Married 2 months. I'm not attracted to him anymore.

[whichwayisup]

We dated for 1 year and were engaged for 1 year. I definitely hear everyone's comments. I have not yet decided what I will do. I still see a lot of good qualities in him and all the reasons I married him. I just now also see a lot of really bad problems with him as well. He does just as much good as he does right. However it does affect my perception of him. Is it worth throwing away the good in our relationship because of the bad? I see so many posts about infidelity and bad attitudes and laziness. He wants us to work. Should I keep trying as long as he is trying?

 

Yes. Because you don't love him in the way a wife should love her husband, on all levels. The physical attraction wasn't there from the start, it isn't going to be there in 20 years from now. You could easily end up cheating on him one day..

 

Get an annulment. You two made a mistake by getting married and it's better to end it now before children are brought into this.. It'll hurt, both of you but you'll both be better off. He needs someone who loves ALL of him, in the bedroom as well. You aren't feeling it and that's a real problem 2 months in.

 

As for the other issues, you two fight a lot and that's not normal 3 years together to be arguing so much. He can try all he wants, it won't change how you physically feel towards him.

[Tiberius]

We dated for 1 year and were engaged for 1 year. I definitely hear everyone's comments. I have not yet decided what I will do. I still see a lot of good qualities in him and all the reasons I married him. I just now also see a lot of really bad problems with him as well. He does just as much good as he does right. However it does affect my perception of him. Is it worth throwing away the good in our relationship because of the bad? I see so many posts about infidelity and bad attitudes and laziness. He wants us to work. Should I keep trying as long as he is trying?

 

I guess your problem is you saw only what he had to offer, not whom he was. You should do the kind thing and tell him right away rather than lead him on untill you can claim half.

[hopeless21]

Thank you everyone for your suggestions. I'm currently going though individual counseling. I'm hoping that it will help me clear my mind of all the negativity I'm surrounded with at home and help me focus on exactly what it is I want. I'm at an exasperated point with my husband. He's still angry all the time. We do everything separately now, all the way down to cooking dinner for ourselves. We hardly talk anymore and if he's not sleeping in the other room we are sleeping on different sides of the bed. He's been pulling some passive aggressive stunts lately. I don't know if he's doing it just to be an ass or if there is something he's actually trying to say. Either way I'm way too stressed out mentally to deal with it. After working two jobs and selling plasma just to pay bills and still not be able to buy food I feel that I'm pretty much just numb to life right now. Ive lost weight, havent slept in a week, developed some irritating rash, and i dont see or talk to my friends anymore. I feel like my life is gone.

[MasonJarTeaDrinker]

We both love each other but I think he loves me more than i love him.

 

That's the problem right there, he is no longer a challenge I'm sure he's probably clingy and smothering. I'm sure if he started showing some distance and being uninterested then you would be all over him.

 

Men you have yo realize this, women don't want to feel like they have you in the bag, they want to feel like you're a challenge. Don't end up like this woman's husband.

[Eivuwan]

That's the problem right there, he is no longer a challenge I'm sure he's probably clingy and smothering. I'm sure if he started showing some distance and being uninterested then you would be all over him.

 

Men you have yo realize this, women don't want to feel like they have you in the bag, they want to feel like you're a challenge. Don't end up like this woman's husband.

 

I think you miss the part in which his financial issues cost all of her savings and is also making her have to sell plasma to make ends meet. Her actions show that she cares more than he does.

[Eivuwan]

Thank you everyone for your suggestions. I'm currently going though individual counseling. I'm hoping that it will help me clear my mind of all the negativity I'm surrounded with at home and help me focus on exactly what it is I want. I'm at an exasperated point with my husband. He's still angry all the time. We do everything separately now, all the way down to cooking dinner for ourselves. We hardly talk anymore and if he's not sleeping in the other room we are sleeping on different sides of the bed. He's been pulling some passive aggressive stunts lately. I don't know if he's doing it just to be an ass or if there is something he's actually trying to say. Either way I'm way too stressed out mentally to deal with it. After working two jobs and selling plasma just to pay bills and still not be able to buy food I feel that I'm pretty much just numb to life right now. Ive lost weight, havent slept in a week, developed some irritating rash, and i dont see or talk to my friends anymore. I feel like my life is gone.

 

OP I am glad that you are getting individual counseling. Honestly, given that this marriage is new and has already caused you to lose all your savings as well as your mental health, I question the benefits of staying in it.

[Fluttershy]

My husband and I got married 2 months ago. 2 weeks after the wedding i realize I don't want to have sex anymore. We've been arguing and fighting almost everyday since the wedding. We both love sex. We both love each other but I think he loves me more than i love him. He's a great man. He's an awesome father (we don't have kids together). He's thoughtful and helpful around the house. He would never cheat on me and I trust him. We have good communication. I'm just not attracted to him anymore. He still wants sex from me but I've had to force myself to do it just to shut him up. I dont want to divorce only 2 months into it. but i'm tired of masturbating. is all hope lost for us?

 

Thank you everyone for your responses. To be honest I was never actually physically attracted to him. I fell in love with his personality and the way he treated me. He is a very religious man and I'm not quite as pious as he is but I am very spiritual. A few months into our dating relationship we decided that we wanted to wait until marriage with each other to have sex again. When we first met I was fresh out of another relationship. Anyway, we thought waiting would uncomplicate emotions and make a married life more satisfying. All during our engagement we were battling all sorts of problems with family members and unemployment. We thought that because we were able to make it through all those problems that we were meant for each other. A week after the wedding, my husband went into a serious depression about finances. I found out that his debt was double what he originally told me it was and that he had been hiding how out of hand his bills had gotten while he was in between jobs (he's changed jobs 3 times this year). He was so depressed that he became blasphemous towards God and violent towards our pets. He never hit me or attempted to but his words did just as much damage. One of the main things I was attracted to him for was his faith. I ended up wiping out my checking account and my savings account and maxing out my credit cards trying to help him get caught up on everything but he's still behind. Anyway, I can hardly look him in the face anymore because I don't know what to think of him. He knows how I feel about everything and he says he is trying to manage his finances better. But I found evidence of more personal loans he took out behind my back after he promised me that he would talk to me before making any financial decisions. I'm just at the point where i feel like i don't know the person I married and I wonder if I can trust him. We were once happy but i feel like our relationship was based on lies.

 

@ Grumpybutfun - that was not my post

 

We dated for 1 year and were engaged for 1 year. I definitely hear everyone's comments. I have not yet decided what I will do. I still see a lot of good qualities in him and all the reasons I married him. I just now also see a lot of really bad problems with him as well. He does just as much good as he does right. However it does affect my perception of him. Is it worth throwing away the good in our relationship because of the bad? I see so many posts about infidelity and bad attitudes and laziness. He wants us to work. Should I keep trying as long as he is trying?

 

Thank you everyone for your suggestions. I'm currently going though individual counseling. I'm hoping that it will help me clear my mind of all the negativity I'm surrounded with at home and help me focus on exactly what it is I want. I'm at an exasperated point with my husband. He's still angry all the time. We do everything separately now, all the way down to cooking dinner for ourselves. We hardly talk anymore and if he's not sleeping in the other room we are sleeping on different sides of the bed. He's been pulling some passive aggressive stunts lately. I don't know if he's doing it just to be an ass or if there is something he's actually trying to say. Either way I'm way too stressed out mentally to deal with it. After working two jobs and selling plasma just to pay bills and still not be able to buy food I feel that I'm pretty much just numb to life right now. Ive lost weight, havent slept in a week, developed some irritating rash, and i dont see or talk to my friends anymore. I feel like my life is gone.

 

This doesn't fully add up. Are you being completely honest with us/yourself?