Wambo Posted December 14, 2013 Share Posted December 14, 2013 Sorry for the short post. My NC was broken recently and I need some answers why this is happening. In my situation, both I and my ex Ap worked under the same roof and I do my best to give her maxium space as possible. In return she normally leave me alone. However she would come out of the woodwork, end the NC and then disappear from my life again for a month or so. My question is why is she ending NC only to run off again and not to restart the affair? Is it because she wants to leave the door open for me if her relationship fails or does she hope I would run back to her and restart the affair? Link to post Share on other sites
happy stillmore Posted December 14, 2013 Share Posted December 14, 2013 She is using you for validation. Just likes knowing you are still wanting her. Makes her feel good. Link to post Share on other sites
Goodbye Posted December 14, 2013 Share Posted December 14, 2013 I agree...validation. They don't want to mess up the home life, but like the uplifting feeling of knowing that they have an admirer out there. At least, that is what I think of my exMM breaking NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Snipercatt Posted December 14, 2013 Share Posted December 14, 2013 Whatever her reason, it is all about her and nothing about you. If she cared about you in a loving and mature manner she'd abide by NC. Next time, tell her to stop, and then ignore her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wambo Posted December 14, 2013 Author Share Posted December 14, 2013 It's possible it's validation but the break in the NC appear to be more accidental than planned. We accidently bumped into each other and she was happy to see me. I don't know if she having problems but since then she gone back to keeping her distance from me. Link to post Share on other sites
RickFox Posted December 14, 2013 Share Posted December 14, 2013 It's possible it's validation but the break in the NC appear to be more accidental than planned. We accidently bumped into each other and she was happy to see me. I don't know if she having problems but since then she gone back to keeping her distance from me. YOU accidentally bumped into her but you don't know whether she planned it or not. These women and men are schemers and do things that are well planned. Problem is not her anymore, it's you. You need to stop worrying about what she did, does, or has done and be done with her. you're only torturing yourself 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RickFox Posted December 14, 2013 Share Posted December 14, 2013 let me say that my xap told me she would go to where I shopped in the hopes I would show up so she could suddenly run into me. you both are addicted but in differing ways now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wambo Posted December 17, 2013 Author Share Posted December 17, 2013 RickFox, at the moment I'm having a very bad relationship with my current manager and there is also a family crisis I'm trying to support. The post affair situation isn't my priority but I rather not go through the NC process AGAIN while in the middle of two difficult situations. However you made a very interesting point if the encounter is staged or not. At first I thought this was unlikely but thinking about it there appears to be a strong possibility it was staged. I don't think it was planned in advance but she saw me at the checkouts and planned to cut me off as I'm making my way to the shop's exit. I started to think about work and why she haven't tried to pull something off there. Then it got me thinking some of the routes she take which often bypass me bit and a route I wouldn't normally take if I was going to her destination. However end of the day she knows what my stances are and they will not change. Link to post Share on other sites
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