Dog Woman Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 I have been looking at ways of blocking exMM from contacting me without having to change my phone numbers (which are published in my website, show catalogues and dog breeders lists due to my dog showing and breeding hobby). I had told exMM earlier this week never to contact me again following me ending our A months ago and exMM still contacting me since D day. I couldn't block texts just phone call on my mobile so I had decided I would upgrade my phone where I can block texts as well, without changing the number and I have changed my landline phone so it has caller display. This morning I got a text from exMM who is at a major dog show today telling me he had won with one of his dogs. I was very tempted to respond because I was genuinely pleased for him - his dogs are fantastic and he deserved to win - but I didn't and just ignored him and I made a call to my mobile provider to arrange a phone upgrade instead. The good news is I don't need to change the phone. A very helpful advisor talked me through how to block all texts and calls from a particular contact. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
moving2fast Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 Dog Woman, good for you! You're sticking to no contact, and even though his last text was a tempting reel-in, you stood your ground. I know its hard, and I'm glad you're not caving in. Sending you all the positive vibes and support possible through cyberspace. Stay awesome and take care. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dog Woman Posted January 8, 2014 Author Share Posted January 8, 2014 (edited) I've had a exMM free Christmas and New Year, no texts, no phone calls etc but Christmas wasn't a happy family time as my mother took seriously ill on Christmas Eve and spent all of Christmas and New Year in hospital. Luckily she is out of the woods and back home but the whole family have been shaken. So I haven't had time to think about exMM. I decided to take a break from the stresses of Christmas and go to a local dog show to switch off. Ex MM was there, not showing but just having a look around. I did allow him to talk to me when he approached me but was wary of his intentions. Luckily he seemed to be catching up with lots of people so I didn't see much of him. I was too busy catching up with contacts myself and showing my dogs. He did tell me though that he and his wife have separated and at the moment is busy sorting property and assets out. He said he had had a miserable Christmas. Again, I didn't take too much notice as I suspected he was trying to reel me back in again as he was evasive when I tried to ask questions but he did ask if I would go to a show in February and watch him judge. As it happens I am thinking of showing at that show to give my youngsters some experience so I wouldn't be going because he is going to be there. I'm trying to decide whether to unblock him and allow him to text me and see what happens. If he is telling the truth then it is possible he separated before Christmas. I haven't seen him for over 6 months and any texts I did get before I blocked him he was pretty persistent on seeing me - he just wouldn't say why. I like this guy very much, just don't want to be messed around by him again. Feedback from you would be appreciated. Edited January 8, 2014 by Dog Woman Link to post Share on other sites
experiencethedevine Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 I've had a exMM free Christmas and New Year, no texts, no phone calls etc but Christmas wasn't a happy family time as my mother took seriously ill on Christmas Eve and spent all of Christmas and New Year in hospital. Luckily she is out of the woods and back home but the whole family have been shaken. So I haven't had time to think about exMM. I decided to take a break from the stresses of Christmas and go to a local dog show to switch off. Ex MM was there, not showing but just having a look around. I did allow him to talk to me when he approached me but was wary of his intentions. Luckily he seemed to be catching up with lots of people so I didn't see much of him. I was too busy catching up with contacts myself and showing my dogs. He did tell me though that he and his wife have separated and at the moment is busy sorting property and assets out. He said he had had a miserable Christmas. Again, I didn't take too much notice as I suspected he was trying to reel me back in again as he was evasive when I tried to ask questions but he did ask if I would go to a show in February and watch him judge. As it happens I am thinking of showing at that show to give my youngsters some experience so I wouldn't be going because he is going to be there. I'm trying to decide whether to unblock him and allow him to text me and see what happens. If he is telling the truth then it is possible he separated before Christmas. I haven't seen him for over 6 months and any texts I did get before I blocked him he was pretty persistent on seeing me - he just wouldn't say why. I like this guy very much, just don't want to be messed around by him again. Feedback from you would be appreciated. Might I suggest you approach with extreme caution? He could be genuinely separated but I would step gingerly until you know the reality of his statements. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Whisper Quiet Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 Might I suggest you approach with extreme caution? He could be genuinely separated but I would step gingerly until you know the reality of his statements. ^^^^^ Agree with this. He needs to have a finalized D before he begins interacting with you again. IF he follow through with finalizing the D, he will find a way to contact you. Stay strong. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 I'm trying to decide whether to unblock him and allow him to text me and see what happens. If he is telling the truth then it is possible he separated before Christmas. I haven't seen him for over 6 months and any texts I did get before I blocked him he was pretty persistent on seeing me - he just wouldn't say why. I like this guy very much, just don't want to be messed around by him again. Feedback from you would be appreciated. DO not unblock him. You've gone 6 months NC, do 6 more because him separating means nothing until he is officially divorced. Last thing you need is to have him rely on you, back in your life, being the OW again as he is going through his divorce, being his shoulder and losing 'you' all over again. And that means it still all being about HIM. He needs to do this alone without you in his life so he can let go and grieve the loss of his marriage. So he can be on his own, grow on his own without relying on a woman to complete him. Remember why NC happened in the first place. Remember all the hard work you've done on yourself during those 6 months. Do you want to open the door again to all that craziness? Think realistically, not emotionally or with your heart. What if he isn't really separated with intention of divorce? What if this is his wife kicking him out and seeing if he'll straighten up? If you hadn't run into him, you wouldn't be thinking of opening that door again.. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dog Woman Posted January 8, 2014 Author Share Posted January 8, 2014 DO not unblock him. You've gone 6 months NC, do 6 more because him separating means nothing until he is officially divorced. Last thing you need is to have him rely on you, back in your life, being the OW again as he is going through his divorce, being his shoulder and losing 'you' all over again. And that means it still all being about HIM. He needs to do this alone without you in his life so he can let go and grieve the loss of his marriage. So he can be on his own, grow on his own without relying on a woman to complete him. Remember why NC happened in the first place. Remember all the hard work you've done on yourself during those 6 months. Do you want to open the door again to all that craziness? Think realistically, not emotionally or with your heart. What if he isn't really separated with intention of divorce? What if this is his wife kicking him out and seeing if he'll straighten up? If you hadn't run into him, you wouldn't be thinking of opening that door again.. Thank you. Have thought about this on and off throughout the day and I have decided to not unblock him and put him to the back of my mind. We live in the same area and tend go to the same shows locally. I'm only going to allow him to speak to me face to face if he sees me. I'm not going to do the chasing and I am not going to let him play any games. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
blue963 Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 Great decision really! You have the control 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dog Woman Posted January 8, 2014 Author Share Posted January 8, 2014 Great decision really! You have the control I intend to keep it that way. It's just over 12 months since he told me he was ill but hadn't been given a definite diagnosis. It was a nightmare being the OW during that time. His illness was/is genuine and not life threatening just life changing. During that time he looked to me for support but he was so confused by everything that he just about had me messed up emotionally. I'm not going to let that happen again. 95% of me believes him when he has said he has separated from his wife, I just don't want to get caught up in the emotional mess and certainly don't want to be named as a third party in any divorce proceedings. I agree, he has to go through this without my involvement. So I am going to keep my distance and see what happens over the coming months. If he wants me badly, like someone has already mentioned, he'll find a way of contacting me. I'll post on LS again if there are any developments as I think it is useful for all users to hear of eachothers experiences and perhaps learn something from them. Thank you everyone for your input, it is much appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts