Jump to content

Sex on first date

laylay305

By laylay305
in Dating

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

laylay305 Member

laylay305

Posted
Posted

Hey all. I started chatting with this dude I met online as we ended up going to watch football and grab drinks last night. It went well. We got along great and have a lot in common. We talked about some pretty serious stuff. He even admitted to stalking me on Instagram. however we ended up having a little too much and we went back to his place and hooked up, though the events are hazy. We cuddled, passed out, and went again this morning. He also went down on me this morning, which I wasn't expecting. When it came to sex though, he ended up being a little premature which I think he was slightly embarrassed about. We ended up chatting for a while but I had to leave to get ready for work. We didn't end up making plans again though.

 

So my question is, is sex on a first date a bad thing? Should I wait to see if he contacts me? He did admit to me last night that he's never had a true one night stand as well. Thanks for the help

Untouchable_Fire Established Member

Untouchable_Fire

Posted
Posted
Hey all. I started chatting with this dude I met online as we ended up going to watch football and grab drinks last night. It went well. We got along great and have a lot in common. We talked about some pretty serious stuff. He even admitted to stalking me on Instagram. however we ended up having a little too much and we went back to his place and hooked up, though the events are hazy. We cuddled, passed out, and went again this morning. He also went down on me this morning, which I wasn't expecting. When it came to sex though, he ended up being a little premature which I think he was slightly embarrassed about. We ended up chatting for a while but I had to leave to get ready for work. We didn't end up making plans again though.

So my question is, is sex on a first date a bad thing? Should I wait to see if he contacts me? He did admit to me last night that he's never had a true one night stand as well. Thanks for the help

 

Most of the time it's bad long term. However it doesn't have to be. It really depends on what kind of guy he is and how much he likes you.

 

The vast majority of men prefer a challenge, but some don't. So there is no easy answer to your question.

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

Posted
Posted

It depends on the people involved. As a woman, own your behavior. If you are OK with what happened, it's fine, whether or not he calls you again. If he doesn't you know his character. If he does it's all good.

 

 

If you are freaking out about what happened, stop & figure out why. Then don't repeat those behaviors (drinking too much with a man you hardly know).

  • Like 3
Phantom888 Established Member

Phantom888

Posted
Posted

If he is a genuinely good guy, then there is no problem with sex on first date. The thing is, you wouldn't know that about him so early on. So it would be a gamble. But I know lots of long term couples that had sex early, and it worked out great. My GF and I were completely into each other from the beginning, and had sex on our 2nd date, and we plan to get married some time next year. So it really depends on the guy's motives.

  • Like 3
manders_01 Established Member

manders_01

Posted
Posted

My current beau and I had sex on the first date. Neither of us regretted it. Neither of us thought less about the other because of it. It all depends on the people involved.

 

If you want to see him again and don't hear from him shortly, give him a jingle.

 

PS I hate, hate, HATE the double standard that makes it "okay" for a guy to think a girl is a slut for having sex on the first date but the guy is completely golden. Whatever. I respect guys that recognize and dismiss that double standard.

  • Like 7
Targetlock Established Member

Targetlock

Posted
Posted

In my opinion, it depends on the quality of the first date and whether it feels right to you and your partner.

  • Like 3
Ninjainpajamas Established Member

Ninjainpajamas

Posted
Posted

It depends on what the guys interest level is and what his beliefs/attitude is towards women and sex...but many many guys are going to cut you at least a little bit on the scale for putting out so easily for relationship material (even if he says nothing or acts like it's ok, long-term he may consider it) and it's not like guys are necessarily out there looking for a relationship left and right anyway...everything in between and down to just casual random sex is usually what a lot of guys prefer anyway with no or little strings attached...most of em just end of falling into relationships half the time as well by the persistence and diligence of woman who seem to suddenly become desperately interested and enamored in a man they may not have even cared about much before having sex with him...like it just grows and grows and grows after sex...or nothing happens at all, not usually much in between unless they've got a clear grip on their emotions.

 

If he doesn't get back to you, then he wasn't that interested. Would he have dated you if you didn't have sex on the first date? he would have probably pursued you until he did get laid or it became too much of a time and money sink with no reward if he wasn't..the only thing that was surprising to me at first way back when was so many men are done with women after the first time...but hey, guess that's all they needed...and many guys will do things for an ego boost and a notch on the bedpost, especially young guys...they don't see it as you mutually having sex but them being awesome enough to get in your pants so soon.

 

Also this whole "mutual respect" no double-standard thing...look ladies, a lot of guys feign respect for women, but they don't have it...and that's usually demonstrated in their behavior like all things, so just because a guy spouts a few words on the internet about how equal men and women are or how he never judged you for having sex on the first date doesn't necessarily make it anywhere near the truth...some men excel at lying and manipulation or just saying what women want to hear as it's pretty simple to figure out for any guy with a half-a-brain. Women take things at such face value that men can pretty much pretend to be anything and it's believable...until he disappears out of thin air on you of course, then you're all confused...wonder why? hmm

 

Many men merely look at women as objects...objects of sexual pleasure and release, they don't care if you're smoking hot or borderline repulsive depending on the guy, if it's there and available he'll take it.

 

It's like buying something from a dollar/euro store and then someone says "Well clearly you are cheap if you buy something from a cheap store"...no, there's no association with you as an individual because you bought a cheap can of paint or whatever that cost 1 dollar/euro, you might use that can of paint to paint a irrelevant piece of pipe or old rusty thing to just to cover it up with something...doesn't mean though you'd go to the dollar/euro store and buy twelve cans to paint to do your whole house...no, you're going to the hardware store or some nicer place, where you will pick the gloss, the shade, this and that...you'll be meticulous about it because it's something you actually care about.

 

Do you see the difference and disassociation for a lot of guy out there? you're not THAT important as an individual because you get the job done of what they sought out...sex. Now if you want to say something like "well all I wanted was sex too so fine, I got what I needed too then"...go right ahead, that's your right, but don't think that just because you see it that way makes another men think or feel that way, he'll still judge you based on his own attitude and opinion, he'll never agree with you so if there is a double standard your words aren't going to change his mind. You can claim whatever you want, at the end of the day he got laid...if you're ok with that then super...but that guy is already moving onto the next big thing he's never had sex with yet.

 

Now to get back to your specific post, you still have time...he may get back to you...however it's always a better idea actually getting to know somebody if you're looking for a relationship unless you want to sleep with a hundred guys then say "well see...relationships can happen out of ONS, this one guy stick around...see it just took a little luck and bad eggs!"...well, hey go for it girl. But generally don't be surprised if guys just continue on their way, the whole guy you think you know could've just been a facade or he may not really been that interested as you thought he was.

  • Like 1
  • Author
laylay305 Member

laylay305

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thanks guys. He did text me tonight. And I wanted to have sex with him, so I did. Yes, it was soon, but I don't regret what I did. I rarely ever do something like this, but it felt right in the moment.

  • Like 2
MalachiX Established Member

MalachiX

Posted
Posted

There's no right time to have sex and any many who judges a woman for sex he particapates in is a d-bag (and I'm amazed how often I have to write this sentence). Some couples just "know" and want to become intimate as soon as possible. Some couples start out as casual sex and develop feelings.

 

All that said, I think as I get older I prefer to avoid sex too early. I don't think there's anything wrong with sex in the first or second date. I just think that it perhaps becomes distracting. At least for me.

  • Like 2
abby2 Member

abby2

Posted
Posted

If you think it's okay then is not a bad thing, is personal preference.

 

He'll contact you again if he wants more sex from you since that's what you are giving him.

Purepony Established Member

Purepony

Posted
Posted

 

So my question is, is sex on a first date a bad thing? Should I wait to see if he contacts me? He did admit to me last night that he's never had a true one night stand as well. Thanks for the help

 

Sounds like your both ok with a one night stand

StanMusial Established Member

StanMusial

Posted
Posted
Thanks guys. He did text me tonight. And I wanted to have sex with him, so I did. Yes, it was soon, but I don't regret what I did. I rarely ever do something like this, but it felt right in the moment.

 

Pour a few in ya and it all feels right.

MissBee Established Member

MissBee

Posted
Posted

Most times it's a bad idea.

 

I've never done it and I wouldn't if I was serious about a relationship. Sex often does change things or cloud your judgment and I'd rather actually get to know you and figure out where things are headed before having sex.

  • Like 1
Shashasha Established Member

Shashasha

Posted
Posted

Don't think this is a good idea. If you are looking for a serious relationship, get to know the guy first!

FrankieFrank Established Member

FrankieFrank

Posted
Posted (edited)

Sex on a first date? None of my business who others slept with as long as they don't attempt to get involved with me (which they don't anyways). Then I have a right to know and reject any woman who does/did that.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Response to deleted post redacted
crederer Established Member

crederer

Posted
Posted

I think people put too much into the whole "when is too soon to have sex" thing. If you hit it off with someone, and have sex, it's not a huge deal. If the guy sees you as a "whore" as another poster stated, then he can go cram it with walnuts and is an idiot.

  • Like 1
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...