Have I Made A big mistake? *confused*

[James19]

Hello fellow forum people.

Just wondering if people could offer advice on my situation to maby help me clear my head a little and sort myself out a bit...

 

Ill start from the start, I was with a girl for 11 months, during this period she feel pregnant but about 3 months into the pregnancy is when she broke up with me due to constant arguments and bickering etc. (we were not living 2 gether at the time).

 

During that 11 month period, she was often bitchy and rude to me, and did sometimes treat me poorly etc. But instead of standing up for myself etc, I just took it and hoped it would pass etc.

 

After about 5 months of being broken up, I start dating a new girl, who is really nice, one of the type who will be there for you, really sweet and do anything to help etc.

 

Now things going along pretty good, then my son is born. Visiting my son, (and obviously my ex) twice a week, had me thinking what it would be like to be back with her, and wondering whether I still had feelings for her. She brings this up one time and mentions how she would like to give it another go and try and make a family of it all, and apoligised for a lot of stuff she had said and done in the past.

 

Me, well being confused, rushed into it, breaking up with my then current girlfriend, to go back with ex who has my child. Thinking it was best for my son, and I would regret it if I didnt at least try another time to see if it would work etc.

 

Now only a week into it, I have got myself questioning myself and missing my other ex (girlfriend of 2 months) and how nice she was, so now im confused whether I made a big mistake about it all, or if i did the write thing for my sons sake to at least try, But now in turn have proberly stuffed up any chance with this other girl who is really nice.

 

And thinking about it, if my son wasnt involved, I would proberly choose my ex without my son, due to finding her a lot nicer etc.

 

Have I made a mistake? or what are your thoughts:S

[innocntlisy1981]

my paretns stayed together throughout my childhood just because of us kids and quite frankly wouldve prefered to have sepearted parents than live with ones that fight and bicker all the time.if the child wasnt involved which it is and u prefer the other girl then thats what u should do.u cant always revolve ur life around ur children they are gunna grow up and leave u one day and at the end of it all u are stuck in a misery and wasted your life away .you can be there for your child and be a good dad without being with the mum i truly believe that!but now that u have gone back you cant exactly bail strait away considering you havent even made an effort yet.ce is yours id go with the girl you have been with for 2 months she sounds better for you good luck!

[chica]

I think it's good that you are giving it a shot.

 

However, you may have had the right gut-feeling when you broke it off initially.

 

Give it some time, be patient and honest. Don't ake crap just because of the situation. How is she being towards you now?

 

If it doesn't work out at least you will know that you gave it your best shot. I think you would feel pretty bad if you didn't try. Although you say she is really nice, I odn't think the other girl is what's important right now. If she is, she'll be around further down the track.

 

Good luck

[Sharmaine]

I agree with everything nnocntlisy1981 said.

 

You could still be a good father to your son, without having to be with the mother full time, if that isn't what you really want. To me, it sounds as though she really isn't what you want. You are there for your son, things won't get any better. Kids don't hold a relationship together and kids don't make a relationship any better or great either.........I know, I've been there.

 

I'd follow your heart, you have every right to be happy in life also.