How does your MM interact with his wife on Facebook?

[Popsicle]

Does he click "like" on things she posts?

[missannoyed]

my xMM's W won't even accept his friend request on facebook.

[Popsicle]

my xMM's W won't even accept his friend request on facebook.

 

That's funny. I wonder why not.

[whichwayisup]

Does he click "like" on things she posts?

 

Can I ask? Are you looking for hidden messages, reading between the lines on their facebook activity to see how close they are or judge their marriage through fb?

[Raena]

Yeah, I really wouldn't worry too much about what they do on fb... it has no bearing on their relationship.

 

I find too, that most adults who live together, don't usually spend time "liking" each others posts or chatting to each other on there. They do it in person instead.

[experiencethedevine]

That's funny. I wonder why not.

 

 

Because she already knows what a twat he is......................

[Popsicle]

Yeah, I really wouldn't worry too much about what they do on fb... it has no bearing on their relationship.

 

I find too, that most adults who live together, don't usually spend time "liking" each others posts or chatting to each other on there. They do it in person instead.

 

If most normal adults who live together don't spend time "liking" each others posts because they do it in person, then what does it mean if they do "like" each others posts on there a lot?

[Eggplant]

If most normal adults who live together don't spend time "liking" each others posts because they do it in person, then what does it mean if they do "like" each others posts on there a lot?

They spend time on FB for other friends and family. Perhaps in the process they happen to see each other's posts and so like them.

[liloldlady]

Does he click "like" on things she posts?

 

RARELY. So sad.

[Popsicle]

And, for the record, my original question was asking others if their MM interacts on FB with his wife by "liking" posts. Not really looking for interpretations (because that can be all over the place and is not that important to me).

[liloldlady]

Can I ask? Are you looking for hidden messages, reading between the lines on their facebook activity to see how close they are or judge their marriage through fb?

 

Well everyone knows it's a red flag if your man hides you on Facebook. Then again, it's also an indication that something is going on. You have to look at what is not being said as well when analyzing relationships...

[Popsicle]

They spend time on FB for other friends and family. Perhaps in the process they happen to see each other's posts and so like them.

 

Thanks. Yeah I'm not on there much, but from the little I've seen, this is how most married couples act with each other on there to me. I was just wondering what the norm was.

Edited December 17, 2013 by Popsicle

[MissBee]

Does he click "like" on things she posts?

 

When I was in the A he didn't have FB and I'm not sure if he did if I'd have added him anyway. The less I knew about their life, the better. I wouldn't have wanted to spend time obsessing over FB interactions.

[MissBee]

Yeah, I really wouldn't worry too much about what they do on fb... it has no bearing on their relationship.

 

I find too, that most adults who live together, don't usually spend time "liking" each others posts or chatting to each other on there. They do it in person instead.

 

This isn't necessarily true though. My roommate and I will sit right beside each other or be in our bedrooms and comment on each other's FB pages and like each other's posts, then joke about the fact that we're doing that . We're not in a romantic relationship though, but I'm just saying that just because you also talk to someone in person doesn't mean you can never like their FB posts or comment on FB or that it tells you anything definitive about their relationship if they do.

 

In relationships though I'm not too big on the FB thing. I don't put up relationship statuses and all that kind of stuff and don't broadcast my relationships on FB. So if someone were looking on my FB to know about my relationship they would have very little to go on.

[MissBee]

RARELY. So sad.

 

How is it sad?

 

FB is FB and isn't the measure of your relationship. It is more sad for someone to be looking at their "boyfriend" and his "wife's" FB likes and to be reading into it from behind their screen trying to determine what it means.

[threelaurels]

If most normal adults who live together don't spend time "liking" each others posts because they do it in person, then what does it mean if they do "like" each others posts on there a lot?

 

I don't think it means anything. Some people are just more into facebook than other people. For example, the only reason I have one is because my friends prefer sending out party/bar night invites through it. I only ever check mine when I get an email notification that someone has messaged me or I need to send out an invite myself, so I "like" my friends' and boyfriend's statuses rarely. Meanwhile, some of my friends spend hours upon hours on facebook and "like"/comment on things frequently. My silence doesn't mean anything more than that I'm just not a big facebooker.

[Popsicle]

Meanwhile, some of my friends spend hours upon hours on facebook and "like"/comment on things frequently.

 

Are they married? Do they do this a lot during the time/hours they are with their spouse?

[bentleychic]

I'm not on her facebook and it's locked down really tight due to her work so I have no idea, though he says they rarely interact on fb. The only thing I see of her is when she (rarely) tags him in a post or picture (for his bday, father's day, etc.). I think I've seen her "like" two things on his page since I've been in a R with him (well over a year) though it's quite possible I may have missed some b/c I don't pay that close attention to everything that he posts. He normally tells me when he posts something on her page (he did for her bday this year and last year) and exactly what it says b/c he doesn't seem to get that I cannot see much on her page. I think he thinks I'll check it or something so wants to be up front about it, though I've told him over and over and over again how the privacy settings work on facebook.

[experiencethedevine]

Facebook, bloody facebook..............WHO CARES!!!!

[bentleychic]

Apparently some people do or they wouldn't have asked.

 

I will just say that people can make their lives appear to be anything they want. You may see a happy family in love on facebook when in reality, they are constantly at war IRL. Or vice versa.

 

What people look like online is not necessarily reality.

[wanting more]

I never understand why a person goes looking on fb for their AP or AP BS.

 

And then try to analyze what their fb means.

 

My fb shows my kids, my family. I put on there what I want. I don't put when my kid comes home with a bad grade, does that mean everyone thinks he's in the honor roll.

 

I went On xMM BW fb once, after 1st d-day. There was one pic on there of their entire family. I didn't like seeing it. And I've never been back.

[threelaurels]

Are they married? Do they do this a lot during the time/hours they are with their spouse?

 

Some are married, yes. Not all are though. As far as your second question goes, I don't go on facebook frequently enough to be able to answer that. Even if I were to look at it right now, the friends I'm close enough with to know their daily schedules tend to have very erratic hours that change from week to week, so I still wouldn't be able to give you a good answer.

[Evergreen160]

My ex-husband and I use to interact on FB constantly. We still do actually. My MM (or xMM) blocked his posts to his W so she can see his profile but can't interact with him. Its pretty indicative of their marriage in general.

[Britain]

Fakebook? Everyone's keeping up with the Jones Book. People show off their lives in the best light on Facebook. Yes, there are a few who habitually use it to post on and on about their marital or relationship woes, this is rare. They are not going to post pictures or videos of them arguing, sleeping in separate rooms, or throwing insults. It is not a realistic picture of what goes on behind closed doors. There may even be instances of the couple who shows the most of all happy merry photos, who may be the most miserable of the bunch.

[Popsicle]

I think its a manifestation of feeling completely in the dark regarding a person's life and marriage, and hoping to gain some sort of insight.

 

The way a vision a MM orchestrating an Affair is like this: Picture two windowless rooms. The wife is in one room, the OW is in the other room. The rooms are down the hall from each other and are sound proof. The MM runs from room to room. He tells the OW things about whats happening in the room with the W. He tells the W that when he's out of her room, he's doing x,y, z (when he's really in the OW's room). He probably tells the OW he's doing other things too, when in actuality he's in the W's room. He goes back and forth, back and forth. The OW and W are unable to leave their room, they have no access or line of sight or ability to hear the other room.

 

HOWEVER, every now and then...the OW and W get little glimpses or blips of the other room, or even other lady inside the room. Maybe the MM says something to the W while he's leaving her room, and the OW has her door open and hears it. Maybe she gets a glimpse of her, or a text message is seen..or an email...a phone #, or other people see the MM and report to the W/OW. So the W/OW begin to wonder. But they CANNOT have access to the other room.

 

The perception of each lady is COMPLETELY CONTROLLED AND MANAGED BY THE MM. He alone determines what they know, what they see, what they hear regarding his activities out of their room, the existence of other rooms, etc etc. but they have NO WAY of verifying. So back and forth he bounces, buckling up his pants, sweating, high-fiving himself, what have you.

 

Facebook is just one of those little "blips" or glimpses the OW and W happen upon, or perhaps even scour and scour over (in the OW case), trying to find verification, information or some sort of CLUE as to the other room, since they are completely in the dark as to what happens in that room.

 

I like the way you explained this. Thanks.

 

I've noticed that there are quite a few BS's posting on this sub-forum. I wonder why they are here? Probably to learn about how OW/OM's feel (and maybe try to influence them too).