Ex called me an alcoholic

[tcd421]

She said my drinking was one of the reasons she split with me and i don't see it that way. She new i drank before we got together. she had kids and told me point blank she did not want them to see me drinking. the one time i did show up at her place when i had been drinking she put me on notice that if i showed up like that again it was over. I did take her word on this and from that point when i was with her and her kids i was sober, later when i went home yes i would have 2 or 3 beers before going to bed. She did drink too, but that was when her kids were at there fathers but any how that leads me in to what i am thinking about with me? am i one?

 

i am 40 years old though i was drunk maybe once before i turned 34, i got a late start on alot of things in life and drinking came when i started dating women that drank at the age of 34. but then it was not very often but eventually became what it has been the last 2 years or so about a 12 pack of beer a night habit and rarely liquor or mixed drinks, there have been times i have had to stop for a while and did with no withdrawal symptoms aside from lack of sleep that first night. My grandfather i know was one quit in 1972, and my uncle as well. my father rarely if ever touched the stuff.

 

As of right now given an important enough reason to modify my behavior i have, what does that say about me?

[d0nnivain]

A 12 pack a night is a problem. Just because you only drink beer & not hard liquor doesn't exempt you from having a problem.

 

Cut down your intake.

[jimloveslips]

the last 2 years or so about a 12 pack of beer a night habit

 

I think she's right.

 

How do you function the next day?

You must work, how else can you afford it?

 

Do you smoke too?

 

Pretty sure you're not jogging five miles a day either.

 

Dude, you need to take care of yourself!

And, more importantly, those around you - I'd hate to be driving on the same road as you first thing in the morning.

[tcd421]

I do work 9-5 job and liive less than a mile from it and in bed around midnight. Mornings I do feel a hangover but that normally clears by 10 am. And I dont drive when i have been drinking a lot.

 

I have never smoked, and I am 6'6" 370 if that makes a difference.

[tcd421]

I should also ad I am currently day 3 of abstaining

[TaraMaiden]

'Denial' ain't a river in Egypt, honey....

 

You talk about abstaining. That's as good as an admission that you're an habitual drinker, and it's part of your life.

 

A drink should not be part of who you are....

 

How about just deciding you're just a social drinker, and you limit it to two beers?

 

And you say you don't drink and drive? if you're having 12 beers, and you feel hung-over at work in the morning - you're still drunk and very probably over the limit, on your drive in....

 

You sound as if a visit to AA could be on the cards for you.

 

But first - you have to realise it for yourself.....

[ASG]

Being an habitual drinker is not the same as being an alcoholic. Alcoholics have no control over their drinking.

 

When you say 12 beers... what size are we talking about? 12 pints? or 12 small bottles? It might seem trivial, but it is a BIG difference.

 

I would say, based on *my* life experience that no, you are not an alcoholic, but an habitual drinker. But then again, I am sure most people on here would consider ME an alcoholic, considering how much and how frequently I drink.

 

But if you feel you need to cut down, then do. 12 beers is not healthy anyway, so even though I wouldn't say you're an alcoholic, it sure isn't doing you any favours drinking that much!

[TaraMaiden]

His use of the word 'abstaining' is interesting. Why not just say, I haven't actually had a drink for 3 days..... 'abstaining' implies that he's actually having to make an effort to NOT drink.

 

If - and only IF - that is the case, then yes, he's either alcohol-dependent, or an alcoholic (there's a difference).

[MidwestUSA]

I do work 9-5 job and liive less than a mile from it and in bed around midnight. Mornings I do feel a hangover but that normally clears by 10 am. And I dont drive when i have been drinking a lot.

 

I have never smoked, and I am 6'6" 370 if that makes a difference.

 

Are you asking if it makes a difference because you believe you SHOULD be able to drink more? And that a twelve pack a day shouldn't sound like much?

 

Not flying with me.

 

You're a heart attack waiting to happen.

[tcd421]

Uh no, i am just wonder since every time i stop drinking for any length of time i don't have any of the dreaded withdrawal symptoms like cravings, shakes, hallucinations for example. if i was "addicted" wouldn't i have problems when i go a week or more without? right now approaching 5 days without i am not being consumed by thoughts of when will i drink again.

[Elias33]

Uh no, i am just wonder since every time i stop drinking for any length of time i don't have any of the dreaded withdrawal symptoms like cravings, shakes, hallucinations for example. if i was "addicted" wouldn't i have problems when i go a week or more without? right now approaching 5 days without i am not being consumed by thoughts of when will i drink again.

 

Good news. Keep that up for the next year

 

12 pack a night would put me into a coma.

[williesd]

 

I have never smoked, and I am 6'6" 370 if that makes a difference.

 

 

Your two inches taller than me and I weigh 210-220 lbs depending on if I'm actively running or not. The extra weight your carrying is asking for extra health troubles. It's also decieving you into thinking that a 12 pack of beer isn't having an effect on you. Do not think just because it's only beer it won't grip you. I left a relationship because she only drank a six pack a day and was tiny. If she's still drinking, she's likely heading for a gravesite in the next 5 or ten years.

 

Short answer, yes, drinking a 12 pack a day, you border on whether your a problem drinker or if you've pushed it and would be considered an alcoholic. There's lot of schools of thoughts, but I would distinguish between the two, problem drinker or alcholic. The alcoholic should never drink again I'd think. The problem drinker, needs to control and actively check themselves. Go 3 to 6 months without, see how you feel. Take up different hobbies instead of drinking the 12 pack.