solong123 Posted December 18, 2013 Share Posted December 18, 2013 I just need to really vent about this. My family (immediate) was always very close and then when my parents divorced 6 years ago, things slowly keep falling apart (I am 20). My brother who is 18 has absolutely no responsibility or care for anyone but himself and my mom has babied him his entire life. We are living with my mom right now and I always make sure to do extra things and clean up the entire house and run errands for her. I am currently a fulltime student and work fulltime due to bills and school bills., she does not help me at all and i dont expect it at this point but she does not respect me for whatt I am doing. She dropped out of college her first semester so I dont know if she feels less or something but never once did I say anything or care because everyone is entitled to do what they want. Even though i juggle school work and basically take care of the entire house because they are too lazy to clean after themselves, it still isnrt enough for her. She says im lazy and useless basically and rhat hurts alot. Now my brother is home from school with no job doing nothing , just leaving messes that I have to clean, and he has began saying the same things to me. It really hurts because I am doing the best i can and I am so proud of how far I have come while balancing all of this. I feel like i dont have support and that crushes me because I reallly am trying to be the best I can be...it makes me feel empty and alone. Shouldnt family want to support you not bring you down...my dad is in my life and the most supportive person ever always asking me about school saying he is proud, so what is their deal... Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 18, 2013 Share Posted December 18, 2013 Can you have a calm conversation with your mother? Point out the things you do. Don't accuse her or your brother of anything. Ask your mother what she would like to see you doing so that she would not consider you lazy. If you can shift your focus to her needs, that may help. Barring that, go live with your dad. Link to post Share on other sites
Debanked Posted December 18, 2013 Share Posted December 18, 2013 Sounds like they are acting immature and trying to put you down to feel better about themselves. They probably have some jealous admiration for your ambition and work ethic. Keep being yourself. I agree about having a conversation with your mom. She might be envious of your relationship with your dad, and feel like second fiddle. Maybe start out by telling her you love her, give her a hug. Then tell her your feelings about how she and your brother are treating you. Stay positive. Link to post Share on other sites
jimloveslips Posted December 18, 2013 Share Posted December 18, 2013 Sounds like you are a proactive resourceful person with income - move out! Live your own life. Look on the message board at college, I bet there's several people just like you looking for people to share. Really, you can do it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted December 18, 2013 Share Posted December 18, 2013 I agree. You shouldn't even have to justify yourself. She clearly does not appreciate what you do and you should sit down and discuss how this is making you feel with her. If that doesn't work, try and pull your resources together so you can move out. Link to post Share on other sites
Kizza Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 (edited) When I was younger and my parents split my mum was really depressed. Unfortunately she wasn't her best toward me. A lot of how she felt was projected on to me. My brother not so much at all really, mostly me. I moved away because of this at 11 and lost a good 10 years. We are very close today because I moved back as an adult to bond with her and things are great. I would talk to her and ask her if she is ok. point out that she is acting different toward you and that is concerning. She is your mum, I am sure she does not hate you or intend to have you feeling this way. It is very often true that we hurt the ones closest to our hearts the most when times are tough or there is inner turmoil going on. There could be something running deeper here that you are not aware of. As you are currently transitioning from being a teen in to a young adult it could be tough for your mum to be able to voice if she is having a tough time. She has always been the mum... She may even be having a tough time because you are growing up and becoming so independent. It might have her feeling low? Does she have any other relationships in her life, a bf or friends etc...? Edited December 19, 2013 by Kizza Link to post Share on other sites
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