What is therapy like?

[lovebirds]

Hi. I'm considering seeing a therapist but I am quite nervous and don't know what this first time will be like. I also wonder where to start.

 

I have some issues, but overall I am a strong, positive and happy person. This is why therapy has never really seemed something I should pursue. But after coming out of a long-term relationship I want to make myself a better person.

 

I have really big problems with procrastination. Procrastination hasn't really destroyed anything in my future (I graduated on time with lots of effort) but it affects my wellbeing severely. It makes me feel bad about my day because I did not accomplish much. It makes me afraid to become a teacher because I will have to face self-imposed deadlines daily. I don't like being judged (e.g I avoid reading feedback on work I did) and I feel rejected by my dad. All are probably linked. And atm I feel lost and rejected and yearning because of the recent breakup, but that will probably pass.

 

I'm just looking for some reassurance. Is this the right step to take? I feel like the only thing stopping is me is a lack of funds. I wonder whether it's worth the money.

[KathyM]

It can be well worth the money if you find a good therapist. As far as what therapy is like, it depends on the therapist and what type of therapy they practice. Oftentimes, the therapist will specialize in a particular form of therapy. The first session is normally about getting background information and setting goals for therapy. The following sessions may involve delving into your childhood experiences and your past to see how they may have affected your present way of thinking and your functioning. The following sessions will depend on what form of therapy the therapist normally uses. Some forms mainly focus on the past. Some go into past events only briefly, but focus on altering engrained patterns of thinking and behaviors.

[d0nnivain]

First you have to find the right therapist. If your therapist doesn't understand you or used a method that doesn't work for you, it won't help. My 1st therapist was a blockhead.

 

My industry has a referral service which helped alot because I knew the therapist had a baseline of understanding. I also don't like therapists who charge for missed appointments, even if you have a good reason & give notice. I have no problem with charges when you just blow them off & waste their time.

 

You go into usually what is like a living room setting. You don't have to lie on a couch like in all the sitcoms. The therapist will ask you what brought you to therapy & you tell the person why you are there. In the first 1-2 sessions, the therapist will ask you questions about your background to get a sense of you & maybe the source of your trouble.

 

Throughout the process the therapist will ask questions designed to focus you on the root of your issue.

[FitChick]

Procrastination usually has to do with fear of failure. If you don't do something, you won't fail, right?

[Agent Orange]

All therapists have different approaches. I stopped seeing one therapist because she was trying to force me to talk about certain things that I wasn't ready to discuss. She also refused to see me every week and insisted on biweekly sessions. I also stopped seeing a different therapist because she was judgmental and hardly spoke.

 

I have to agree with Nyla on this one.

 

Personally, I had a very similar experience with a therapist who was judgmental - and this was after I'd been seeing her for years. I got to a point where I just withheld information for fear of being judged. Another (bad) one tried to persuade me that my depression and thoughts of suicide were God's way of telling me it wasn't my time which just made me really uncomfortable.

 

When you seek help, find a therapist whom you feel comfortable with. Be honest and don't be afraid of strong emotions.

 

Feeling comfortable with your therapist is crucial!! I'd never cried in front of any of my therapists (5 of them) until I started working with my current doctor (sixth time's a charm). With him I cried in the nearly all of the first few sessions. That's when I knew I'd found a good match and my life has been completely transformed since then. So if you find yourself welling up, or get that tight feeling in your throat - let it out. It's what you're paying them for.

 

To be honest, you might have to shop around until you find the right match which can be tricky with insurance limitations. It can be weird the first few times you meet, but you'll figure out pretty soon if they're the right person for you.

[Softie]

It's good to talk

[jimloveslips]

i thought that's why we were here, free therapy…?