Going with your gut, intuition, inner voice

[Babolat]

We here this a lot in our life, on LS, etc "Listen to your gut", "Go with your intuition, your inner voice".

 

Me, personally, I am very introspective, I feel things, I read people well, I pick up on energy, vibes, etc. Sometimes I like it, and, well, sometimes I do not. I am also a logical, analytical, concrete kind of person; I need data if you will. I need to "see it" too. So I battle myself, all the time.

 

I'm curuous to hear stories & opinions on what this means to you, how often do you listen to your gut, how often is it right, what you think intuition is, how do "we know", etc. Have you ever made a decsion, on, gut feeling alone, with nothing to really support it? If you did, were you right?

 

Sometimes I wonder if past experiences cause us to "feel something" when we think we "see something". Is that a gut feeling, or a trust issue inside of us, or what?

 

Is "gut felling" a collection of life experiences? Are some of us more in tune to our "gut feeling", then others?

[regine_phalange]

Lovely topic!

 

I think a "gut feeling" is a very fast train of thought. We don't notice the process but we get the outcome of it directly.

 

I always listen to it, because when someting is wrong it just won't leave me alone.

[todreaminblue]

i have been told by my inner voice to listen or suffer.......i have strong vibe feelings when i am out around people and people must bounce their own vibes off of me because they end up being the ones to come up to me when they need help......even if i wear headphones.......i can tell when people like me and when they don't........which is good as far as this goes i have made only one mistake......in the past decade plus........deb

Edited December 17, 2013 by todreaminblue

[jba10582]

The idea of this thread is very interesting and would love to get more perspective on using intuition from some of the females here.

[theediblewoman]

I try to listen to my intuition as much as possible because most of the times I where haven't I 've regretted it. I find usually my feelings about something are dead on and the times I've ignored it I get really strange vivid dreams involving the people in the situation.

[Eternal Sunshine]

My intuition is usually very accurate. That said, I need hard data too. So what happens is that I get a gut feeling and I look for ways to confirm. 9 times out of 10 I am correct.

 

Say I go on a first date with a guy. I am attracted but my gut feeling tells me he is bad news. At that point there is no actual evidence that he is bad news. He does everything the way he should...but then 2 months later it all start coming out and I see that my original gut feeling is spot on.

 

These days, I am only really comfortable when my gut feeling and my logic tell me the same thing.

[Under The Radar]

Interesting thread and great questions, Babolat.

 

I do think that people's personal baggage and cognitive distortions can skew reality at times. The individual will have a premonition that is harmful to a relationship because of THEIR own issues.

 

However, that being said, I've suffered more times in my life than not for ignoring my gut ...... and second guessing myself.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I have also dumped someone and then second guessed myself and asked them back.

 

It always turned out that I was right the first time.

[Mrlonelyone]

Not very often do I just listen to my gut. It is the case for me that my heart says one thing and my head says another.

 

 

There are times for example that I imagine my most recent Ex trying to come back to me. I think I would feel in my heart that I would want them back and to try and make a pretty decent R work. My head says that at best they were the right kind of person with the wrong time of life.

 

 

My head says there has to be someone who is both that kind of person but who is also at the right time of life to start something that can become permanent.

 

 

Yet I can't say I would certainly go with my head.

[Emilia]

I think what you need to be careful of is negative self talk. What you could perhaps sometimes perceive as your intuition while really it's your mind filling the blanks with negativity that in turn becomes self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

If your 'intuition' seems to land you in anxiety a lot of the time, you need to work out whether it is more your perception rather than reality. Especially if it interferes with your relationships a lot of the time.

[soccerrprp]

I think what you need to be careful of is negative self talk. What you could perhaps sometimes perceive as your intuition while really it's your mind filling the blanks with negativity that in turn becomes self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

If your 'intuition' seems to land you in anxiety a lot of the time, you need to work out whether it is more your perception rather than reality. Especially if it interferes with your relationships a lot of the time.

 

I'm with you Emilia.

 

I've heard so many people congratulate themselves about their "gut feeling" and the vast majority of the time it's done in hindsight. You know, like, my gut told me this and that and I should have listened to it b/c it's usually right or some may even claim it's always right. I find this to be humorous.

 

But, like you, Emilia, many people let their emotions, disguised as intuition or gut feeling let to get the best of them. I don't rely on my gut feeling b/c it is entirely emotional, irrational. On the other hand, I am much more analytical and use experience. Gut feeling sounds too emotional and subjective to me.

 

I simply do not buy into it, but if it helps people feel better that they have it- great. Whatever "feeling" I have comes from observation and circumstances that exist in the real world. Not something that evolves like spidey-senses.

 

When people glorify their "gut feeling", I also sometimes wonder where it was the 10th other times they dated and were fooled, or things didn't work out. These feelings are ignored or did that same gut feeling tell them during those 10 times that things were okay until it was too late?

 

Just my 2-cents.

Edited December 18, 2013 by soccerrprp

[RedRobin]

I'm with you Emilia.

 

I've heard so many people congratulate themselves about their "gut feeling" and the vast majority of the time it's done in hindsight. You know, like, my gut told me this and that and I should have listened to it b/c it's usually right or some may even claim it's always right. I find this to be humorous.

 

But, like you, Emilia, many people let their emotions, disguised as intuition or gut feeling let to get the best of them. I don't rely on my gut feeling b/c it is entirely emotional, irrational. On the other hand, I am much more analytical and use experience. Gut feeling sounds too emotional and subjective to me.

 

I simply do not buy into it, but if it helps people feel better that they have it- great. Whatever "feeling" I have comes from observation and circumstances that exist in the real world. Not something that evolves like spidey-senses.

 

When people glorify their "gut feeling", I also sometimes wonder where it was the 10th other times they dated and were fooled, or things didn't work out. These feelings are ignored or did that same gut feeling tell them during those 10 times that things were okay until it was too late?

 

Just my 2-cents.

 

This is a good explanation. The parts where I use my 'gut' feeling are usually just areas of possible incompatibility. Something that draws my attention and deserves more attention.

 

For me, sometimes that original feeling is eliminated or soothed after getting to know someone. Other times, that original assessment is actually dead on.

 

In other words... when people say they are usually correct about a 'gut' feeling, what they really might be saying is they are very good at identifying areas of possible incompatibility.

 

Maybe at the time, they think that incompatibility isn't that big of a thing, or they don't realize how it will affect them in the long-term.

 

So the 'hindsight' is more piecing together an experience of how a certain choice to accept or try to work with a possible incompatibility affected them. This is necessary work on the path to self-awareness. Learning what we can and cannot accept.

[regine_phalange]

What if someone has an intuitive way of thinking? Some of us are not naturally logical thinkers. I mean, I'm not bad with logic, but it is not my natural way of thinking. I am one of those people who start writing before realizing a thought. I have a tendency to be intuitive. I have not been the best in physics lets say, but I have always been very good in analyzing poems for example.

 

I've had a bad gut feeling about a woman we were chatting online in a community of mutual interest (friendly), cut her off. Something was just off about her, couldnt understand what. Some months later she extorted a lot of money from a male member, had lied to him and to other 50 people about her age, about not being married, leading a double life.

Edited December 18, 2013 by regine_phalange

[Babolat]

Especially if it interferes with your relationships a lot of the time.

 

Bingo, this is me. My intuition, gut feeling, inner voice loves to go crazy once in a dating relationship.

[Babolat]

This is a good explanation. The parts where I use my 'gut' feeling are usually just areas of possible incompatibility. Something that draws my attention and deserves more attention.

 

For me, sometimes that original feeling is eliminated or soothed after getting to know someone. Other times, that original assessment is actually dead on.

 

In other words... when people say they are usually correct about a 'gut' feeling, what they really might be saying is they are very good at identifying areas of possible incompatibility.

 

Maybe at the time, they think that incompatibility isn't that big of a thing, or they don't realize how it will affect them in the long-term.

 

So the 'hindsight' is more piecing together an experience of how a certain choice to accept or try to work with a possible incompatibility affected them. This is necessary work on the path to self-awareness. Learning what we can and cannot accept.

 

Well said, and I agree. In addition, I often hear, what was an initially an attraction, turned out to, not be. It was "exciting for a while" but once you realize it's who they are, the excitment wore off and/or it became exhausting/draining.

[Babolat]

What if someone has an intuitive way of thinking? Some of us are not naturally logical thinkers. I mean, I'm not bad with logic, but it is not my natural way of thinking. I am one of those people who start writing before realizing a thought. I have a tendency to be intuitive. I have not been the best in physics lets say, but I have always been very good in analyzing poems for example.

 

I've had a bad gut feeling about a woman we were chatting online in a community of mutual interest (friendly), cut her off. Something was just off about her, couldnt understand what. Some months later she extorted a lot of money from a male member, had lied to him and to other 50 people about her age, about not being married, leading a double life.

This is how I can be, something just doesn't feel right. You did not have "fact" or "data" to support it, or, maybe you really did, just not as obvious as you might have thought. Maybe is was little things you noticed.

[soccerrprp]

This is how I can be, something just doesn't feel right. You did not have "fact" or "data" to support it, or, maybe you really did, just not as obvious as you might have thought. Maybe is was little things you noticed.

 

Babolat,

 

I suspect that if you look back, you see the signs (evidence) and that and experience, is what gives you that "feeling." Oftentimes it's subtle, but you have be careful, like others have said, that these "feelings" don't become imaginary morsels of self-doubt, apparitions of truths that fool you into thinking it's something when it's nothing. I am convinced that there are a lot of people, a lot of people on LS that would fit this.

[Emilia]

Babolat,

 

I suspect that if you look back, you see the signs (evidence) and that and experience, is what gives you that "feeling." Oftentimes it's subtle, but you have be careful, like others have said, that these "feelings" don't become imaginary morsels of self-doubt, apparitions of truths that fool you into thinking it's something when it's nothing. I am convinced that there are a lot of people, a lot of people on LS that would fit this.

It's called 'confirmation bias'. Have to be very careful with that.

[soccerrprp]

It's called 'confirmation bias'. Have to be very careful with that.

 

Thanks. I like that term. I think we ALL have this once in a while. Some do better to quell it than others.

 

I know that there are times when I get touches of doubt or questioning and a "feeling" comes over me regarding it. Then, almost immediately, I remind myself that I have no substantive reason to "feel" that way and look at the evidence. My reasoning and examination of the evidence is what saves me almost all the time. It hasn't failed me yet (blah, blah, blah....).

[Eternal Sunshine]

Babolat,

 

I suspect that if you look back, you see the signs (evidence) and that and experience, is what gives you that "feeling." Oftentimes it's subtle, but you have be careful, like others have said, that these "feelings" don't become imaginary morsels of self-doubt, apparitions of truths that fool you into thinking it's something when it's nothing. I am convinced that there are a lot of people, a lot of people on LS that would fit this.

 

There lies my biggest problem. I am not able to tell when it's genuine gut feeling and when it's just my insecurity etc. I deal with this by doing nothing, just observe the situation as it develops. Time tells all one way or the other.

[truth_seeker]

I usually know in my gut something is wrong when I get a sinking feeling in my stomach.

[Emilia]

There lies my biggest problem. I am not able to tell when it's genuine gut feeling and when it's just my insecurity etc. I deal with this by doing nothing, just observe the situation as it develops. Time tells all one way or the other.

I think a better strategy would be to try to try to ask questions/see whether the issue can be fixed rather than passively observe. Passivity often works to your detriment I think.

[StanMusial]

I usually just use common sense.

 

In extraordinary circumstances I use my Spidey sense.

[OnlyHonesty]

It sounds like many here are confusing emotionally driven decisions with intuition. When you use intuition, it is often a very quick, almost an instant decision that is not necessarily based on emotion or logic.

 

I believe that if one restricts themselves to only relying on logic and their physical surroundings, they are losing out. Just imagine you had access to decision making beyond your logical mind but you decided only to make ones based on your immediate surroundings, wouldn't that be a shame? Once you close your mind to this possibility, that's it.

[Babolat]

It's called 'confirmation bias'. Have to be very careful with that.

 

Thanks for posting this, I'm reading up on this, and, it makes sense to me.