my boyfriend and I seem to have some differences. I hung out with him, not sexually, and lied to my boyfriend about it. My boyfriend and I were separated over the holidays, and I fooled around with an old friend and I lied to him about that incident as well. The old friend provided me with attention and made me feel special over the holidays. My boyfriend had to confront me about my behavior and essentially pull the truth out of me yesterday. In the past, I have not lied to my boyfriend. Understandably, he is hurting terribly right now and desperately wants to understand why I lied. I tried to explain that I was ashamed of my realization of this addiction for attention. I am going to seek counseling and do my best to repair myself. I truly love my boyfriend and I can't even to begin to explain the pain I feel for hurting him. Can I repair this, should he even consider giving me another chance? I desperately want to get help and become the partner he trully deserves: an honest partner again. Despite our differences we have such a special love for each other that doesn't come along every day. The pain from lying to him and hurting him so badly is almost unbearable. I've told him that I loved him, and I would desperately like another chance. However, I also told him that because I trully loved him, I understood if he needed to move on. I want what was is best for him. Presently, he is considering what to do. He is trying to sort through his feelings. Is there any hope for me to get past this addiciton and for him to be able to love and someday, trust me? Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted January 3, 2005 Share Posted January 3, 2005 Is there any hope for me to get past this addiciton and for him to be able to love and someday, trust me? Yes - if you both want to. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts