I am a crazy person

[veritas lux mea]

Just went to a party with my family and my xMM and his wife and girlfriend were there. I thought they wouldn't be but apparently one shouldn't block people so they can know when they will show up at events. Who knew? I was nervous but my husband said he was fine and so we stayed. I avoided xMM like he was contageous but as the evening wore on... I was forced to interact with him a couple times in order to be civil and my reaction was to be civil. Not forced. Then he kept raising his eyebrows at me if I happened to glance in a direction he tuned out to be. I couldnt stare at the floor all night. I would look away quickly. Then he did something that I couldn't understand at all. He sat next to me! With my husband sitting on my other side! And started talking to me. I felt no attraction for him and felt a little floored by that as I thought I still had feelings for him. At the most his presence made me nervous. The conversation was civil and i decided he was just trying to act like nothing untoward had ever happened.

 

But then I was coming down the hallway and he met me in the hallway. And he looked at me. Are affair started with very intense looks and it felt like he game me one of those. I just looked at him passively and brushed pashed him like nothing happened. Then I wondered if he wanted to restart our A.

 

It appears he is in a polyamorous relationship now. Everyone knows his wife and him have sex with this woman and she is always with them. He was all over her at the party and treated her like his. So logically if he has a wife and a girlfriend I really doubt he is interested in me. I am way hotter than the girlfriend but I never thought xMM cared much about looks.

 

I know everyone will just tell me to not think about it and let it go but I am super curious what he was thinking. I am such a mouse I wish I would have just asked him what was up. I almost want him to try something becuse it would be a great ego boost and more importantly I could shut him down as fast as lightening.

[Cinnimon]

Just went to a party with my family and my xMM and his wife and girlfriend were there. I thought they wouldn't be but apparently one shouldn't block people so they can know when they will show up at events. Who knew? I was nervous but my husband said he was fine and so we stayed. I avoided xMM like he was contageous but as the evening wore on... I was forced to interact with him a couple times in order to be civil and my reaction was to be civil. Not forced. Then he kept raising his eyebrows at me if I happened to glance in a direction he tuned out to be. I couldnt stare at the floor all night. I would look away quickly. Then he did something that I couldn't understand at all. He sat next to me! With my husband sitting on my other side! And started talking to me. I felt no attraction for him and felt a little floored by that as I thought I still had feelings for him. At the most his presence made me nervous. The conversation was civil and i decided he was just trying to act like nothing untoward had ever happened.

 

But then I was coming down the hallway and he met me in the hallway. And he looked at me. Are affair started with very intense looks and it felt like he game me one of those. I just looked at him passively and brushed pashed him like nothing happened. Then I wondered if he wanted to restart our A.

 

It appears he is in a polyamorous relationship now. Everyone knows his wife and him have sex with this woman and she is always with them. He was all over her at the party and treated her like his. So logically if he has a wife and a girlfriend I really doubt he is interested in me. I am way hotter than the girlfriend but I never thought xMM cared much about looks.

 

I know everyone will just tell me to not think about it and let it go but I am super curious what he was thinking. I am such a mouse I wish I would have just asked him what was up. I almost want him to try something becuse it would be a great ego boost and more importantly I could shut him down as fast as lightening.

 

I think you should have vomited on his shoes.......Gewww

[veritas lux mea]

I think you should have vomited on his shoes.......Gewww

 

My big regret is that I didn't do something. I didn't want to embarrass my husband but afterwards he said he would have backed me a 100%. I always am nicer to people than I want to be. Such a doormat.

[Owl]

Why was your husband ok with this?

 

Does he know the full truth of your affair and the whole situation?

 

Sorry...I can't imagine a husband who'd sit there passively and let his wife's ex affair partner sit next to her.

[veritas lux mea]

Why was your husband ok with this?

 

Does he know the full truth of your affair and the whole situation?

 

Sorry...I can't imagine a husband who'd sit there passively and let his wife's ex affair partner sit next to her.

 

My husband knows all the details but he doesn't know about my inner conflict over missing the affair and regretting its end. Which I actually think was more of a fantasy because seeing him I was like "eww".

 

He didn't care and I asked him because my husband had been drinking a bit. xMM was a sitting next to me but no where near touching me not even "accidently". xMM was being polite and well behaved so my husband felt no need to do otherwise. No one knows about the affair so no one would think anything of xMM sitting next to me. And my husband believes that xMM is a narsist and would thrive off any negative attention given to him. I tend to agree and in fact thinking about it wouldn't be surprised if he sat by me in order to get a reaction.

 

I could have gotten up and left but as i said I am a mouse and never do anything confrontational when there is a group. I am very easily intimidated.

[veryhappy]

Oh please don't be naive. He's feeling on top of the world in his open marriage. Would it hurt to play with you in addition?

 

Can you say where you are located? Just curious with him being so public about his girlfriend and going out as a trio.

[AlwaysGrowing]

You need to look at why getting validation from xMM appeals to you.

 

Healthy people would never seek validation from someone that they don't like, let alone don't respect.

 

What would it mean...if xMM was still interested? Do you really care? Would it change anything for you? How would it make you feel good, to turn down such a lowlife to begin with? He shouldn't even be on your radar as having anywhere near that importance. Walking away from such a person, should be a no-brainer, so where is the validation in something that doesn't hold value to begin with?

[veritas lux mea]

Oh please don't be naive. He's feeling on top of the world in his open marriage. Would it hurt to play with you in addition?

 

Can you say where you are located? Just curious with him being so public about his girlfriend and going out as a trio.

 

I think that wanting three women, one against your wife's wishes, is a whole lot of female to deal with.

 

I live in Western Canada in a small city a fair distance from any major cities.

[veritas lux mea]

You need to look at why getting validation from xMM appeals to you.

 

Healthy people would never seek validation from someone that they don't like, let alone don't respect.

 

What would it mean...if xMM was still interested? Do you really care? Would it change anything for you? How would it make you feel good, to turn down such a lowlife to begin with? He shouldn't even be on your radar as having anywhere near that importance. Walking away from such a person, should be a no-brainer, so where is the validation in something that doesn't hold value to begin with?

 

When my affair ended it was because i becam desperate and needy and xMm rubbed it in my face and gloated about it. So I'm just being honest when I say I would enjoy shutting him down. Almost like a do over of sort because round one I was a pathetic little puppy dog who bent over backwards to please him.

[AlwaysGrowing]

When my affair ended it was because i becam desperate and needy and xMm rubbed it in my face and gloated about it. So I'm just being honest when I say I would enjoy shutting him down. Almost like a do over of sort because round one I was a pathetic little puppy dog who bent over backwards to please him.

 

 

"you don't get another chance, life is no Nintendo game"

 

We all have things we wished we had/hadn't done in our lives. Sometimes, we can revisit and make different choices/amends. Others are best left alone. Take the lessons, and vow to do better.

 

If you revisit this, you are saying..that this xMM means something to you. That he has something that you want. Even if it is a tiny bit of his emotions of being rejected by you. That you have placed VALUE on rejecting him.

 

The best way to recover that part of yourself that you feel you handed him, is to never give him ANY part of you. Not a thought, not an emotion..not anything.

 

You do not have to prove yourself. Trust...trust in your own knowledge..that you are no longer that "puppy dog". Know your worth, and your worth is not determined by xMM or any past you might have. Your worth..is the value that you have set today.

[Eggplant]

I was forced to interact with him a couple times in order to be civil and my reaction was to be civil.

No, I'd forget civility. No need to be too civil. If he sits next to you, get up and sit elsewhere.

[whichwayisup]

When my affair ended it was because i becam desperate and needy and xMm rubbed it in my face and gloated about it. So I'm just being honest when I say I would enjoy shutting him down. Almost like a do over of sort because round one I was a pathetic little puppy dog who bent over backwards to please him.

 

He is a master player, do not try to even go there and try to play him. He will eat you up and spit you out!

 

My advice to you is ignore him and stop letting your ego (yes it is ego related) get the best of you.

 

Silence is golden, it gives YOU power, taking control of "you" again and basically f.k anything he thinks or feels. He's been a real sh.t to him so forget him. He ain't worth it. And, he isn't who you thought he was, so kill off that fantasy.