Haydn Posted December 18, 2013 Share Posted December 18, 2013 Do you really want to give your ex so much power? If i confronted my ex today with `what if questions` She would love it and i would be destroyed. Dont do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Zoe Lilith Posted December 18, 2013 Share Posted December 18, 2013 Do you really want to give your ex so much power? If i confronted my ex today with `what if questions` She would love it and i would be destroyed. Dont do it. ..for his own sake, I hope that he won't do it. I hope that he has realised by now that there is no "closure"...He won't get a legitimate answer! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bandito Posted December 18, 2013 Author Share Posted December 18, 2013 Do you really want to give your ex so much power? If i confronted my ex today with `what if questions` She would love it and i would be destroyed. Dont do it. you broken record... like i said, i'm not going to do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted December 18, 2013 Share Posted December 18, 2013 Good. (I dont own any records i am too young!) Link to post Share on other sites
Am4Real Posted December 18, 2013 Share Posted December 18, 2013 It happens all the time. Non-scientifically speaking...there are huge numbers of people in this forum telling us everything was perfect or near perfect and they have no idea what "got into their EX". Right, she or he just woke up one day and initiated a break up for no apparent reason...are you kidding me? They were debating it for days, weeks, or even months. Telling you "they love you" is their own battle...convincing themselves they love you, all the while secretly fighting an internal tug of war. Those words also help mask anything you might have noticed, it keeps you in the game. Look dude, she left, she is gone, she found someone she wanted to be with at this moment and it's NOT YOU. There...I just gave you the closure you're looking for. Done! no. i know i may seem indenial. but just 2 months before the breakup we were both in love, her telling me i'm the one, "i want to spend forever with you." she was planning our wedding, and wanted me to ask her dad for his blessing to marry her. i mean everyone knew we were meant for each other. then all the sudden she's not happy. i was shocked, and broken. she wanted us to make it work and didn't want to breakup, but it was getting to stressful for her, so she ended it. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bandito Posted December 19, 2013 Author Share Posted December 19, 2013 It happens all the time. Non-scientifically speaking...there are huge numbers of people in this forum telling us everything was perfect or near perfect and they have no idea what "got into their EX". Right, she or he just woke up one day and initiated a break up for no apparent reason...are you kidding me? They were debating it for days, weeks, or even months. Telling you "they love you" is their own battle...convincing themselves they love you, all the while secretly fighting an internal tug of war. Those words also help mask anything you might have noticed, it keeps you in the game. Look dude, she left, she is gone, she found someone she wanted to be with at this moment and it's NOT YOU. There...I just gave you the closure you're looking for. Done! ha, easier said than done. this is no quick fix like that. can't just put a band aid on this. it may have been done for her, but for me, it isn't over. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 ha, easier said than done. this is no quick fix like that. can't just put a band aid on this. it may have been done for her, but for me, it isn't over. Oh it's over, she's gone. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 ha, easier said than done. this is no quick fix like that. can't just put a band aid on this. it may have been done for her, but for me, it isn't over. The game is over, the fans have filed out, the jantorial crew is cleaning up...and you are still fully dressed in the locker room wondering when the 2nd half starts. Its over. Go home and prepare for the next game. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bandito Posted December 19, 2013 Author Share Posted December 19, 2013 stop with the corny analogies. i get it...i'm dead to her. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 stop with the corny analogies. i get it...i'm dead to her. I mean, that's what it's come down to. You keep posting in circles and don't end up going anywhere. When are you going to just stop this lunacy and commit to moving forward? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 stop with the corny analogies. i get it...i'm dead to her. Do you actually get it?? I see a bunch of pages that suggest otherwise. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Kizmet Fisher Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 stop with the corny analogies. i get it...i'm dead to her. Tough love doesn't help, people coddling you doesn't help, analogies don't help... At this point I don't think there's anything people can say to you to make you realise nothing about your relationship is of any relevance anymore because it's long over. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bandito Posted December 19, 2013 Author Share Posted December 19, 2013 i need to stop putting her up on a pedestal. we all agree now she's a heartless bitch, and i'm wasting my time and energy on her when i could be putting that into a new, better relationship. this IS dead now. whatever is going on with her, she knows her wrong doing, and karma is going to catch up with her. i didn't do anything wrong, i deserve so much better, so i'm letting go now. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Glad to hear it friend. Link to post Share on other sites
miguelcervantes Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 I have just read your entire thread and also some of your previous threads. I am sorry you are where you are at the moment but here is my perspective on this whole thing. Firstly, you already have the whole picture. It is quite simple and straightforward. She met you and the two of you hit it off. You being the attractive good guy and she being the hot girlfriend. Of course she was into you at the time and you had a good time together - hence the falling in love, planning marriage etc. There is no doubting any of this. Next comes her itchy feet and wanting to mess around. She meets someone new and decides to have an affair (pure and simple) like so many other wayward girlfriends. There is the excitement and taboo nature of this. At this point she rewrites your relationship history and needs to convince herself that there was never anything there so that she can continue with the cheating. I am sure that there were relationship problems like everyone else has but the main point is that you did not see this coming. This was because you did not expect her to cheat. Once the cheating started she did try and give you clues that (a) she would be leaving and (b) there was someone else by saying that there were other guys waiting in line. You didn't see this again, and started to wonder what was wrong with you and your relationship. There was nothing wrong with you that would merit this - just a good old fashioned case of her cheating. This should almost be posted in the infidelity forum. All her actions around the time confirm what was going on. Now you, unfortunately, find out after she has already gone and yes, she probably thinks that she moved on without too much of a confrontation. Had you found out before, it could have got quite messy - for her, her bf, her friends and family (especially those who assisted/enabled the affair) and your confrontation would have left her in a heap of ***** reputation wise. So now, she thinks that has passed and every time you try and resurrect it, she feels that she needs to quell it having got this far with no real consequences. So now, you want her to know that you know. I am probably going to get flamed for this, but there is nothing wrong with that. In my opinion, you should let her know that you know and also decide if you want to blow up her world or not. The only difference is in how I would put it to her - it would be exactly as I have said in this post. If you are going to tell her, make sure that it is put across as a straight forward case of nasty, ugly cheating and nothing else. No glorified discussion on relationship failure, love or any other such romantic notions or reasons. Just pure, ugly cheating and that is how you will always see it and if you decided to expose to all (including her toxic family) then this is how you would expose it. The proof you have is enough in my opinion but you could always do with more if you can get it. Once this is done, and you have come to terms with it being what it is (a nasty case of cheating), move on and become healthy and healed again! Good luck! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 The thread starter has gotten the answers they needed, the thread will be closed now. Thanks 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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