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My Friends Say I Am Losing My Mind... Am I?

Lizzie345

By Lizzie345,
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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Lizzie345

Lizzie345

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Ok, so here it goes. This stupid 'situation' should i call it, has been eating away at me for over a year and the time has come for me to realize i really need help/advice/opinions.

 

So, November 2012 i started my new job in retail and on my 4/5th day of working there i met a guy. The day i met him he made me laugh so much, to the point where i was in tears. He was not good looking and far from the type of guy that i usually went for, but i suppose that and his amazing personality was what drew me to him.

 

That day when i got home from work i instantly added him on Facebook, not in hope that a relationship would happen, but just because he made me laugh etc. The day i added him he in-boxed me and we swapped numbers. After that we spoke several times a week over text and would see each other in work. As the months went by i began to gather strong feelings for him and it was evident he did for me, as he would drop little hints over text 'your beautiful' 'i need to take you out sometime'.

 

Then i'd go out with friends and get drunk, then end up phoning him and pleading my love for him. Similarly, he did the same when he was drunk. His birthday came and i bought him presents, my birthday came and he bought me presents. People at work would joke about me and him, but never thought anything serious of it. But by April/May i could not keep my mind of him, i would get butterflies when i saw him and find myself sat watching my phone every night waiting for him to text or call.

 

It got to around September and over text he would say that hes going to take me away on a holiday etc or even on a date, but it never happened. Then one day, he popped up telling me that he'd took a girl out on a date several times and she likes him, however he feels he cant go further because his heart is for someone else (me). As soon as he dropped this bomb shell on me i felt my heart had broke into a million pieces. It had been a year and we'd been talking constantly, i think about him all the time, yet he takes another girl out? but then says he wants me?

 

Its now December 2013. And every day and night, i find myself sat in my room, alone, not even wanting to talk to anybody, just constantly waiting for him to pop up. A few weeks ago we had the work Christmas party and prior to this he had always dropped hints over text about how much he wants to kiss me and even make to love to me. At the Christmas party i got very drunk (purposely as i knew he would be there). It got to the middle of the night and we were sat together, both drunk and flirting. And then i went into kiss him and he turned me down. Yet he pops up the next day, saying how beautiful i looked and how he cant sleep at night because im on his mind. And to make matters worse, i find out he went to a club after the party and kissed another girl!!

 

I just feel like hes playing with my head, but its working. All i ever think about is him, every day, wanting him to speak to me, but he doesn't. I'm currently studying Law at College and find myself becoming less concentrated on my work, as he is constantly on my mind. It gets to the point where i even purposely get drunk, just so i have the confidence to speak to him or phone him. He is the first guy i have spoke to without kissing, having sex etc. yet still remained completely in love with, even though our friendship has not developed. I try speaking to other people but i cant, hes always on my mind.

 

I don't know what to do with myself. I need advice or help, just something. I really don't know what to do.

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whichwayisup

whichwayisup

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Same could be said about you! You are playing him as well.

 

Seems you both enjoy the thrill of the chase, the flirting and ego feed. Though you telling him you love him? You DON'T KNOW him..At all. Not been on any dates, just been one big cat and mouse chase/game.

 

A year, and still nothing. Give up forget him and move on with your life. Saying you'll date or go on holidays never happens, so why are you sticking around for table scraps? Where's your self respect?

 

Not sure if you posted this in the wrong place? Is he single or married? I assume he is married if you did post this here..So my advice either way is, RUN. Find another guy who is single and not such a player.

 

This guy is a big waste of your time. It's been a year, things are still the same, which isn't much..Give that some thought.

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whichwayisup

whichwayisup

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Why do guys do this :( that explains a lot though that he loves the attention. He makes it out like he's a troubled soul etc!!!

 

He know he can manipulate you. He can read you like a book and you fall for it every time.

 

Even now I'm sure in your head you're making excuses or trying to justify his behaviour, hoping that he'll change and be into only you.

 

So you have feelings for him, he makes you feel good and/or you're wildly attracted to him - All that means absolutely NOTHING to him as he is not in love nor has he any plans to. Sorry to be blunt, but I really want you to wake up and see your situation for what it is. End it and grieve the loss, let of the fantasy of who you've built him up to be in your head -That man does not exist. The man in front of you is scummy and a player.

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Lizzie345

Lizzie345

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Ok, so here it goes. This stupid 'situation' should i call it, has been eating away at me for over a year and the time has come for me to realize i really need help/advice/opinions.

 

So, November 2012 i started my new job in retail and on my 4/5th day of working there i met a guy. The day i met him he made me laugh so much, to the point where i was in tears. He was not good looking and far from the type of guy that i usually went for, but i suppose that and his amazing personality was what drew me to him.

 

That day when i got home from work i instantly added him on Facebook, not in hope that a relationship would happen, but just because he made me laugh etc. The day i added him he in-boxed me and we swapped numbers. After that we spoke several times a week over text and would see each other in work. As the months went by i began to gather strong feelings for him and it was evident he did for me, as he would drop little hints over text 'your beautiful' 'i need to take you out sometime'.

 

Then i'd go out with friends and get drunk, then end up phoning him and pleading my love for him. Similarly, he did the same when he was drunk. His birthday came and i bought him presents, my birthday came and he bought me presents. People at work would joke about me and him, but never thought anything serious of it. But by April/May i could not keep my mind of him, i would get butterflies when i saw him and find myself sat watching my phone every night waiting for him to text or call.

 

It got to around September and over text he would say that hes going to take me away on a holiday etc or even on a date, but it never happened. Then one day, he popped up telling me that he'd took a girl out on a date several times and she likes him, however he feels he cant go further because his heart is for someone else (me). As soon as he dropped this bomb shell on me i felt my heart had broke into a million pieces. It had been a year and we'd been talking constantly, i think about him all the time, yet he takes another girl out? but then says he wants me?

 

Its now December 2013. And every day and night, i find myself sat in my room, alone, not even wanting to talk to anybody, just constantly waiting for him to pop up. A few weeks ago we had the work Christmas party and prior to this he had always dropped hints over text about how much he wants to kiss me and even make to love to me. At the Christmas party i got very drunk (purposely as i knew he would be there). It got to the middle of the night and we were sat together, both drunk and flirting. And then i went into kiss him and he turned me down. Yet he pops up the next day, saying how beautiful i looked and how he cant sleep at night because im on his mind. And to make matters worse, i find out he went to a club after the party and kissed another girl!!

 

I just feel like hes playing with my head, but its working. All i ever think about is him, every day, wanting him to speak to me, but he doesn't. I'm currently studying Law at College and find myself becoming less concentrated on my work, as he is constantly on my mind. It gets to the point where i even purposely get drunk, just so i have the confidence to speak to him or phone him. He is the first guy i have spoke to without kissing, having sex etc. yet still remained completely in love with, even though our friendship has not developed. I try speaking to other people but i cant, hes always on my mind.

 

I don't know what to do with myself. I need advice or help, just something. I really don't know what to do.

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ktya

ktya

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If you tried to kiss him and he pushed you away then kissed another girl later that night he is either :

 

- figures you were drunk and you are out of his league

- is not into you

- was just totally stunned

 

Ask him about it. Not the other girl but ask him why he pushed you away for a kiss.

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whichwayisup

whichwayisup

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Thanks for all the help and advice!!!

However, i've posted this on the wrong thread.. he is not married and neither am i!

 

my mistake :|

 

Okay..

 

All my advice still stands. I hope you 'hear' what we've all said and really consider walking away from this guy. You've invested (wasted) a year of your life chasing someone who has no interest in settling down or being "just" yours.

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