BlueSun Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 Hello everyone! New to the forums & just wanted to check in. I'm newly separated of nearly 3 months & currently in process of seeking a divorce. Trying hard to negotiate assets & custody of our child in order to avoid litigation. Things are complicated due to the distance between us. I currently have our 3 y/o who he wants for 6 months of the year in another state. I believe it would be extremely traumatic for her to be so far from me for extended periods of time at such a young age. I moved to be closer to family & friends to my original state of residency. So basically right now just looking for support & a place to ask questions & vent as this process has already proven extremely stressful. Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 Do you think it's wise for your daughter to be away from each parent for that extended time? What's the plan when she starts school in a few years? Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 It would be great if your marriage originated in your home state - for divorce reasons (which, If I were you, I'd be on offense, and initiate first - then you always get to speak first - as Plantiff; and he has to defend himself - as DEFENDANT). That said, even in the new millennium - growing up 6 months in one place or state, and then growing up 6 months in another place or state is beyond our modern day reality TV shows. He would have to move closer. Someone has to have primary care in a situation like this - I don't even have kids, and can figure that out. Most likely, possession will end up being 9/10's of the law here (unless he can make you look terrible). I'd say, get a family structure set-up toot sweet. One that would bring tears to the Judge's eyes to break up. Have your attorney kill some time establishing this heartwrenching scenerio also. Your mom, dad, sister, brothers. It takes a community to raise a child(ren). You can't just rip them away from established family, friends, schools, activites, etc., for 6 months! And make sure there are a lot of activities and engagements that would have to go by the wayside (start them NOW)! He might get away with a summer if he is really proactive. And it is his right. That's my take. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr me to Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 My partner has done the same thing. I have went from being involved in every aspect of our children's lifes to just seeing them weekends. Her parents have took over my role as father and its not right. Obviously your husband loves your child and your child your husband. whatever he has done to you or you to him, why should the little one have to pay. Don't you owe it to your child to sit down and come to some mutual arrangement. Men get slated for abandoning there families but the ones who want to be included have no rights, well that's how it is in the uk nothing stopping my ex from taking our kids to the other side of the country and it scares the **** out of me. Link to post Share on other sites
BlametheIrish Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 My ex husband wanted to.do.one week on one week off. His attorney as well as mine told him how being away from one parent that long at that age (mines 3 too) is detrimental to our childs upbringing. If my ex husband cared enough to research custody agreements, he would have found tons pf information telling him that. In my state if I decided to move to a different state during the divorce it would have been a really bad idea for me as the laws up here say you can move within 100 miles. Anything farther than that requires,agreement from both parents. Consult a good attorney if you haven't already. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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