BlessYourCottonSocks Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 I keep feeling like an awful person for just leaving his house out of nowhere and ignoring his text he sent me at 1am: I hope you're safe. Where did you move? And who helped you move?Why do I feel guilty and like a bad person? Why do I feel this pain? Should I just say something like, "I'm okay, thank you." Help! Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 Oh yeah leave it, ignore it drive him nuts with wanting to know lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mariposa10 Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 Stop saying "out of nowhere." People are gonna think you left a wonderful relationship/man without saying anything. One does not have to be a genius to know this was bound to happen. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 Jesus christ CottonSocks, get your sh*t together. You finally made a move that show strength and resolve -- don't go back to being a wussy mary pushover. And for Christ's sake BLOCK HIS NUMBER. Why haven't you done that already? You should have done that the instant you left his place. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
chris21422 Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 ignoreeeeeeeeeeeeee you will regret it!!! I know you will not listen to us anyway so go ahead!!!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 10 bucks says she texts him back -- either about this or the other. Another 10 bucks says she hooks up with him before the New Year. I just don't see this saga ending soon -- I think she has to be drug through the mud some more before she realizes how toxic and destructive this whole thing is and wants to be rid of it. Getting some major youngnlove vibe from this one. I hope I'm wrong. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
seekingpeaceinlove Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 May I remind you that you WANTED THIS REACTION. You wanted to shock him and have the "final say." You wanted him wondering where you went. So...you got what you wanted. Own it. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
fixing Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 Seriously, if you send him a text. I will not bother offering my time and energy into your struggle. I know that probably means nothing to you. But its true. Ive been following your story from the start. But enough is enough now. Dont send a thing to him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 I felt that ages ago. Of course it's her. The writing style is a dead giveaway. She's not as flowery, but the naiveity, stubborn nature and uber-defensiveness are similar. She's kind of a Diet youngnlove. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
reddragon588 Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 Do it. You sound like your mind is already made up anyway, why bother listening to logic? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlessYourCottonSocks Posted December 17, 2013 Author Share Posted December 17, 2013 She's not as flowery, but the naiveity, stubborn nature and uber-defensiveness are similar. She's kind of a Diet youngnlove. What do you mean by this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlessYourCottonSocks Posted December 17, 2013 Author Share Posted December 17, 2013 Do it. You sound like your mind is already made up anyway, why bother listening to logic? It actually wasn't made up. I came here first, isn't that what I'm supposed to do when I get an urge? I see people who seek guidance in their weak moments on here all the time and they don't get yelled at. I don't understand why I am... I haven't texted..but I feel like why bother being on here if I can't be honest with my feelings. Goly. Next time I get an urge, I'll just keep my mouth shut instead of getting yelled at on here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlessYourCottonSocks Posted December 17, 2013 Author Share Posted December 17, 2013 I felt that ages ago. Of course it's her. The writing style is a dead giveaway. What does younglove mean?? Because I'm young?? I'm SO confused? Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 Ease up my friend, what you are currently feeling is perfectly normal. Ride through this wave which indeed is a bad one, you will soon realize that it does get better. Hang tight and diligently keep your emotions in check of course vent, however, vent to us we are here to help, we are here to provide you with objectivism and we are the ones who can resonate with your pain. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlessYourCottonSocks Posted December 17, 2013 Author Share Posted December 17, 2013 Ease up my friend, what you are currently feeling is perfectly normal. Ride through this wave which indeed is a bad one, you will soon realize that it does get better. Hang tight and diligently keep your emotions in check of course vent, however, vent to us we are here to help, we are here to provide you with objectivism and we are the ones who can resonate with your pain. Thankss I understand, I just come here and feel attacked sometimes and I don't know why. I didn't want to contact him because I know it's the wrong thing so I was hoping I would be talked out of it. I came here to get help and right away everyone says to contact him because I'll do it anyways and they are making bets that I will. I think that is very mean. These are my emotions. I just feel like from now on I'll keep things to myself and ride the waves. Thanks for the help though..! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MrMeh Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 Toughen up and have some integrity kid. You can do it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 Thankss I understand, I just come here and feel attacked sometimes and I don't know why. I didn't want to contact him because I know it's the wrong thing so I was hoping I would be talked out of it. I came here to get help and right away everyone says to contact him because I'll do it anyways and they are making bets that I will. I think that is very mean. These are my emotions. I just feel like from now on I'll keep things to myself and ride the waves. Thanks for the help though..! Get it all out, we all develop scars from this but that's what makes us stronger for future encounters. We are all here for you, we are all here for each other. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
chris21422 Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 Cotton I apologize if you feel attacked through what I said. Trust me I wish someone shouted at me to not reply to my ex when she contacted me. What did I do when she messaged? I replied.. And I regret it afterwards cause they are just pointless contact. I hope your not taking it the wrong way that we are helping you here. Sometimes all we need is harsh advice from people.. trust me sometimes thats what we need for your urge to respond will be gone. So do us all a favor and don't respond to him ok? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 Thankss I understand, I just come here and feel attacked sometimes and I don't know why. I didn't want to contact him because I know it's the wrong thing so I was hoping I would be talked out of it. I came here to get help and right away everyone says to contact him because I'll do it anyways and they are making bets that I will. I think that is very mean. These are my emotions. I just feel like from now on I'll keep things to myself and ride the waves. Thanks for the help though..! You remind us of a notorious poster named youngnlove. She'd come on here, spew all these emotions, then when push came to shove, she'd disregard advice, fold, then lash out at posters who were critical of her for doing such things. She was an absolute wreck that had no impulse control, was defensive all the time even when not being attacked, would disappear then reappear telling the same story yet would be shocked when we'd give her the same advice. She also started a troll account and got on here telling a similar story and reacted like a spaz once everyone figured out it was her. But most importantly, she kept on going back to a man that treated her the exactly same way your guy treats you. I think she said there were 16 breakups. Anyway, none of us want to see you go down that route but we are skeptical that you will. Multiple red flags have gone up just in the past 48 hours. 1) Having sex with him. 2) Not blocking his phone number right away or changing your phone number, which allowed his text to get through. 3) Your reaction to the text. You said before you left his house that you wanted to get this text. You get a text (which wasn't really even much of a text) and you freak out. I just see him breaking you down by acting nice. I hope to hell I'm wrong. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 Cotton- you have so much potential, you have in in you, you are a fighter, you are a survivor whether you like to agree or not. I believe in you! you are in this for the long run, take deep breaths, we will walk you through anything. YOU are committed. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 (edited) NC is like going through withdrawals for an addiction. You have to vehemently fight the urge to contact in the early stages until it becomes a habit. If you stay in contact, you are just hanging around to keep verifying that the person hasn't changed one bit. I wish so badly that I had stopped all contact with my ex, but I kept at it with those b*ll**** texts. I kept responding to the garbage he sent. Like I said, the only purpose it served was to continue to verify that he hadn't changed. He still didn't want a relationship; he just wanted the fringe benefits of a relationship without actually showing up for the the relationship. I was in LC for 4 months. I'm ashamed to even admit that, but I want you to understand how detrimental it is to keep up contact. My ex and yours have been very clear. They do not desire a relationship. Don't hang around and protract your pain. Everyday, I had to repeat the truth to myself. The truth is that it's better to be single that to go back to the situation I was in. The truth is that my ex does not want a relationship with me. It grounds you in reality and reminds you why you maintain NC. Edited December 17, 2013 by BC1980 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 Cotten just think about this. He is probably out meeting other girls right now because that's the type of person he is. Don't bother getting back to him. Remember if he wanted you he would have done everything/anything to make you stay and he didn't. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 I know you are scared to move on and walk away from your situation as the pain of having them there is better then not having them at all. But seriously, if you follow the advice given to you here move forward and do the right things for yourself. I think you need to avoid contact completely for yourself. Picture what you would say to me if I was telling you the same thing? Put your emotions aside for a minute and think about it...I know you would give me the right advice. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 I kept wondering if it was YNL as well. You feel rude that you didn't reply and just vanished? I bet he didn't feel bad one bit when he told you he'd be going out to look for tight pussy. Keep things in perspective, think about things before you react on your emotions. Whenever you start to feel bad or guilty, write a list of the many times he hurt you without ever caring for your feelings. You'll start realize he doesn't warrant any courtesies from you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
anna121 Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 Cotton socks - Please block his number. Can you do that? You will feel much better MUCH sooner if you do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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