Althalus Posted January 4, 2005 Share Posted January 4, 2005 I have had a problem in relationships in that whenever I try to take a friendship to the next level, it doesn't work out as the lady claims that it would spoil the friendship, but I believe in the words of Micheal Bolton "how can we be lovers if we can't be friends" and I usually try to be friends first before asking her out. The last one said I should have said something earlier before we became close friends, and we had only been friends for a month. I would like to know how fast one should go in moving from friendship to something deeper. or maybe I just a Mr nice guy someone who they run to with their problems but is to nice to be in a relationship with. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 4, 2005 Share Posted January 4, 2005 Originally posted by Althalus I would like to know how fast one should go in moving from friendship to something deeper. or maybe I just a Mr nice guy someone who they run to with their problems but is to nice to be in a relationship with. ALTHALUS: You are putting the cart before the horse here. First you become lovers and then friends as you get to know each other better in the relationship. Becoming friends first and then lovers very rarely works and is the strategy of "nice guy". This is one main reason why "nice guy" stay home masturbating on fri and sat nite while girls they like are out havin' fun with normal guys. The relationships that last are the ones where you are both lovers and friends at same time, but lover has to come first. Link to post Share on other sites
Sharmaine Posted January 5, 2005 Share Posted January 5, 2005 I'd agree with what AlphaMale says. I'm female and guys who I have started off as being 'friends' with, never ended up in us being 'lovers'. Link to post Share on other sites
Charlotte Posted January 6, 2005 Share Posted January 6, 2005 I disagree with the above. I prefer to be friends first as I like to get to know the guy. I don't believe in lust at first sight. Many guys I like the look off, I am turned off once I get to know their personality. I tend to fall in love with who they are. And I only find this out once I get to know them really well. Now this can take me 6 to 12 months - just depends how much time I spend with him. So Althalus, there is no rule for how fast to go. Every girl is different. Some prefer lovers first, others friends first, some take along time to seduce, others prefer to take it fast. I think its more about reading the signals correctly. Link to post Share on other sites
Devildog Posted January 6, 2005 Share Posted January 6, 2005 Althalus, it might help if you stop listening to Michael Bolton!!! Seriously, that tells me you are too nice a guy and yes, girls see you as "one of the girls". Link to post Share on other sites
iceisles Posted January 6, 2005 Share Posted January 6, 2005 Originally posted by Devildog Althalus, it might help if you stop listening to Michael Bolton!!! Seriously, that tells me you are too nice a guy and yes, girls see you as "one of the girls". The good news is that it isn't always difficult to break out of that shell. I have known guys who have started as friends, thought that was all they were, but found out that the girl was willing to consider something more when they posed the idea. I strongly believe that some of the best lovers and strongest relationships evolve from a solid friendship. Believe it or not, there are girls out there who actually want to get to know a guy a little first as a friend before transitioning to something more. Link to post Share on other sites
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