Jump to content

lifelong devotion to partner, possible?

newmoon

By newmoon,
in Marriage and Life Partnerships

 Share Followers 2

Recommended Posts

newmoon

newmoon

Posted
Posted (edited)

just a question for the (longer) married people... in your years of marriage have you been able to maintain the level of interest you had for your partner since the day you first met/became involved? for example, I think of Ronald Reagan and how for his entire life he was 100% devoted to Nancy - wrote her love letters every day, called her all the time, etc. even their kids have said they felt like their parents loved each other more than they loved the kids. it seems so romantic that a man (or woman) could keep that romantic nature/interest in a partner up for a lifetime of marriage. is it possible, do you think, for a man or woman to be highly interested in their partner forever, or is that just a romantic fantasy that only some are capable of? I'm not talking about maintaining the marriage and etc., but actually maintaining the romance ALL THE TIME

Edited by newmoon
Link to post
Share on other sites
HokeyReligions

HokeyReligions

Posted
Posted

Yes.

 

 

Unless you mean every second of every day. That is not humanly possible. But my hubby and I are closer now than ever. When we are out we constantly get comments and question how long we've been married because we laugh and touch like love struck newlyweds.

 

In the doctors office yesterday the nurse thought we'd been together a very short time and asked if this was our first Christmas together. Nope. Its our twenty-ninth.

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
Barrsitter

Barrsitter

Posted
Posted

I guess it depends on the couple. From my nearly 6 decades on this planet, I observe that such a couple that is truly devoted to each is few and far between. It's more that people stay together for the kids or the money. Most marriages are flat-lined. HokeyReligions...how nice for you. Consider yourself in the .01% of marriages that are worth staying in.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Debanked

Debanked

Posted
Posted

OP your example of Reagan's devotion is him PUTTING IN THE WORK to keep the spark going throughout the marriage. Too many people say "I do" to the person and not to the work it takes to maintain the marriage.

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
bwright42tx

bwright42tx

Posted
Posted

A marriage takes work. I feel more in love with my wife today than I have since the day we married. Other days, not as much, but it's still there. There will be ups and downs, but yes lifelong devotion is possible and achievable. I hope to keep feeling this way about my wife for the rest of our lives. I know it won't be constant every minute of everyday. But as long as we keep getting back to this feeling along the way I know we'll make it.

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
truthbetold

truthbetold

Posted
Posted

Yes it is.

 

But it's not some magic formula. It's consistent effort and choices. We get up each day and choose to love. Love is a verb it's a series of actions that then nurture the "in love". But no, its not 24/7 butterflies, however the bond does strengthen so our love continues to grow.

 

We put the marriage first with God at the center. The marriage needs to be first in order to be a model to the kids of what love, commitment and values look like. If you put the kids first the marriage can falter.

 

if you sit back and just want the falling in love feelings that you first had to continue, then you're going to constantly be chasing feelings and likely be disappointed and complain that love doesn't last.

 

That's likely the case in your example of the Reagan's. You made it sound like the kids felt somewhat unloved but that's not how love works. Love multiplies, it doesn't divide. It sounds like they made the choice and did the work to put the marriage first, so yes if you do that, lifelong devotion is possible.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun

Grumpybutfun

Posted
Posted

Ah, this is my kind of thread. Thanks for starting it. Devotion is something that enhances your LTR or marriage. As such, it is generally the thing that my wife and I try to maintain and work on the most. Our marriage is our number one priority and nothing else means as much because at the end of the day, she is the one I come home to. Yes, it is possible as long as it is prioritized. In fact I just got a text that said-

 

Two hours, thirteen minutes and forty- two seconds and you will be home. Doing the happy dance.

 

I just left this morning and am home everyday at about the same time. It took us two days to put up the Christmas tree because she got so overcome with emotion at each little thing we put on there sharing stories about this and that, and generally just being very grateful for me, our families and life together. (She had a very bleak childhood so this time of the year is very emotional for her.) I spent my entire weekend with her doing decorations even though I had plans for duck hunting because I could tell she wanted me to. There are few things I find more important than doing what makes her smile.

Best,

Grumps

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
bwright42tx

bwright42tx

Posted
Posted
Ah, this is my kind of thread. Thanks for starting it. Devotion is something that enhances your LTR or marriage. As such, it is generally the thing that my wife and I try to maintain and work on the most. Our marriage is our number one priority and nothing else means as much because at the end of the day, she is the one I come home to. Yes, it is possible as long as it is prioritized. In fact I just got a text that said-

 

Two hours, thirteen minutes and forty- two seconds and you will be home. Doing the happy dance.

 

I just left this morning and am home everyday at about the same time. It took us two days to put up the Christmas tree because she got so overcome with emotion at each little thing we put on there sharing stories about this and that, and generally just being very grateful for me, our families and life together. (She had a very bleak childhood so this time of the year is very emotional for her.) I spent my entire weekend with her doing decorations even though I had plans for duck hunting because I could tell she wanted me to. There are few things I find more important than doing what makes her smile.

Best,

Grumps

 

Not to Thread H/J, but given your wife's history, and your other thread on gifts, have you ever thought of "Sponsoring" a needy family for Christmas? My wife and i did this one year (her idea). We went out and spent about $200 on gifts, bought them, wrapped them, and delivered them to the parents along with a $100 gift card for food.

 

You could wrap a box with a couple of empty stockings in it, give that to your wife before Christmas, and explain the "gift" to her one she opens it . . . .

 

Back on topic:

 

My wife went on a road trip with a friend of hers to go see another friend of hers graduate from college. They borrowed my van for the trip, and left me her friend's clunker to drive for the week.

 

I posted a daily update to Facebook of 1 thing I missed about my Van and 1 thing I missed about my wife. . . .

 

They drove an extra 3-4 hours to get home a night early (at about 2 am) I wasn't expecting them until morning. My wife surprised me at 2:00 am waking me up wearing some very sexy lingerie. I guess she had missed me too.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 4 weeks later...
gamboolman

gamboolman

Posted
Posted

Good topic, this is my first post. Met my wife when she was 17 and I was nineteen. Yesterday was our 32nd wedding anniversary and I love her more as time goes on. We live life together and it is a grand adventure ! We have been and still are devoted to each other. I cannot put into words how to express how much I love her.

Link to post
Share on other sites
 Share
Followers 2
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...